Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Liberal fascism in action

The revised edition includes a chapter of low-cal recipes and helpful hints on how to cut your energy bill in half.

As Prayer Warrior Jonah Goldberg has amply demonstrated, the establishment of the Islezbofascsist caliphate will come wrapped in 100% organic cotton and eating a vegan kelp burrito. Liberals have added the dangerous mantra "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" to their usual chants of "2-4-6-8, penis tastes really great" and "Hey-hey, Ho-ho, Christian Values have got to go" in their attempts to win over the hearts and minds of gullible Americans, and Swarthmore-educated public school teachers instruct our children in the "virtues" of environmental "stewardship," while important lessons about stoning whores and homosexuals remain shamefully untaught. Environmentalism is the hand-maiden of totalitarianism (or maybe vice-versa), and any crushingly authoritarian regime is destined to have impeccable Green credentials. Proving this point is China, which is banishing that great libtard bĂȘte noire, the plastic bag:
Declaring war on the "white pollution" choking its cities, farms and waterways, China is banning free plastic shopping bags and calling for a return to the cloth bags of old - steps largely welcomed by merchants and shoppers yesterday.

The measure eliminates the flimsiest bags and forces stores to charge for others, making China the latest nation to target plastic bags in a bid to cut waste and conserve resources.

Beijing residents appeared to take the ban in stride, reflecting rising environmental consciousness and concern over skyrocketing oil prices.

"If we can reduce waste and save resources, then it's good both for us and the whole world," said 21-year-old college student Xu Lixian, who was buying tangerines out of cardboard boxes at a sidewalk stall.
Already in Our Nation, the usual suspects have begun their assault on plastic bags in an attempt to regulate Freedom's mighty totes out of existence. As we could expect, they fail to recognize that when plastic bags are criminalized, only criminals will have plastic bags, which will lead to a crime wave of deaths by suffocation and other sack-related offenses. Only a citizenry armed with a steady supply of cheap and plentiful plastic bags will keep America from descending into the state of lawlessness that will inevitably follow such a ban... but maybe that's just part of their plan. Maybe they want us to be defenseless for the coup (also known as Chairman Hillary's inauguration) they plan on staging.

Just as the American ideal of Freedom is immortal, so too does the plastic bag strive to be equally enduring, vigilantly defending Our Nation for 500 to 1000 years before heading off to its polyethylene Valhalla. It is important for us to recognize banning plastic bags as the eco-terrorism it truly is, and that a free and prosperous country depends on them for its very survival. Praise Him!

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