Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Sister Nancy Beth takes a link-dump


If she hadn't been so busy whoring around, she could have made it onto the Ark.

Conchita's in full Torquemada mode (and not in a good way), so I'm hoping to grind out a quick post to inflame your sense of Outrage. Read and fume, Christians, read and fume:

† Lizards behaving badly - I've always assumed The Left's fondness for dinosaurs was a marriage of convenience that allowed them to lie about the earth's real age while advancing the "theory" of evolution. It turns out that dinosaurs also allow them to promote teen promiscuity:
Adolescent pregnancy isn't a modern invention, it occurred in dinosaurs millions of years ago. Medullary bone, a type of tissue present in modern birds when they are developing eggs, has been found in three dinosaur fossils, researchers report in Monday's online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The dinosaurs were aged 8, 10 and 18, indicating they reached sexual maturity earlier than previously thought.
If only they had received Values-based sex education, these dinosaurs could have waited until they were married.

† Obama's religion will destroy Our Nation, take 2 - When not praying five times a day for Allah to smite the United States, Barack Obama attends a "church" filled with angry negroes who pray for a black Jesus to smite the United States. Unsurprisingly, MSM doesn't dare breath a word about it:
A conservative watchdog group is criticizing the media for questioning GOP presidential candidates Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney about their religious beliefs while asking no questions about the controversial teachings of the church of which Democrat Barack Obama is a member. ...

But there has been almost no media coverage of Senator Barack Obama's membership in Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ, which calls itself "a congregation that is Unashamedly Black" and identifies its membership as "an African people [who] remain true to our native land."
Unashamedly black sounds suspiciously close to unapologetically gay, and we know where that leads. Hopefully citizen journalists will pick up liberal media's slack and start a chain letter or something.

† Of Lice and Men - One of The Left's most effective methods of undermining the Biblical authority of cosmetology is opening beauty parlors that pander to the special needs of key Democrat voting groups. First there were ethnic hair salons, then came salons for aspiring homosexuals, and now those dirty smelly hippies are getting their moment in the styling chair:
In Chicago's tony Lincoln Park neighborhood, a new upscale salon has set up shop alongside the rows of uber-chic restaurants, cafes and boutiques. But at Hair Fairies, they don't cut hair. Instead of removing split ends and flyaways, they remove something much more unsightly.

Head lice. ...

Though head lice have been around seemingly forever and pose no serious medical threat, the number of delousing salons and in-home services has multiplied in recent years. Many have colorful names such as the Texas Lice Squad and LouseCalls.
I'm assuming the majority of their clientele are liberal bloggers, so I'm surprised I haven't heard more about this trend over at DailyKos. Praise Him!

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8 Comments:

  • At January 15, 2008 8:22 AM, Blogger liquiddaddy said…

    Nancy,

    Sister, I've been thinking about this for awhile now. I think 2008 will be the year of the hair (not in a nice way).

    Women will throw out their Nair and Bic razors in favor of "letting it all hang out."

    Men will once again embrace unisex styles that we found so frightening back in the day.

    What will become of Christ's cosmotological teachings?

    "Kill the harlot!" Matthew 1:12

    LD

     
  • At January 15, 2008 2:23 PM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    I am stuck on the promiscious dinosuars for some reason i just keep thinking about it and thinking about it. Maybe its cause they are retillian and i certainly share that affinity - my blood runs cold especially when i think of the leftie moonbats H*** bent on destroying our Christian Nation..

    I fear perhaps the sin of unpure thoughts. If my brain offends Me Sister Nancy Beth should i cut it off ? Please advise..

    in the meantime ( i know u are super busy)

    i will try and save my own self with some Hail Mary's Praise him and pass the mascara and the advice as this is Culture War and i don't want to be caught in the confession booth, when the rapture comes. I would prefer to be on my couch watching the 700 club of course.

     
  • At January 16, 2008 9:02 AM, Blogger MickeyMusing said…

    Dear Sister,

    Like all good Christians, I am troubled by the trend of promiscuity in God's lower creations. Dinosaurs may have been a bit much for me to tackle but, in fulfillment of my scriptural duty to "have dominion over the animals" I have been running a home for unwed-mother cats for several years now. Many of them are teens or even pre-teens and despite my best effort at abstinence education, the little sluts go right out and do it again. I've had a number of "repeat performers" dropped at my doorstep by a frustrated and clearly left-leaning humane society that can't afford to surgically alter all the kitty hos they see in a year and who, I think, secretly wink and nod at this perverted behavior (as is the lefty way).

    Now you tell me that this trend has been going on since creation began. I must confess, my faith is a bit shaken. Is this evidence of the failure of the transformative power of God's word? Heaven forbid. If not, that means God "created" these promiscuous animals. How can that be? I feel I am in need of a good dose of tortured Christian logic to provide non-scientific and/or nonsense answers to these questions. Thank you for your links to the best in scientific Christian thought. I'm sure these sites will provide the supernatural answer I am seeking.

    Yours in faith,
    OfIsaac

     
  • At January 16, 2008 10:39 AM, Blogger ChloeElise said…

    Now, now, LD... it doesn't say that in Matthew 1:12. That's in John 3:36... of course you really have to believe that's what God says. That means it is imperative to take the verse out of its historical and literal context:

    "She that believeth is not condemned: but she that believeth promiscuity is expedient is condemned already, because she hath madeth herself an harlot. Nobody liketh the harlot, and so she shall be bludgeoned to death with really, really big rocks."

    And MM, you should really consider an animal shelter for those cats; one with a good Scripture-knowledgable counselor. This is not to be taken lightly because I fear that these cats may be in danger of eternal fire. Promiscuity is an abomination in the highest degree. Mankind, of course having "dominion" over all the creatures of the land, air, and sea, is duly charged with the sacred quest of maintaining an equilibrium with all of God's creation. This includes separating the unclean from the clean.

    You must purge the wickedness of the kitties from among you and your family. Do you live near a rock quarry?

    God bless!

     
  • At January 16, 2008 1:15 PM, Blogger Y | O | Y said…

    The only thing worse than a huge beast is a huge beast with loose morals.

     
  • At January 16, 2008 1:31 PM, Blogger MickeyMusing said…

    YOY,

    ...or loose bowels.

     
  • At January 16, 2008 3:41 PM, Blogger Sister Nancy Beth Eczema said…

    LD: I've been meaning to tell you how much I credence I put in your predictions for 2008. I say put this on the list.

    PP: "my brain offends Me Sister Nancy Beth should i cut it off ? Please advise.."

    It worked for me.

    MM: "Is this evidence of the failure of the transformative power of God's word?:

    No. It's Bill Clinton's fault.

    CE: Thanks for pinch-hitting. I'm terrible about responding to my commenters and appreciate your willingness to come over and do it for me. Uhm, I hate to ask, but how about mowing my lawn next?

    YOY: So true. Given how dinosaurs are hyped in elementary school, I can't help but wonder how many teen pregnancies they're responsible for.

    MM: I suspect dinosaur scat fetishists are another subculture that will be rallying for acceptance of their perverted lifestyle.

     
  • At February 09, 2008 5:51 PM, Blogger kamakula said…

    There seems to be some confusion here. Promiscuity implies being free with one's sexual attentions. Having sex once does not a promiscuous dinosaur make.

     

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