Tears in our beers

Ever since Barack Hussein Obama was "elected" as the grand Caliph of Our Nation, Americans have had to find new ways to cope with the loss of our most precious Freedoms. While some Christians might find solace from Obama's despotism by boning a stripper in a South Carolina graveyard, sadly, one of the more prevalent methods has become problem drinking:

In a setting a tad less formal, with no president or national press on hand, the Harvard professor and the Cambridge cop at the heart of last summer’s White House “beer summit” met for a second round - this time, at a local pub.

Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley met for drinks Wednesday at River Gods, a popular River Street bar outside Central Square, not far from where their lives first intersected.

Sister Nancy Beth shares their despair, and while she doesn't approve of abusing alcohol to lessen the pain of living under the tyrannical regime of The One, it certainly does explain a lot, doesn't it?

Tragically, I can't help but think that this is part of The Left's master plan. Not only are they driving us to drink, but now they're making even more powerful consciousness-altering substances available. In a recent speech to America's school children, "President" Obama announced that "medical" marijuana would soon be dispensed from campus vending machines; he signed off his address by saying "Far out, man."

It is my fervent Prayer that America will once again embrace its Christian heritage and elect white people whose Values are uncompromised by the stain of drugs and alcohol, like George Bush & Dick Cheney. Only then can we hope to return to a position of preeminent Moral leadership in the world. Praise Him!

Dumbbell Peace Prize

As the International Olympic Committee's stinging rejection of Barack Hussein Obama's narcissistic plan to hold the 2016 Olympics in celebration of Himself plainly shows, the international community hates this strutting peacock The Left has imposed on us through tactics bordering on martial law. They hate his arrogance, they hate his vanity, and they especially hate his incessant race-baiting, all of which makes this most suspicious:

President Obama, who has pledged to place diplomacy ahead of confrontation and reached out to a skeptical world with offers of mutual understanding, was awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace today for what the Nobel committee called "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples."

It's abundantly clear what's going on, and I'm a little surprised my fellow conservatives have been so slow to cotton on to what's happened: ACORN has falsely registered Nobel committee members who rigged the election in favor of The One, and now the liberal media is covering it up. Christians, demand a recount so that Sarah Palin can claim what is rightfully hers. Praise Him!

The Academy in Pearls

First they beat you up, then they violate your cornholes.

While I tend to think of myself, with good reason, as the most Persecuted Christian in America, a string of news stories leads me to believe that I need to share my sash & pageant crown with Our Nation's Christian Youth, or at least start a junior division. Not only have the tiniest Treasures of His Kingdom been seduced by Barack Hussein Obama into disrespecting their elders, having plenty of sex, and learning Arabic, but now I learn from my Prayer Warriors at OneNewsNow that The Left plans to subject them to a homosexual recruitment drive ten times more powerful than all three High School Musical movies combined:

The Illinois Family Institute is raising concern over a "safe schools" amendment in the U.S. Congress.

The Safe Schools Improvement Act (H.R. 2262) would ammend the Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act to include bullying and harrasment prevention programs. Laurie Higgins of the Illinois Family Institute says this is one of the central ways to get pro-homosexual information and resources into public schools....

Higgins notes that Kevin Jennings, founder of the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), is currently head of the Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools in the U.S. Department of Education and supports the bill. GLSEN has been described by one pro-family leader as a "child corruption" organization that consistently promotes books that legitimize sexual encounters between adults and minors.

This is an Outrage! Preventing kids from calling other kids "fags" is an abridgement of their rights under the First, and probably Second and Third, Amendments. It also neglects the many important character-building aspects bullying has to offer, like enhancing the self-esteem of the bully. After all, it's what made America great! Just imagine where we'd be if Nancy Pelosi or some other castrating shrew from The Sisterhood said Uncle Sam couldn't pick on gay little countries like Cuba or Guam anymore. Well, I'll tell you where: Canada ... and you know what that means. Christians, please contact your legislators to preserve the right of all children (except white ones) to be subjected to schoolplace violence. Praise Him!

From ACORNs mighty harlots grow

ACORN, which is short for Anti-Christian Organization of Racist Negroes, has a long and sordid past of trying to subvert Freedom in Our Nation. Their fascist endeavors include agitating for "living wage" ordinances, registering black people(!) to vote(!!), and trying to prevent foreclosures for low-income people, much like the Brownshirts of Nazi Germany did during the reign of Adolph Hitler. But, as a new report from my Prayer Warriors WorldNetDaily shows, these activities are merely fig leaves behind which they hide their true agenda -- opening brothels in your neighborhood and stocking them with nubile Christian ladies:

The community organizing group ACORN is once again at the center of controversy, this time with the release of a videotape showing two employees helping a man posing as a pimp and a woman pretending to be prostitute set up a brothel and deceive the IRS by claiming underage girls from South America as dependents.

The tape, along with a transcript, was released by a new political blog launched today by Andrew Breitbart, BigGovernment.com. ...

President Obama headed an ACORN vote registration project in the 1990s and represented the group in a legal case in which ACORN pressed Citibank to loan more money to marginally qualified applicants.

Barack Hussein Obama's involvement in this is chilling: How many whorehouses did he open while working as a community organizer in Chicago? Is the purpose of his FEMA re-education camps really to be outsized skankfarms where me & my pretty white ladyfriends get sent to service sex tourists from Dubai, and Hillary Clinton? Will this venture be funded, in part or full, by taxes levied to pay for The Left's socialized medicine program? These are all important questions that demand to be asked, ideally by Sarah Palin on her Facebook page. Praise Him!

Friday Random Ten: Ayatollah Pelosi Edition

I haven't done one of these in a while, but after learning that Madame Speaker has once again shown her hatred for The Troops by replacing her patriotic Muzak with Jane Fonda singing The Internationale, I was moved to see what ditties the oracular iTunes would have me listen to. Hey, San Fran Nan, SUCK. ON. THIS.:

Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 - Hurricane
Joy Division - Atmosphere
Gram Parsons - How Much I've Lied
Bert Jansch - Katie Cruel
Monade - La Carotte De L'humanite
Lee Ranaldo - Scriptures Of The Golden Eternity #3
Sally Timms - Homburg
Dump - How Many Bells?
Gate - New York 1
Aidan Baker & Tim Hecker - Gallery Of The Invisible Woman

Praise Him!

Dairy Queens

Our Heavenly Father intended for us to fill our mouths with the Glorious foostuffs of His Creation, not dicks, and as the many heated conversations I've had with the checkers at my local grocery store can attest, the line between that which is Holy and those which take Satan's guise is unequivocal. Nothing exalts the Holy Spirit more than dairy products, which is why it is especially horrifying to learn that the evildoers at Ben & Jerry's are using ice cream to promote the radical homosexual agenda:

An ice cream company is celebrating homosexual "marriage" in Vermont (see related article).

Same-gender marriage is now legal in The Green Mountain State, and Ben & Jerry's has announced that it will temporarily change its "Chubby Hubby" ice cream to "Hubby Hubby" in honor of homosexual marriage. Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth about Homosexuality tells OneNewsNow that companies like Ben & Jerry's neglect to talk about the dangers of the lifestyle.

"Besides the health aspects, there's also the fact that homosexual behavior is opposed by God, and that's something that we should take seriously," he contends. "All homosexual behavior is sinful, and regardless of what liberals say or what Ben & Jerry's puts on a tub of ice cream, that remains the case."

Appalling! Here I thought I could be secure in the knowledge that a steady diet of ice cream would ensure my health & well-being, but now I find out it's actually easing me on down the road of the homosexual lifestyle.

What will be the next item in your grocer's freezer to become a food of Dorothy? Already, many flavors of yogurt sport suspicious pastel hues, and Velveeta, that steady kitchen workhorse of Christian Womanhood's most celebrated casseroles, has acquired "camp" appeal. If the Sanctity of the four food groups is to be preserved, it is imperative that all comestibles of dubious sexual orientation be sent to ex-"gay" ministries for rehabilitation. Praise Him!

No such thing as a free lunch, etc.

Fight the real enemy.

As a Christian living under the despotic regime of Barack Hussein Obama, I've gotten quite a taste of what life was like for the Jews of Nazi Germany. Whether it's denying us our right to breathe polluted air or expanding health insurance coverage to shiftless layabouts, the legislative aims of this administration are just like Hitler's. And when I thought we couldn't possibly be any more Persecuted by The Left, I learn they're now robbing our children of that most precious Freedom: the right to widen their already fat asses:

When Michelle Obama and her fifth-grade partners harvested lettuce and peas in the White House garden this spring, she made a point of saying that American children are "not eating right and not moving their bodies at all," and she cited what they eat in school as part of the problem.

On just about every schoolyard, the nation's obesity problem is apparent: A fifth of U.S. children are overweight or obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. ...

One portion of the bill would give the Department of Agriculture authority to update decades-old standards for the food children buy at school stores and vending machines, as well as foods such as pizza and French fries that are sold a la carte in cafeterias.

This is an Outrage of the highest order. Without question, the intent of this bill is to indoctrinate public school children with the sinister hidden agenda of risotto, arugula, and Dijon mustard. I am referring, of course, to the unspeakable perversions of the homosexual lifestyle. After all, in the mind of The Left, why give a child a hamburger if you could give him almond biscotti and a sex change instead?

Christians, in light of the menace being served up daily on your child's cafeteria tray, it's imperative that we fight childhood nutrition programs with the same vigor we are opposing health care reform. Bring your anger, bring your airhorns, bring your firearms to those townhalls. Our failure to do so can only result in that homosexual holocaust otherwise known as endive stuffed with goat cheese and prosciutto-wrapped muskmelon served as appetizers before dinner. And would somebody please tell Sarah Palin? Praise Him!