You can't spell heinous without anus*

Since 9/11, America has weathered a number of terrorist plots, each one more audacious than the last. While I have stood firm in my Belief that America can withstand whatever The Left can dish out (Bring it on, in the steely words of Our President), that was when they were attacking America head-on. Now I learn that they are attacking us from behind:

While somebody might make a comment at a party, say, about oral sex, or some other aspect of their sex lives, few are yet willing to openly discuss anal sex. Certainly, there is almost no formal education on the topic. [Thank Heavens!] And yet the practice and interest in it appear to be growing.

“There has been a huge shift,” Taormino says.

Statistics bear this out. According to results of a federal study released two years ago, 40 percent of men and 35 percent of women surveyed in 2002 said they have had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner. An earlier study published in 1994 showed that among heterosexuals, 26 percent of men and 20 percent of women had ever engaged in anal sex. And if anecdotes by experts are to be believed, the numbers have boomed in the last few years.

I don't know what's more appalling -- the fact that MSM chose to keep Americans in the dark about the gathering storm by hiding this story in the rarely trafficked "Health" section, or this unspeakably wicked practice itself. Sadly, that's just the beginning of liberal media's treasonous conduct in this matter. When a good Catholic like Bill Donohue predicted that Hollywood & the Jews would deliver this calamity upon Our Nation, he was derided as some sort of crazy anti-Semite. But when Al Gore starts blathering on with that whole "global warming" trip, he's some great prophet. Well, MSM, Donohue has been proven right, much like Gore will be proven wrong. And believe me, if more people knew about this, they'd be clamoring to have martial law imposed and the threat level raised to red.

My first instinct was that the numbers of anal sex practitioners would line up pretty squarely with Democratic Party identification. While the data doesn't completely bear that out, we can attribute the ascendant popularity of entering via the tradesman's entrance to the two most popular hobbies of liberals, pornography & homosexuality:

The first and most obvious reason is the influence of porn, which is always trying to come up with new ways to titillate and to be naughtier. “Anal sex did not used to be de rigeur in porn and now it pretty much is even for mainstream porn,” explains Constance Penley, a film studies professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara. ...

In fact, Schoen and Taormino both believe that as gay culture has become more acceptable, especially among a younger generation, traditionally gay practices, like anal sex, are becoming more common in the rest of society.

For example, a Houston-based company called High Island Health began life 10 years ago as makers of a medical device to ease symptoms of prostatitis, or inflammation of the prostate gland. The device is inserted into a man's anus to put pressure on the prostate, offering relief.

I can't recall hearing anything about womenfolk having prostates in my virginity-reclamation class. I don't think I like where this is going...

Taormino hears the same type of comments. “The rise of men being vocal and open about fact that ‘I am straight and I enjoy anal on the receiving end,’ that is a huge trend. There are videos like ‘Bend Over Boyfriend.’ And I get dozens of letters per day from men asking questions like where can I find a woman” who will perform anal sex?

Not even the glass-grinding dentata of Chairman Hillary & Ayatollah Pelosi could compromise American masculinity half this much. Osama would like nothing more than for our fathers, brothers, and sons be turned into insatiable power-bottoms. In fact, I dare say it represents his ultimate victory. Only a full-scale invasion of another Middle Eastern country can reclaim the diminished American Manhood. How does Iran work for everyone? Praise Him!

*Spellchecker is clearly in league with the terrorists.