Un-American Pie

If you're a Real American like me, you're probably sick of all this elitist hand-wringing over solving the so-called "problem" of epistemic closure (whatever, Frenchy!) among conservatives. The answer is quite simple, eggheads: put a spoon in their mouths so they don't swallow their tongues, and let them go back to watching Glenn Beck. Unfortunately, the weak sisters of the conservative movement who see "epistemic closure" as the shibboleth for gaining admittance to the Georgetown cocktail party circuit have no use for common-sense conservative solutions like this. Instead, The Left and their stooges on the right view it as the problematic circle jerk among the Fox News, the Republican Party, and the conservative blogosphere, which will ultimately render movement conservatism intellectually bankrupt... at least until Sarah Palin's next book. As far as I can tell, it is the only sexual act our pointy-headed intellectual superiors find objectionable, which speaks mountains about liberal hypocrisy in these matters.

What's truly unfortunate is that all this pointless chatter about intellectual honesty and standards and principles diverts attention away from the sort of blogging that really matters, like exposing the latest pastry-based Outrage the Obama thugocracy has unleashed on Our Nation:

Obama's senior adviser, David Axelrod, told Jay Leno Friday that the president was forced to "separate" from the White House pastry chef to break his bad eating habits.

"One of the things that happened when he came to the White House is they have a very great pastry chef. It became a big problem," Axelrod confided on "The Tonight Show."

The president, he said, "has a weakness for pie."

This is a bigger slap in the face than Curry-gate, Arugula-gate, Orange Juice-gate, and Waffle-gate combined. It is my understanding that where "President" Obama comes from, the native palate tends to favor things like grubworms and zebras over American dishes like pies and cakes, which begs the follow-up question, "What kind of pastries does Barack Hussein Obama like?"

The answer probably would have surpised us. Axelrod may have unconvincingly tried to weasel out of the trap he set for himself by referring to that most American of desserts, apple pie, but I suspect in the chummy world of lamestream media in which he travels, he would have shown his true colors and said that the "President" finishes each meal with a slice of Chairman Mao's red velvet cake before bowing five times toward Mecca, and sneaks down into the White House kitchen in the middle of the night for a slice of Black Power! forest cake. The ensuing clamour would see an investigation into the unsavory past of Obama's Chicago Machine-connected pastry chef and the many revolutionary cookbooks lining the walls of the pantry (e.g. Saul Alinsky's Recipes for Radicals: Fomenting Class-Based Revolution in Five Easy Courses). That Jay Leno would choose to ignore this obvious gaffe is neither surprising nor unusual. Once again, by their dereliction of duty, liberal media's talking heads have shown that it's up to the Fox News personalities to do the heavy lifting in journalism. Megyn, Bill O, take it away. Praise Him!

Tea room tirade

One of the most pernicious lies MSM has been spreading since Barack Hussein Obama eked out an electoral victory through the usual liberal chicanery is that America is no longer a center-right nation. The very idea is preposterous, as only a nation truly secure in its center-rightness would elect a negroid Muslim Marxist to be president, and give congressional majorities to a bunch of baby-killing homosexuals. If you needed further proof of Our Nation's committment to Traditional Values, consider the following:

Officials in Minnesota say that interest in the airport men's room where Senator Larry Craig (R-MN) was arrested for sexual solicitation in June 2007 has finally waned. ...

The restroom briefly became a tourist attraction after news came out that Craig had been arrested and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. One fan of the story even attempted to buy the stall for $5000, but according to Hogan, the airport does not "sell fixtures for novelty purposes."

Nothing could possibly prove the center-left fallacy more. If Americans were truly as enthusiastic about the liberals' agenda of raising taxes, negotiating with terrorists, and fornicating in public restrooms, will.i.am would have released a paean to sex in toilet stalls on Youtube, poor Elisabeth Hasselbeck would have been reduced to tears over the new urinal cake-scented potpourri Joy Behar put in her dressing room, and our fellow citizens would still be lining up to take a gander where having a wide stance is a crime. That none of these things have come to pass shows that Americans remain firmly committed to Our President's agenda of tax cuts, deregulation, and shoving glowsticks up enemy combatants' buttholes. Praise Him!

New skin for the old ceremony

If there's anything The Left loves most, it's siccing their Liberal Media attack dogs on those of us who don't hew to their PC line. This was all too evident this past "election" when Joe the Plumber was mau-maued by noted Katie Couric impersonator Shepard Smith for asserting his God-given right to talk out his ass. Well, Joe the Plumber should meet Lois the Drunken Harlot, because she's being similarly pilloried by the MSM for having the audacity to be heterosexual in Barack Hussein Obama's America:

A Carroll woman who was caught having sex in the men's room at an Iowa Hawkeye football game in Minneapolis last weekend says she’d had so much wine before kickoff that she doesn’t remember walking into the restroom, the man she had sex with in a stall, or when the police opened the door.

What Lois Feldman, 38, will remember is the humiliation afterward.

“It’s ruined my life,” she said through tears today. “Not just the incident but the press.”

Sister Nancy Beth shares Lois' tears, because clearly she's the latest victim of a liberal conspiracy that was conceived when Bill & Hillary Clinton took their first acid trip together. Not only does Mrs. Feldman's heterosexual vigor make her such a coveted trophy for The Left, but she was led into this perfect storm of binge drinking, carefree fornication, and sporting events by those most vengeful of harpies, feminists:

Feldman, who describes herself as a light drinker, drank wine at the home of family friends before the football game.

She said she doesn’t remember how much she drank, but the party’s hosts refilled her glass each time it was low “so I’m sure I drank a lot.”

Feldman said her husband later told her he’d tried to talk her out of the game because she was intoxicated.

“He said I didn’t realize it was that bad,” she said.

Feldman said her husband accompanied her to the game, but their friends stayed home.

Feminism offers two paths to "womynhood" for their recruits: the bitter, accusatory lesbianism practiced by the likes Rosie O'Donnell and Kathleen Parker, or total skankdom; Mrs. Feldman seems to have fallen prey to both.

First, if Hillary and her angry band of Amazons hadn't agitated for Title IX and girls' compulsory participation in sports, our hapless victim would have been content to stay home and clean like any good Christian homemaker. Second, America's liberal universities have made a night of black-out drinking and casual sex a requirement for graduation, even going so far as to require proof in the form of an abortion or an STD -- Ever wonder what those women's health clinics on campus were for? Now you know.

As long as the fake Americans are calling the shots for Our Nation, we will continue to see more human sacrifice of this sort to the false gods of multiculturalism. Hope for the restoration of Traditional Christian Values will come when conservatives again hold the reins of power. Only then will straight people regain the Freedom to screw in public restrooms with impunity. Praise Him!

Black widow

First off, I extend my condolences to the family of Tim Russert. His sudden death isn't something I would wish on any member of the liberal media except Katie Couric, and his passing is an urgent reminder to all Americans to get right with God before they meet their Maker, something they can do by voting a straight Republican ticket this November.

Secondly, does anyone else find it odd that less than two weeks after we learn about the Clintons' enemies list, one of the chief malefactors "passes away" under a cloud of mysterious circumstances? They certainly don't at Free Republic:

† Many people always felt that Tim Russert was ready to take on the Clintons if he had too... He knew about the Juanita Broaddrick story (actually watched the 5 hour interview) and told people later that he felt like he was going to throw up. During debates he brought up the Clinton Library and questioned the bizarre pardons made by Bill Clinton in front of a national audience... Early in the election during a Clinton campaign conference call with several journalist on the call, a Clinton surrogate made sure to say that Russet should be shot... Basically, the Clintons always knew that Russert would be a problem for them.

† "Things happen in June...," Hillary Rodham Clinton

† Hillary’s revenge. She executed her payback for him asking that question about the (then) New York governor’s (what was his name again?) law for drivers licenses for illegals.

† Was this Arkancide? Remember it was Russert who personally derailed Hillary’s Oval Office Express with his super-tough interrogation of Clinton about her position on the Spitzer drivers license policy. I saw a graph somewhere that showed a total collapse in her polls from that very date. HRC does have a lot of time on her hands now.

I applaud these intrepid Patriots for speaking out, and pray that their courage doesn't consign them to a similar fate as Mr. Russert. In a just world, their bold declarations will percolate through the blogosphere and ultimately surface as accusations of sinister alterations on his death certificate, or perhaps as an email chain letter. Only then will the cause of Justice be served. Praise Him!

Lynndie 500

Christians, check out my salute to budding conservative media critic(!)Lynndie England(!) over at American Street. Praise Him!

Straight Talk, part 2

Not only will the liberal media stop at nothing to besmirch the character of morally upstanding conservatives like Jack Abramoff and Tom DeLay, they'll even slime putative ones like John McCain. While Barack Hussein Obama gets a free pass on his homosexuality and cannibalism, Senator McCain gets waterboarded by the New York Times for being heterosexual:

In interviews, the two former associates said they joined in a series of confrontations with Mr. McCain, warning him that he was risking his campaign and career. Both said Mr. McCain acknowledged behaving inappropriately and pledged to keep his distance from Ms. Iseman. The two associates, who said they had become disillusioned with the senator, spoke independently of each other and provided details that were corroborated by others.

Separately, a top McCain aide met with Ms. Iseman at Union Station in Washington to ask her to stay away from the senator. John Weaver, a former top strategist and now an informal campaign adviser, said in an e-mail message that he arranged the meeting after “a discussion among the campaign leadership” about her.

Evidently the novelty of a straight person running for president so blinded our intrepid reporters at the NYT that they missed the real meat of this story: at least this mistress is white. Given the number of racially mixed children he's fathered over the years, Senator McCain has finally learned from his mistakes and is sticking to mating with caucasian women. It's an inspiring tale of personal redemption that doesn't jibe with MSM's radical homosexual narrative, so obviously that bit ended up on the cutting room floor. It's shoddy, agenda-driven "journalism" like this that convinces me yet again that Fox News remains Our Nation's lone outpost of reliable reporting. Praise Him!

Drive-by media strikes again

MSM has issued yet another broadside against Christianity in Our Nation, showing once again that Christians remain America's most Persecuted minority. The latest attack on people of Faith comes from the "Christian" Science Monitor's Ariel Sabar, who claims that there has been too much discussion of religion in the primaries:

Presidential candidates of both parties have talked more openly about their religious beliefs this year than in elections past, lifting a window on some of the values that could shape their decisions in the Oval Office. But the political benefits of such candor are not always clear in a country where most Republicans and Democrats believe in separation of church and state. ...

Recent surveys of voters have found that beyond a basic perception that a presidential candidate has faith, "there isn't necessarily any particular benefit," Mr. Keeter said in a phone interview. "Indeed, there could potentially be a downside, with more secular people reacting negatively to what they see as excessive displays of faith" calculated for political gain.

I'm touched by their concern for the feelings of atheists and other hellbound constituencies, but these monsters have been allowed to dominate the national conversation on Faith for too long. If there's any problem that's genuinely newsworthy, it's that there isn't enough coverage of Christianity, either from the campaign trail, or from any of the other fora from which MSM reports. While apparitions of Our Heavenly Queen on toasted cheese sandwiches and other delicious foodstuffs go largely ignored, "global warming" and other liberal bugbears dominate the headlines.

This is similar to the complaint lodged by the moonbats that there's too much focus on meaningless stories like hairdos and frown lines. If MSM were truly interested in fulfilling its role as public watchdog, they'd be giving us more of both of these types of stories. America needs to know if the man they elected president spends most of his time (or her time, now that I think about it) bowing towards Mecca and praying that those 72 virgins Allah has promised are hot babes like Ann Coulter. Likewise, if John Edwards' first impulse in a crisis is to give each side of his head 80 strokes with his trusty brush, this should be front page news. How can Hillary realistically expect to use diplomacy to solve the problems her husband's administration created in Iraq when she looks like an old crone? MSM clearly has no interest in covering the stories that are of vast importance to rank and file voters like you and me, so I applaud our Citizen Journalists who have taken up their slack. Praise Him!

Interstellar overthrow

When you wish upon a star...

Astronomers are frequent accomplices of the Darwinists. Their Big Bang theory sets the perfect timeframe for that scientific fairy tale better known as Evolution, obscuring what would otherwise be the well-known fact that the earth was actually created on October 23, 4004 B.C., some time shortly after lunch. The damage astronomers have done to Freedom is incalculable, and the fact that MSM willingly runs their daily horoscopes in their newspapers shows how tightly interwoven this conspiracy against Christianity truly is.

If those were the only enemies of Our Nation the astronomers were consorting with. Jesus & I were taken aback by a very bright star this morning as we headed out to protest the gym, and wouldn't you know it, it's another step towards sharia:

YOU'VE SIMPLY got to look out the window at 6 a.m. Sure you'd rather sleep, but this one's worth setting the alarm for. You'll see the best Morning Star of this young millennium, the best conjunction of the year, and it's simply not going to hang there forever.

Venus has now swung to the edge of its orbit while at the same time attaining greatest brilliancy. Translation: This dazzling UFO rises not near dawn, its usual M.O. At six, when twilight is still dim, it stands fully 30 degrees high, enough to clear trees and hills. For many people, a peek out the east-facing window is enough to do the trick.

This Sunday, October 7, Venus meets the crescent moon in a display so glorious, an earlier conjunction of this kind inspired the symbol of the religion of Islam. It therefore appears on the flags of a dozen nations. That same morning, two lesser stars hover like fireflies around the two big luminaries. The blue one is Regulus, the alpha star of Leo. The other, slightly yellowish, is Saturn. If you'd like the full treatment and want to see this fine four-way conjunction, set the alarm a bit earlier, to 5:30 a.m., so that the background sky is fully black.

Sweet Jesus, raise the threat level to red! How many more "Religions" "of" "Peace" will this little stunt inspire to murderous heights of 9/11? The fact that anyone would draw attention to this dangerous phenomenon and help recruit a million more jihadis shows that they are on the side of the terrorists. And they wonder why we question their Patriotism? It's high time the American public woke up to this dangerous ruse the liberal media, the astronomers, and the Muslims have going on, before it's too late. Praise Him!

According to our friends in the liberal media, the American workplace is becoming more accomodating to people of Faith. Unfortunately for Our Nation, though, most of these people aren't Christians:

The case of the driver with the beard, is part of a lawsuit filed against United Parcel Service by the EEOC in March on behalf of a Rastafarian named Ronnis Mason who was not hired by UPS because of his beard.

"Mason wears his beard as part of his observance of Rastafarianism, a Jamaican-born religion with around one million adherents in the world," an EEOC statements details. "Mason explained to UPS that he could not shave his beard, and UPS told him that he could then only apply for an "inside," lower-paying position that would not have contact with the public."

I have no idea what this Rastafarianism business is, but no doubt its apologists will claim it's another one of those "religions" "of" "peace," much like radical Islam. Its Jamaican roots instantly put it under a cloud of suspicion, as Jamaica's leading export is homosexual dog groomers. It's probably just a matter of time before UPS' formerly Christian work ethic is compromised beyond recognition by these poodle-clipping nancies.

Unfortunately, this isn't the only death cult out to destroy capitalism by clamoring for special treatment in the workplace:

Asking for prayer time at work is also one type of religious accommodation legal experts say is on the rise. In one particular case that is still ongoing, a group of Muslim workers at a Swift & Co. meatpacking plant were denied a request for time to pray at sunset.

“We think a 10 minute break is a reasonable accommodation,” say the attorney for the workers, Rima Kapitan, who works for the Counsel on American-Islamic relations, because it would not disrupt the factory line.

I haven't seen a more deluded September 10th way of thinking since MoveOn.org's General Betray-Us ad. America needs to get serious about the threat militant Islam presents to the processed meat industry; these 10 minute prayer breaks are invitations for the unspeakable.

Despite all the fanfare about the growing "tolerance" of religion, the sad truth of the matter is that America's Christians remain the most oppressed minority the world has ever seen. Just look at the recent actions of the the Supreme Court:

The Supreme Court opened its new term Monday refusing to get involved in two church-state disputes — one over religious organizations paying for workers' birth-control health insurance benefits, the other over an evangelical group's plea to hold religious services at a public library.

The birth-control benefits dispute was triggered by a New York state law that forces religious-based social service agencies to subsidize contraceptives as part of prescription drug coverage they offer employees.

I've long since written off America's libraries as nothing more than bottomless fonts of porn, be it of the print, online, or feltboard variety,so that's little more than insult to injury at this point. I am Outraged, however, at religious organizations being forced to provide harlot pills for their female employees. A dirty little secret that feminists don't want you to know is that many women take birth control pills recreationally with the intent of regulating their monthly Curse of Eve. Well, ladies, God is in charge of that Sinful uterus, as the occasional bit of spotting gently reminds you, and the Supreme Court is doing you no favors by reinforcing these delusions. Disgraceful.

****

Lastly, in the everything I need to know was written by the 17th century department: This rightfully deserves its own post, but it's late and I've had a hard day of Christian Persecution at the Beauty Palace. Mark your calendars to celebrate the real Earth Day:

How old is the world?

Most people would say: "Nobody knows."

But the author of the book frequently described as the greatest history book ever written, said the world was created Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. – making it exactly 6,009 last Monday.

In the 1650s, an Anglican bishop named James Ussher published his "Annals of the World," subtitled, "The Origin of Time, and Continued to the Beginning of the Emperor Vespasian's Reign and the Total Destruction and Abolition of the Temple and Commonwealth of the Jews." First published in Latin, it consisted of more than 1,600 pages.

The book, now published in English for the first time, is a favorite of homeschoolers and those who take ancient history seriously. It's the history of the world from the Garden of Eden to the fall of Jerusalem in AD 70.

If this article's no-hold barred approach to time (yesterday was September 30th by my calendar and 4004 BC to 2007 AD is 6011 years, but maybe that's another example of time's pronounced liberal bias) is any indication of the level of scholarship contained within this book, I'm sure it's quite a read. Praise Him!

Attempted coup: Minneapolis

Larry Craig wants you to know that he is totally 100 percent crazy for teh pussy.

Take heart, those of you who fear that radical homosexual activists were able to recruit a sitting member of the United States Senate into their perverted lifestyle. Larry Craig has gone on the record, emphatically stating that penis will never touch his thin, reptilian lips:

Sen. Larry Craig, the Idaho Republican who pleaded guilty earlier this month to disorderly conduct after his arrest earlier this month on suspicion of lewd behavior in a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport bathroom, issued a statement today saying he was innocent.

"I am not gay," he said twice during a 10-minute statement. "I did nothing wrong at the Minneapolis airport and I regret the decision to plead guilty."

Deliberately obscured by The Left's predictable cries of "hypocrisy" in this tragedy is one key fact: Liberals would never have been able to nearly seduce him into this debased life of Pottery Barn shopping and tearoom sex were it not for the infernal gayifying powers of the MSM.

Craig said he "overreacted" to the arrest by not consulting with counsel or family, in hopes of "making it go away." And he blamed his state of mind on the Idaho Statesman, the state's leading newspaper, which he said for eight months had "relentlessly and viciously harassed" him and his family. "Let me be clear," he said. "I am not gay and never have been."

In an editorial this morning, the Statesman called on Craig, who has been in Washington for 27 years, to "speak candidly with the people who have hired him for more than a quarter of a century." A headline on the front page read, "Men's room arrest reopens questions about Sen. Larry Craig," and the article included his denials in a 1982 congressional page scandal. Calling the paper's campaign "a witch hunt," Craig said the paper's investigation had fueled unfounded rumors in Idaho about his sexual orientation.

This is sexual abuse of the worst sort -- liberals, feminists, and other members of the professional victim caste, where is your Outrage? Call the most ardent heterosexual a homo long enough and eventually he succumbs to the label. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy, and one that seems to exclusively afflict Republicans. I only hope that noted lady's men David Dreier and Ken Mehlman share the same resolve as Senator Craig and can similarly avoid such a horrid fate. Praise Him!

Swift Boat Beauticians for Truth

Ask for us by name!

Chairman Hillary's crimes against Our Nation are legion: She killed her former trysting partners Vincent Foster, Ron Brown, and Paul Wellstone in cold blood, and so expertly disguised her handiwork that to this day there is no conclusive proof of her involvement. She parlayed a crooked deal from the backwaters of Arkansas into an attempted coup against America's insurance companies, the result of which would have been the reestablishment of World Communism. She turned formerly conservative heterosexual David Brock into a Marx-spouting florist hellbent on destroying America. She has sought to cheapen America's political discourse even further by flaunting her dirty pillows on CSPAN and campaigning as America's MILF candidate. But perhaps worst of all, she has calculatingly gone from hairdo to hairdo in a pathetic attempt to curry favor with the DemocRATS' special interest groups, a flagrant abuse of the sacred arts of Cosmetology that I simply will not countenance.

Unbelievably, this is only half the story. "But wait," you must be thinking, "how many crimes is one person capable of committing?" Sadly, when you're evil incarnate and abetted by the liberal media, the answer is: plenty.

Evoking the Vietnam Navy veterans who helped sink Sen. John Kerry's presidential bid in 2004, a newly formed foundation has launched a campaign to "Truth Boat" Sen. Hillary Clinton, claiming the mainstream media have protected her from incontrovertible evidence of illegal conduct.

Wall Street whistleblower Jim Nesfield's Equal Justice Foundation features Peter Franklin Paul's fraud suit against the Clintons and the accompanying allegations against the New York senator.

"It's the No. 1 civil case in the country exposing an unprecedented array of frauds and obstruction of justice by the Clintons that the media refuses to report," Nesfield told WND.

In a year-long effort coinciding with the presidential campaign, Nesfield will try to mobilize a consortium of bloggers to "crash through" what he calls "the information blockade" created by U.S. media. His aim, he says, is to "help educate the public about the facts of Hillary Clinton's misconduct as presented in Paul v. Clinton."

Judging by her record of clean getaways, there's really little doubt that Chairman Hillary and her jackals will snow the legal system into letting her off scot-free yet again. Already they've maligned the character of Mr. Paul, depicting him as an inveterate criminal, when what's closer to the truth is that the Clintons have probably been framing him since the late 1970s. Actually, the real question is whether we'll be hearing about this during the four (or -- God help us -- eight) years of an inevitable Hillary presidency. Clearly my Prayer Warriors will not be silenced. We can only hope MSM returns to its sense of responsibility and shows a similar sense of duty to Our Nation. Praise Him!

Eggplants of Evil

Liberals have been using the vegetable kingdom to lead us Christians out of our churches and into the waiting arms of the Occult for centuries now, even going so far as to tempt us with finding "Heaven in a wild flower." I hate to rain on your patchouli-scented parade, hippies, but the only place where you're going to find the way to Heaven is in The Bible. Given the adversarial relationship between the natural world and Our Faith, I view the following story not with the sense of vindication you might expect, but rather with utter trepidation:

Felicia Teske of Boothwyn says she was preparing fried eggplant for dinner Sunday evening and noticed that the seeds in one slice seemed to spell out the word "GOD".

Felicia says she bought the eggplant at a roadside produce stand a while back, and also says the discovery has really given her food for thought. Felicia told Action News that she recently had family members pass away and it is comforting that "GOD" appeared.

A little known fact that the MSM outfit reporting this story won't tell you is that eggplants are well-regarded accessories to the homosexual lifestyle. What meeting of radical homosexual activists would be complete without smoked Japanese eggplant & goat cheese canapés? Think about it: Have you ever seen a straight person buy an eggplant? I think not. This is clearly Satan's trickery, and countless millions of earnest Christians who read this story will be deceived into eating eggplant under the mistaken impression that it will bring them closer to our Savior, rather than being the path to Moral ruination that it truly is. Had The Lord really wanted to appear to His followers, He would have shown up in some hearty American fare like a side of beef or a 22-piece bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, not some wussified vegetarian dish. Praise Him!

Briefly

There are many things getting my goat today, Christians. Because I fear my absence from blogging may have pushed America even further into the Moral abyss (as well as setting back the military campaign in Iraq by at least six months), I'm going to combine three shots of Outrage into one, so be sure to designate a driver.

† Perhaps displaying the natural affinity between radical homosexual activists and Old Europe, the lexicon of man-on-man buttsex is rife with perverted expressions such as "French Active" and "Greek Passive." Into this horrifying patois comes yet another semen-tinged phrase from our European "allies": Dutch Insertive

Dutch embassies will investigate homosexual rights in all of its 36 "partner countries" receiving foreign aid, and pressure many of those nations to decriminalise homosexual behaviour under a plan supported by the Netherlands Ministry for Foreign Affairs.

The Dutch journal, Volkskrant, reports that Bert Koenders, Minister for Development Cooperation, has launched the inquiry, which will require embassy officials to investigate not only the legal status of homosexuality, but also the level of social acceptance of homosexuality and how possibly to increase that acceptance in the populace.

Dutch embassies will lobby governments in countries outlawing homosexual behaviour to scrap anti-homosexual legislation. Of the Netherlands 36 partner countries, 18 penalise homosexual acts in some way and 3 others permit the death penalty.

Outrageous, but hardly surprising -- after all, need I remind anybody that Muslims live in the Netherlands? I tip my hat to our Dutch friends, who've managed to achieve that delicate balance of importing Sharia and exporting sodomy that liberals have been seeking for years.

† MSM spins for The Left -- again. Because the liberal media wants your sons and daughters to grow into homosexuals and man-hungry tramps, respectively, they'll rarely let things like facts get in the way, particularly if it means they can badmouth abstinence-only education. MSMBS shows us how it's done:

In high-income countries, programs that encourage abstinence from sex as the only method of preventing HIV infection are not effective in achieving this goal, findings from a review of trial data suggest. ...

Compared with no program, safer sex programs, and various other control programs, the abstinence-only programs did not seem to reduce HIV risk. Specifically, abstinence-only programs did not influence the rate of unprotected vaginal sex, the number of sexual partners, condom use, or initiation of sexual activity.

Opposite effect

In one trial, there was evidence that abstinence-only programs may have had an adverse effect. Compared with a comparison group of young people who did not participate in an HIV prevention program, abstinence-only programs were associated with a rise in sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. Still, the authors note that other trials did not show a significant link between abstinence-only programs and these outcomes

What I'm missing here is how this disproves the central tenet of abstinence-only education: If you have sex, you'll get AIDS and go to Hell. Why this remains so controversial is beyond me; it should be drummed into the head of every American from the age of 5 years onward.

† And finally, sweet vindication for the Rumsfeld doctrine! America's armed forces are getting an infusion of fresh blood -- or perhaps I should say fresh oil -- from some new recruits who aren't obese, borderline retarded, or criminals:

The U.S. Army quietly entered a new era earlier this summer when it sent the first armed ground robots into action in Iraq. ...

The three robots, which tote M249 rifles and are remotely controlled by a soldier through a terminal, have been in Iraq since April and are with the 3rd Infantry Division, 3rd Brigade.

After three years of development at the Armament Research, Development and Engineering Center at Picatinny Arsenal, N.J., the robots were formally approved for combat use in June. Their exact whereabouts and missions are classified, but Zecca could confirm that they have been used in reconnaissance tasks and street patrols.

And the best part of all is that we don't have to worry about them penning treasonous articles for The New Republic. Praise Him!

Feeding the Beast

Through a steady regimen of sex "education," music videos, and biased coverage of Iraq, The Left has turned the youth of Our Nation into an unwashed horde of America-hating vegetarian potheads, all of whom would prefer killing their unborn children rather than Islamic terrorists. Not content with ruining the Morals of this generation of young Americans, liberals have now set their sights on those of the people of Iraq, with expectedly disastrous consequences:

Pregnant Iraqi women who have been forced from their homes by worsening violence are obtaining illegal abortions because they are unable to get medical care for themselves and their unborn, according to a new report by a national humanitarian group. ...

Rape, theft and drug addiction have also become "commonplace" among the displaced, who live in government buildings, at relatives' homes, tents, or squat in abandoned homes or makeshift huts on empty land, according to the report, which was first noted on the Iraq news site Iraqslogger.com.

The number of "internally displaced persons" -- refugees who leave their homes but remain in the country -- has quadrupled since January, the group found. As of May 2007, 1,024,430 Iraqis have left their neighborhoods to live in safer regions, the group reported, with more than 400,000 people pouring out of the areas around Baghdad and Mosul, which have been plagued by sectarian violence and anti-U.S. attacks.

More than 1.8 million Iraqis have fled the country entirely, according to the United Nations.

They must be teaching evolution in those newly painted schools, because I don't know what else could cause this freshly liberated group to reject Freedom like this and throw up their purple fingers in despair. And I'm sure MSM's incessant negative reporting had some part in this, too, because no doubt these people would be a lot happier if ABC quit blubbering on about how miserable they are.

Naturally, the moonbats would like to cite this as additional proof that [cue violins!] Our President was wrong to invade Iraq, that the surge isn't working, that our continued presence in Iraq is only bringing continued misery to a population that's already had to endure it for generations, that we're further destabilizing an already unstable geopolitical situation, that we're only fomenting additional anti-American sentiment in the world, and any other "reality"-based talking points the liberal lunatic fringe can pull out of its much-traveled derriere. Naturally, they refuse to look at their own complicity in the floundering war effort, as I bet you dollars-to-donuts not a single one of these people has a magnetic yellow "I support the troops" ribbon anywhere on their car. And besides, Al Gore is fat. There's no reason we should give stories like this any credence, other than to note how destructive liberalism has been to the people of Iraq, and that we should Stay the Course. Praise Him!

Slander

If you were to believe the narrative put forward by the likes of Rosie O'Donnell, Katie Couric, and their Islamist homosexual allies in the liberal media, President Bush is the worst president Our Nation has ever had, Iraq is in tatters, global "warming" is upon us, and their hero Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11. While a steady diet of Fox News and WorldNetDaily has certainly served as a strong antidote for us conservative bloggers against these sorts of Unhinged attacks on Freedom, the same cannot be said for the newer generation of Americans. Filtering software and TimesSelect may keep the most damaging garbage on the internets out of the reach of Our Nation's children, but the all-pervasive Culture of Death these traitors are shilling has still managed to taint their beautiful minds. Imagine my sorrow to see that MSM has ruined Christianity for an entire generation:

Media Warped Young Conservatives' Views of Falwell

Young evangelicals came of age with George W. Bush as their president and the media as their caretaker. And when Jerry Falwell died last week, many didn’t really get it.

One young conservative in Michigan confused the Rev. Dr. Jerry Falwell with Fred Phelps, the Kansas pastor who pickets soldiers’ funerals, and wondered whether his death was a good thing.

Another young conservative, this one in Washington, D.C., described him as an extreme fundamentalist who hurt the conservative movement.

This is an Outrage! Depicting Rev. Falwell as an intolerant bigot only undermines his noble legagy -- the political empowerment of other intolerant bigots. Surely Rev. Falwell wasn't the only Christian who saw a purse-toting cartoon character on his tv and was stricken with the horrible realization that Traditional Marriage was in the enemy's crosshairs, or that the travel agent for the 9/11 hijackers was probably some dyke at the National Organization for Women. Millions of Americans have drawn similar and equally insightful conclusions, and thanks to the efforts of Rev. Falwell, these people now vote. So thank you, Rev. Falwell, for helping to steer this deeply informed segment of the citizenry into the polls. Our Nation will be reaping the benefits for years to come. Praise Him!

You can't spell heinous without anus*

Since 9/11, America has weathered a number of terrorist plots, each one more audacious than the last. While I have stood firm in my Belief that America can withstand whatever The Left can dish out (Bring it on, in the steely words of Our President), that was when they were attacking America head-on. Now I learn that they are attacking us from behind:

While somebody might make a comment at a party, say, about oral sex, or some other aspect of their sex lives, few are yet willing to openly discuss anal sex. Certainly, there is almost no formal education on the topic. [Thank Heavens!] And yet the practice and interest in it appear to be growing.

“There has been a huge shift,” Taormino says.

Statistics bear this out. According to results of a federal study released two years ago, 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women surveyed in 2002 said they have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. An earlier study published in 1994 showed that among heterosexuals, 26 percent of men and 20 percent of women had ever engaged in anal sex. And if anecdotes by experts are to be believed, the numbers have boomed in the last few years.

I don't know what's more appalling -- the fact that MSM chose to keep Americans in the dark about the gathering storm by hiding this story in the rarely trafficked "Health" section, or this unspeakably wicked practice itself. Sadly, that's just the beginning of liberal media's treasonous conduct in this matter. When a good Catholic like Bill Donohue predicted that Hollywood & the Jews would deliver this calamity upon Our Nation, he was derided as some sort of crazy anti-Semite. But when Al Gore starts blathering on with that whole "global warming" trip, he's some great prophet. Well, MSM, Donohue has been proven right, much like Gore will be proven wrong. And believe me, if more people knew about this, they'd be clamoring to have martial law imposed and the threat level raised to red.

My first instinct was that the numbers of anal sex practitioners would line up pretty squarely with Democratic Party identification. While the data doesn't completely bear that out, we can attribute the ascendant popularity of entering via the tradesman's entrance to the two most popular hobbies of liberals, pornography & homosexuality:

The first and most obvious reason is the influence of porn, which is always trying to come up with new ways to titillate and to be naughtier. “Anal sex did not used to be de rigeur in porn and now it pretty much is even for mainstream porn,” explains Constance Penley, a film studies professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara. ...

In fact, Schoen and Taormino both believe that as gay culture has become more acceptable, especially among a younger generation, traditionally gay practices, like anal sex, are becoming more common in the rest of society.

For example, a Houston-based company called High Island Health began life 10 years ago as makers of a medical device to ease symptoms of prostatitis, or inflammation of the prostate gland. The device is inserted into a man's anus to put pressure on the prostate, offering relief.

I can't recall hearing anything about womenfolk having prostates in my virginity-reclamation class. I don't think I like where this is going...

Taormino hears the same type of comments. “The rise of men being vocal and open about fact that ‘I am straight and I enjoy anal on the receiving end,’ that is a huge trend. There are videos like ‘Bend Over Boyfriend.’ And I get dozens of letters per day from men asking questions like where can I find a woman” who will perform anal sex?

Not even the glass-grinding dentata of Chairman Hillary & Ayatollah Pelosi could compromise American masculinity half this much. Osama would like nothing more than for our fathers, brothers, and sons be turned into insatiable power-bottoms. In fact, I dare say it represents his ultimate victory. Only a full-scale invasion of another Middle Eastern country can reclaim the diminished American Manhood. How does Iran work for everyone? Praise Him!

*Spellchecker is clearly in league with the terrorists.