Locks & the Social Contract

For centuries, Our Heavenly Father Blessed Our Nation for adhering to traditional Christians values in personal grooming with prosperity and military victories over the evil-doers, unlike the French, whose women's unshorn pits have resulted in countless military losses. This all changed when Bill & Hillary C. ushered in "The Sixties," in which the radical deviation from Judeo-Christian standards of hygiene led to our defeat at the cameltoes of Jane Fonda and her leotard-clad Viet Cong insurgents.

This malaise isn't limited to the battlefield. As liberals convince ladies to spend less time exalting Our Creator with hairstyles in keeping with Christian Womanhood, our businesses, except for brief periods under the Reagan and Bush II presidencies, have lost their competitive edge. The latest example of this is taking place at BP, where The Left is kneecapping this upstanding global citizen with politically correct hairdos:

A black woman says she was fired from British Petroleum (BP) for wearing a dashiki and for wearing her hair in braids.

Melphine Evans was a vice president and CFO for two BP ofshoots. Now, she is suing those companies and nine individuals, saying she was told that how she dressed was only appropriate “during ‘culture day,’ black history month or special diversity events/days,” and that it was making her colleagues “uncomfortable.” ...

Still, in her 24-page lawsuit filed with the Orange County Superior Court this week, Evans says that her supervisor told her, “‘You intimidate and make your colleagues uncomfortable by wearing ethnic clothing and ethnic hairstyles,” according to Courthouse News. Her so-called “ethnic hairstyles” were braids or twists, common ways for an African American woman to wear her hair.

“If you are going to wear ethnic clothing, you should alert people in advance that you will be wearing something ethnic,” Evans says she was told.

As someone who lives in constant fear of hoodies-clad hooligans wielding fun-packs of Skittles, I understand this supervisor's defensiveness. When will black people realize that they could have ended racism long ago if they quit insisting on making white folk uncomfortable?

Aside from the detrimental effects this woman's braids had on capitalism, I can't help but wonder how they may have led to the Deepwater Horizon oil spill of 2010. Who's to say that her coworkers weren't so threatened by her menacing weave and bold tribal prints that they couldn't adequately perform the functions of their job? Liberals love to blame the petroleum industry for these sorts of environmental catastrophes, but the truth of the matter is that their nihilistic denigration of the Canonical hairstyles of Nancy Reagan and Sarah Palin is what's causing the world's ecological woes. Only by returning to the Values reflected in the tresses of our foremothers can we hope to return Our Nation to its former Glory. Praise Him!

Still Negroid After All These Years

Thus spake Mama Grizzly:

The half-term Alaska governor replied: “I thought so in 2008 and that’s why I went rogue, if you will, and disagreed with some of John McCain’s advisers when they said, no, a lot of these issues like past associations and Rev. Wright and Bill Ayers and those that helped shape Obama’s world view needed to be off the table and not discussed. I disagreed then, I disagree now.”

“Barack Obama in 2008 was an empty vessel,” she continued. “The public did not know who or what filled this vessel in order to create what has become a very confused and mission and visionless leader for our country. Well, now it’s not too late to change course and this next go around understand what has filled up that vessel. Who are these people? Who are the radicals, the Marxist professors that he said he would hang out with, some of his friends and associations.”

As you are well aware, lamestream media has subjected the secret relationship between Rev. Jeremiah Wright & the dark prince Barack Hussein to an unprecedented news blackout... with the exception of those two months of nonstop coverage between March and May 2008. In doing so, they are robbing Our Nation of the opportunity to fully understand the dangerously radical ideology that animates all "President" Obama's treasonous actions: he's black, by and large. Sadly, this is evident only to the keenest minds of our public conservative intellectuals, like Rush Limbaugh & Sarah Palin, but hopefully Mitt will follow the sage counsel of Governor Palin and subject this little understood phenomenon to some public scrutiny once and for all. Praise Him!

Whiter Shade of Pale

While the Republicans have my utmost Devotion for their tireless defense of Traditional Values, I am sometimes embarrassed by an apparent lack of basic scientific knowledge. Take, for instance, the recent comments by Rep. James Lankford (R-OK), who argues that homosexuality, unlike race, is a mutable trait:

Well, you’re now dealing with behavior and I’m trying to figure out exactly what you’re trying to mean by that. Because you’re dealing with — race and sexual preferences are two different things. One is a behavior-related and preference-related and one is something inherently — skin color, something obvious, that kind of stuff. You don’t walk up to someone on the street and look at them and say, “Gay or straight?”

What the good congressman is unaware of is that, thanks to important developments in the glamour technologies, being black is a choice as well. Skin bleaching ointments offer the promise of whiteness to anyone who is willing to do the hard work of repeated daily applications, whether they be African-"American" or heathen Chinee. America's racial tensions could be a thing of the past if those shiftless minorities would only get with the program.

Even more exciting is the promise that the skilled application of beauty products could have on reversing homosexuality, at least as it relates to the Evil practice of lesbianism (the gents are another story, as it seems to have the opposite effect). It's widely known that our Sapphic friends are to makeup as vampires are to sunlight, to get all PSAT on your asses. If only they were compelled to apply some lipstick and a little bit of blush, the boys might think they're pretty, and then they'd abandon their manly pursuits and have babies. It's outcomes like this that make me think that we should be teaching cosmetology in school, rather than liberal junk science like "biology" or "physics." But, given the liberal stranglehold on education, that's no more likely to happen than a Christian being elected president. Praise Him!

Paul-bearing

While I tended to find the fairy tales of my youth Morally objectionable on account of their deep anti-American bias and sinister homosexual implications, an image that has always stayed with me is the girl who had gold coins drop from her mouth whenever she spoke, probably because I think that would be helpful should we ever return to the gold standard.

I was reminded of this especially vividly this past week whenever Rand Paul addressed the lame-stream media. The mighty Teabags of Freedom finally have the telegenic spokesman who can attest to the importance of common-sense Conservative Values in restoring Our Nation to its former greatness almost as well as our great Earth Mother, Sarah Palin can. Future Senator Paul, if I may be so presumptuous to call him that, showed his deep compassion for minority populations by saying Senate Democrats have been denying our dusky-tinted citizens the Freedom not to be accomodated by private enterprise for decades now. Isn't it time our negroid friends began participating fully in this democratic experiment? Why are democrats such racists?

Naturally, The Left went into massive spin mode to try to contain the damage, and began trotting out their leading eggheads to discredit the message of Senator Paul before it gained too much traction:

"Rand Paul has this tendency to get in public or get on national cable shows and feel like he wants to give me a lecture on constitutional law," said Conway. "I'm the attorney general of Kentucky. He didn't go to law school. I did. I don't need a lecture on Constitutional law from Rand Paul or Sarah Palin."

How elitist! Sarah Palin's knowledge of the Constitution is exceeded only by her expertise in the energy field. I for one think Mr. Paul's career in opthalmology will give him special insight into constitutional law, much in the same way my career as a receptionist in a beauty parlor qualifies me for the Senate. If snooty libtards continue to denigrate Real Americans like us, they do so at their own peril. Remember November, Christians, and Prase Him!

From ACORNs mighty harlots grow

ACORN, which is short for Anti-Christian Organization of Racist Negroes, has a long and sordid past of trying to subvert Freedom in Our Nation. Their fascist endeavors include agitating for "living wage" ordinances, registering black people(!) to vote(!!), and trying to prevent foreclosures for low-income people, much like the Brownshirts of Nazi Germany did during the reign of Adolph Hitler. But, as a new report from my Prayer Warriors WorldNetDaily shows, these activities are merely fig leaves behind which they hide their true agenda -- opening brothels in your neighborhood and stocking them with nubile Christian ladies:

The community organizing group ACORN is once again at the center of controversy, this time with the release of a videotape showing two employees helping a man posing as a pimp and a woman pretending to be prostitute set up a brothel and deceive the IRS by claiming underage girls from South America as dependents.

The tape, along with a transcript, was released by a new political blog launched today by Andrew Breitbart, BigGovernment.com. ...

President Obama headed an ACORN vote registration project in the 1990s and represented the group in a legal case in which ACORN pressed Citibank to loan more money to marginally qualified applicants.

Barack Hussein Obama's involvement in this is chilling: How many whorehouses did he open while working as a community organizer in Chicago? Is the purpose of his FEMA re-education camps really to be outsized skankfarms where me & my pretty white ladyfriends get sent to service sex tourists from Dubai, and Hillary Clinton? Will this venture be funded, in part or full, by taxes levied to pay for The Left's socialized medicine program? These are all important questions that demand to be asked, ideally by Sarah Palin on her Facebook page. Praise Him!

The outer ring of the seventh circle of Hell

Why didn't Barack Hussein Obama just give that angry bitch he's married to a pull-tab from a soda can instead of a $30,000 ring? Because they hate America, that's why. Read all about it over at American Street. Praise Him!

Alms for the poor bankers

Like many of you, I'm aghast at the thought of the public checkbook being opened up to bail out those greedy swine who've brought Our Nation to the brink of economic collapse. 700 billion dollars could build upwards of 1700 bridges in Alaska, and as galling as it is that our Christian friends up north will probably have to do without these necessary updates to their infrastructure, what's more infuriating is that the saboteurs most responsible for precipitating this holocaust are walking away scot-free. I am referring, of course, to black people! My Prayer Warriors at World Net Daily explain:

While many pundits are pointing to corporate greed and a lack of government regulation as the cause for the American mortgage and financial crisis, some analysts are saying it wasn't too little government intervention that cased the mortgage meltdown, but too much, in the form of activists compelling the government to pressure Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae into unsound – though politically correct – lending practices. ...

In a nutshell, Liebowitz contends that the federal government over the last 20 years pushed the mortgage industry so hard to get minority homeownership up, that it undermined the country's financial foundation to achieve its goal.

As you are probably aware, minority communities have made out like bandits by gaming Our President's ownership society plan and are living the life of Riley. Meanwhile, vast swaths of the financial services sector are soon to join the sorrowful ranks of the second-homeless.

Indeed, the warning signs were there all along. Liberal media has long tried to suppress this story, but when former Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo would endorse his 121.5 million dollar paychecks, he would hastily write notes to the bank teller on the back: "Help! Black folks are making me do this -- tell the guard!" Similarly, IndyMac's Michael Perry was kidnapped by a band of angry black militants and imprisoned for two months in a closet in Watts, where he was repeatedly beaten and sexually assaulted. It was only when he began parroting their rhetoric of fraudulent valuations and undocumented Alt-A mortgages for Whitey that they released him to do their bidding, and we know how that turned out.

Patriots, it is a Moral imperative that any bailout punish those most culpable for this horrendous turn of events and spare the innocent. While the action proposed by Our President is consistent with these Values, the Democrat Party is once again trying to turn this into a giant welfare bill to benefit the poor & the needy. It's time to stand up in solidarity with our persecuted brethren in the investment banking industry and give them the funds they so clearly deserve. Praise Him!

Oops

Guess who's been a lazy bitch lately... American Street entry from last Tuesday, here.

Public service announcement

I have resumed my posting duties over at American Street to remind the electorate that Barack Obama is still black. Praise Him!

White pearls, Black rage

While reputable journalists have spent the past week feverishly trying to avoid another 9/11 by deciphering the terrorist hand signals the Obamas flashed to the Muslim world, one aspect of their shameful displays of treason has been largely ignored: Michelle X Obama's questionable choice in jewelry. While there has been some discussion of her baubles of mass destruction, it's been largely relegated to the style section of the newspaper, further proof of MSM's complicity in abetting their Nubian Messiah's attempt to steal the White House. Rather than being a chic declaration of fashion independence, Ms. Obama's seditious necklace is further evidence of her deep hatred for white people and the latest gaffe that threatens to blow the cover off her hostility towards Our Nation, because those pearls are just as fake as her patriotism:

“Power pearls,” are what Jack Lynch, a wholesaler at Sea Hunt Pearls in San Francisco, Calif., calls the gobstopper-sized pearls that Michelle Obama favors. (The nickname comes from the big marble-sized candies also known as "jawbreakers.") Women who wear these mean business.

Gobstopper-sized pearls are favored by powerful women like Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and Senator Dianne Feinstein, says Betty Sue King, a wholesaler at King’s Ransom in Sausalito, Calif. The irony is that “power pearls” connote wealth and power, but the larger ones may actually be fakes! ...

Now we didn’t get up close and personal enough to bite the pearls to tell if they’re fake — if they’re fake they feel smooth, if they’re real they feel gritty — but fashion watchers are speculating that they are indeed of the faux variety. “They’re imitation!” says Alcindor. “I don’t think they’re real.” The Times and U.K.'s The Guardian agree. The Guardian theorizes that fake pearls let her evoke the Kennedy era “without detracting from the messages about her humble origins and feet-on-the-ground family life which play so well with voters.”

As a hard-working American, I find all this evocation of the Kennedy era (e.g. "Camelot with a tan") a bit hard to swallow, since the Kennedys were, at the very least, Christian, even if they didn't act like it. Also, they were born in America, or at least what used to be. Just what kind of bait-and-switch operation is The Left trying to pull here?

What's more troubling is that Ms. Obama's counterfeit pearls only amplify the sense of deception surrounding the Obama campaign, whether it's Barack Hussein's elusive birth certificate (finally revealed, here), or his trumpeting of anti-Semitism on his website. After all, it's only one small step from this: to this:
The Obamas and their supporters in the liberal media and blogosphere have been allowed to let this charade to go on long enough. It's time that we Christians take a more assertive roll and quit letting the Black Muslim Homosexual lobby walk all over us. I urge you to use the power of the internets to expose all the liberals' jewelry-based treacheries, whether it's missing flag lapel pins or these pearls practically strung by Mohammed himself. Only then can we hope to see Our Nation return to the Values and jewelry that made America great. Praise Him!

I put a spell on you

The 2008 election presents Our Nation with one very important question: Who hates America more -- Barack Hussein Obama, or his radical associates? Already we've made the unfortunate acquaintanceship of one "Reverend" Jeremiah Wright, whose idea of an American utopia would be a tribal headhunter society, and William "Bill" Ayers, the one man who's come closest to killing off American Capitalism since Franklin "Delano" Roosevelt. Just when you thought this drum circle of homos, hippies, and negroes couldn't get any larger, Prayer Warriors WorldNetDaily have unearthed the latest radical out to destroy God and Country hiding in the Obama camp:

In the same week the Obama campaign quietly removed from its official website a page managed by a fundraiser tied to the Islamic terrorist group Hamas, its official blogger has come under attack as a "hardcore Marxist" for hanging a Communist Party flag in his Harvard campus apartment and publishing in a self-professed 'revolutionary Marxist' journal.

Sam Graham-Felsen, a journalist-on-leave from The Nation, joined Obama for America in March 2007 where he works for the New Media department as the official blogger, daily presenting the campaign's public face. Now he's under fire for his reputed Marxist sympathies from bloggers at Common Ills on the left and Little Green Footballs on the right.

Graham-Felsen, according to a 2003 article in the Harvard Crimson, adorned one corner of his shared student apartment with "a Communist Party flag ... bought on their trip to Russia the summer after sophomore year."

This is a tremendously alarming development. Ronald Reagan, as we all know, drove a silver stake through the heart of the Evil Empire back in 1989, which means someone must have somehow reanimated it: Has Barack Hussein Obama brought World Communist back from the dead, possibly through some sort of negroid voodoo spell? He is, after all, black; furthermore, his past religious associations point towards some sort of Marxist Afro-Islamic occult practice. I only wish there were another debate on the horizon, so that a conscientious member of our media could ask him what other failed ideologies he will be bringing back from the dead by killing chickens. Praise Him!

fully vetted

I'm off to an undisclosed location for the next three days and blogging will be scarce (but you're used to that by now, right?). In the meantime, enjoy my latest over at American Street. Praise Him!

Praying chihuahuas, Obama's tax returns, & $400 weaves

It will all make sense if you go to this week's contribution at American Street. Praise Him!

Blogging against theocracy

We are in the dwindling hours of Blog Against Theocracy weekend, and if there were ever any time in Our Nation's history that we needed to be on guard against the menace of unbridled religious authority chipping away at the safeguards of the Constitution, it's now. This past week has shown that the Democrats' leading presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama, is in the thralls of a militant death cult, the Trinity United Church of Christ, and its charismatic leader, Rev. Jeremiah Wright. If -- Heaven help us -- he should he win, Ayatollah Obama would subject America to a negroid theocracy in which us poor white people become the sacrificial lambs offered up to their angry black deities. Our fair-minded jurists like Antonin Scalia, Samuel Alito, and Clarence Thomas would be cannibalized and replaced by tribal elders who rule in favor of whoever can provide them with the most livestock, and our airwaves would be filled with the strident rhetoric of America-haters like Malcolm X and Oprah Winfrey.

Mr. Obama's "church" not only advocates the violent extermination of the white race, but it also willfully misrepresents the Gospel of the Christian Church in its message of social uplift -- for black people! If that weren't alarming enough, liberal apologists try to explain away this grave menace to Freedom by saying that this is just the tip of the iceberg and most black churches hate America just as much, or even more so.

The Left may think that it can avoid the horrors an Obama caliphate would bring by voting for his opponent, Chairman Hillary. However, a recently unearthed photograph shows that even Bill Clinton has fallen under the spell of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, around the time he shot his DNA on Monica Lewinsky. Was it in fact the pernicious influence of Rev. Wright that led Bill Clinton to conduct himself in such a sinful manner? And can we safely assume that Mrs. Clinton herself has not been corrupted by this treacherous "preacher," even though she may have fallen under his penetrating negro gaze? It would certainly explain her endless string of murders and lesbian trysts.

This past week has forced me to reevaluate the role Faith should have in America. Our Nation was founded upon Christian Values, and church attendance should be compulsory, except for black people, whom we should actively try to keep out of our houses of Worship. Recent events have shown that rather than spreading the Word of Family Values, honoring Our Nation through deregulation, and making sure firearms are cheap and plentiful in their local communities, they'd rather hijack the message of the Gospel to their own Communistic ends. Let us hope common sense prevails and a Republican is returned to the White House, so that the nightmare of theocracy can be avoided. Praise Him!

Geraldine Fibbers

As my Prayer Warriors can attest, caucasians are routinely denied entry to the upper corridors of power so that ethnic minorities can benefit from this "leveling" of the playing field. Their disproportionate representation has given them a huge advantage at the expense of us white people, and I don't know how many children have had to cry themselves to sleep after learning that being white will keep them from achieving the pinnacle of success in janitorial services, meat processing, or prison, and that they will instead have to settle for jobs in banking, law, and middle management. Those who speak out against this injustice are branded "bigots," but finally someone with even impeccable liberal credentials is speaking out against this injustice we have suffered far too long -- and is being pilloried for it, naturally:

Geraldine Ferraro says her comments on Barack Obama's race being the primary reason for his success in the presidential campaign are being "spun" as racist, and she says he should be thanking her for the comments.

Rather than retreat from her seemingly foot-in-mouth comments, the former New York City lawmaker has decided to go on offense. Ferraro has claimed her words were taken out of context and has decried being painted as racist by some.

"The spin on the words has been that somehow I was addressing the his qualifications. I was not," Ferraro said Wednesday on ABC's Good Morning America. "I was celebrating the fact that the black community in this country came out with a pride in a historic candidacy, and has shown itself at the polls. You'd think he'd say, 'Yeah thank you for doing that. ... we want to say thank you to the community.' Instead I'm charged with being a racist."

What can you expect from these ungrateful negroes? Their idea of a celebration usually involves dancing and having a good time, so saying that "If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position" clearly wouldn't measure up to the standards of jubilation they unfairly impose on the rest of us. Geraldine, for what little difference it makes, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

What if the overreaction by the Obama camp is really just a means of deflecting attention away from all the other opportunities their candidate has robbed white people of? His cultists like to point to his resume as showing his qualifications, but how many more qualified white people did he elbow out of his way to work as a community organizer in those public housing projects? How many lawyers had to settle for humiliating jobs as lowly associates in AmLaw top 10 firms so Obama could be president of the Harvard Law Review? How many white legislators were told to go legislate elsewhere so Obama could lord over Chicago's tony South Side? These are questions that need to be asked, and by the looks of it, Hillary Clinton's campaign may actually provide a rare public service by finally addressing them. I certainly hope so. Praise Him!

Not so sweet Caroline

Sorry for the gap in blogging on this end, Christians. The Left gave me anthrax -- again -- and it was only through the power of Prayer and the finest over-the-counter cold medicines Western medicine has to offer that I was able to claw my way back from the brink of certain death and stand before my would-be assassins: J'accuse, moonbats! It's time you once again feel the sting of my wrath, made ever so much keener by my maximum dosage of Dayquil.

If there's anything more ridiculous than the political endorsements of liberal Hollywood celebrities, it's the endorsements of their pampered offspring. Somewhere between their stints in rehab and bearing the illegitimate children of the bandmembers of Good Charlotte, they want you to know that they've given serious thought to which of the traitors on the Democratic slate will best pervert Our Nation's Values. One prominent celebuspawn has given her thumbs-up to the celebrated Muslim terrorist Barack Hussein Obama:

The daughter of President John F. Kennedy endorsed Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, saying he could inspire Americans in the same way her father once did.


"I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them," Caroline Kennedy wrote in an op-ed posted Saturday on the Web site of The New York Times. "But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans."

How are we supposed to take this seriously? The Kennedys are a notoriously hard-partying family who've shacked up with every "thespian" with a decent set of cans who's made her way to Hollywood for the past 50 years, and National Virtue has been paying the price for their drunken misbehavior ever since. Quite frankly, I wish "Ms" Kennedy would stick with the usual antics of the heiress set, like wrecking their Bentleys and flashing their coochies at the paparazzi in front of Hyde. Besides, I thought Al Gore had locked up the support of the drunken starlet crowd. Until young Hollywood is ready to repent for their sins and endorse Republicans (other than Rudy Giuliani & John McCain), their words will remain so much hollow, self-serving claptrap. Praise Him!

Honoring Dr. King the conservative way

America's first black president.

The Martin Luther King holiday presents us with the opportunity to reflect upon one Universal Truth in America's struggle for racial equality: That black people would be far better off if they voted Republican. If liberals hadn't enacted hiring quotas, George Bush wouldn't have had to nominate Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court, and a generation of young Americans would have been spared the horror of Orrin Hatch talking about carbonated beverages garnished with pubic hair . Anita Hill's tasteless peepshow gave us weeks of hearing about what kind of porno she likes to rent (I myself have to avert my eyes every time I pass a certain fast food restaurant), which quickly led to gangster rap, and, shortly thereafter, a crack cocaine epidemic brought about by Bill Clinton's despotic penis.

I for one thought the Black community would wise up and mobilize behind a Republican candidate (today's fun fact: Mitt Romney learned to speak fluent Jive before leaving the country for missionary work in Massachusetts!), but Prayer Warrior Michelle Malkin shows how once again liberals are trying to undo the impressive strides Negroes have made under Republican administrations:

In Birmingham, Alabama, today’s official Martin Luther King, Jr., holiday will be about…open borders (hat tip - reader Stephen):

The keynote speaker for the Martin Luther King Unity Breakfast on Monday is a Kansas native and the daughter of Mexican immigrants.

Organizers said they chose Janet Murguia, the president and chief executive officer of the National Council of La Raza, because of her message of unity and her opposition to a resurgence of hate speech in the immigration debate. ...

Murguia said she intends to speak about common challenges and opportunities for blacks and Hispanics.

“We recognize that the immigration system is broken and it requires a serious debate,” she said, “but there’s no room in that debate for hate, and we’re sensing a wave of hate right now that’s not only directed at immigrants, but the Hispanic community.”

I share Michelle's alarm at the prospect of cooperation between these two disgruntled liberal constituencies. Black people are notoriously tall, and if they were to start boosting illegal immigrants up over the Great Wall of Tom Tancredo, sidewalks of our border states would soon turn into a virtual autobahn upon which illegal immigrants mow over our children with their unlicensed pushcarts. It'll be like Death Race 2000, only dubbed into Spanish by the UC Santa Cruz chapter of MEChA. The Africanish-American community would do well to keep that in mind, and to recognize these offers for cross-racial dialogue about immigration policy as the murderous ploys they really are. Praise Him!

Sister Nancy Beth takes a link-dump

If she hadn't been so busy whoring around, she could have made it onto the Ark.

Conchita's in full Torquemada mode (and not in a good way), so I'm hoping to grind out a quick post to inflame your sense of Outrage. Read and fume, Christians, read and fume:

† Lizards behaving badly - I've always assumed The Left's fondness for dinosaurs was a marriage of convenience that allowed them to lie about the earth's real age while advancing the "theory" of evolution. It turns out that dinosaurs also allow them to promote teen promiscuity:

Adolescent pregnancy isn't a modern invention, it occurred in dinosaurs millions of years ago. Medullary bone, a type of tissue present in modern birds when they are developing eggs, has been found in three dinosaur fossils, researchers report in Monday's online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The dinosaurs were aged 8, 10 and 18, indicating they reached sexual maturity earlier than previously thought.

If only they had received Values-based sex education, these dinosaurs could have waited until they were married.

† Obama's religion will destroy Our Nation, take 2 - When not praying five times a day for Allah to smite the United States, Barack Obama attends a "church" filled with angry negroes who pray for a black Jesus to smite the United States. Unsurprisingly, MSM doesn't dare breath a word about it:

A conservative watchdog group is criticizing the media for questioning GOP presidential candidates Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney about their religious beliefs while asking no questions about the controversial teachings of the church of which Democrat Barack Obama is a member. ...

But there has been almost no media coverage of Senator Barack Obama's membership in Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ, which calls itself "a congregation that is Unashamedly Black" and identifies its membership as "an African people [who] remain true to our native land."

Unashamedly black sounds suspiciously close to unapologetically gay, and we know where that leads. Hopefully citizen journalists will pick up liberal media's slack and start a chain letter or something.

† Of Lice and Men - One of The Left's most effective methods of undermining the Biblical authority of cosmetology is opening beauty parlors that pander to the special needs of key Democrat voting groups. First there were ethnic hair salons, then came salons for aspiring homosexuals, and now those dirty smelly hippies are getting their moment in the styling chair:

In Chicago's tony Lincoln Park neighborhood, a new upscale salon has set up shop alongside the rows of uber-chic restaurants, cafes and boutiques. But at Hair Fairies, they don't cut hair. Instead of removing split ends and flyaways, they remove something much more unsightly.

Head lice. ...

Though head lice have been around seemingly forever and pose no serious medical threat, the number of delousing salons and in-home services has multiplied in recent years. Many have colorful names such as the Texas Lice Squad and LouseCalls.

I'm assuming the majority of their clientele are liberal bloggers, so I'm surprised I haven't heard more about this trend over at DailyKos. Praise Him!

Special Victims Unit

These lucky bastards got a free trip across the Atlantic & Michelle Malkin can't even get a booking on the National Review Caribbean cruise.

If anyone's life has been tragically ruined by Affirmative Action, it's Michelle Malkin's. Not only has she been shut out of MSM's editorial pages in favor of liberal womyn's columnists like Maureen Dowd and Mickey Kaus, but even her saturation of the market for right-wing commentary is threatened by Affirmative Action hires like Starr Parker and Ramesh Ponnuru. Poor Michelle can't catch a break, but until that day comes, there's one way she can make herself feel better: exposing liberal traitors to the collective wrath of the conservative blogosphere.

Michelle's latest oppressor is female and black, so you know Michelle has suffered mightily at her hands. She's had Michelle working doubletime at Townhall just so she could pay the taxes that fund this woman's lavish lifestyle of public housing. I can't help but note the irony here: The massive "strides" Our Nation has made in "civil" "rights" have resulted in a new form of slavery in which conservatives toil on the plantations of our black Communist homosexual masters... but that's probably a blog post for another time. Getting back to my original point, it is an Outrage, especially when Michelle hurls the most damning indictment:

So, does she look familiar? This Sharon Jasper is the same Sharon Jasper profiled in the New Orleans Times-Picayune sulking in her government-subsidized apartment with hardwood floors and HUGEtastic flat-screen television and complaining that it’s a “slum:”

There's no word on what kind of countertops she has in her kitchen, but it's probably high-end onyx. Michelle is driving there right now & will be issuing updates about what she can see through the living room window. Praise Him!