Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Monday, March 31, 2008

Fast Food Abomination

Radical homosexual activists have been trying to pervert America's fast food industry since the inception of the "gay" "rights" "movement," and they have largely succeeded. I can barely leave my local Weinerschnitzel without a case of shellshock from all that blatant phallic imagery, and even wholesome Dairy Queen has become another sordid entry in the decadent patois of the contemporary urban homosexual. Perhaps the final straw for me has been the sissification of the fast food menu, whereby hearty American fare like burgers and fries has been swapped out in favor of salads and yogurt parfaits, the MREs of Chairman Hillary's homosexual shock troops.

The latest domino to fall to the homos is that global ambassador of American goodwill (and perpetual target of moonbat dieticians), McDonald's. Rather that using their corporate might to promote a hearty diet of meats, cheese, and refined flour, they'd rather you put something far less wholesome in your mouth -- the human wang:
McDonald's restaurant's, famed for the Golden Arches, Ronald McDonald and kids meals, has signed onto a nationwide effort to promote "gay" and "lesbian" business ventures.

The company, which is listed on the website of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce as a "corporate partner and organization ally" for an undisclosed financial contribution, also recently placed one of its executives on the NGLCC board of directors.
It is only a matter of time before before the recruitment of your child into the homosexual lifestyle begins in earnest. Happy Meals will soon become Festive Meals whose first line of promotional toys will be Elton John action figures. And rather than warning about the choking hazard they present, paper placemats will teach your child how to suppress his gag reflex in preparation of his long life violating God's law. Parents, lead your child out of a life of spiritual darkness and cardiovascular stress by patronizing Domino's instead. Praise Him!

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Praying chihuahuas, Obama's tax returns, & $400 weaves

It will all make sense if you go to this week's contribution at American Street. Praise Him!

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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Blogging against theocracy

We are in the dwindling hours of Blog Against Theocracy weekend, and if there were ever any time in Our Nation's history that we needed to be on guard against the menace of unbridled religious authority chipping away at the safeguards of the Constitution, it's now. This past week has shown that the Democrats' leading presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama, is in the thralls of a militant death cult, the Trinity United Church of Christ, and its charismatic leader, Rev. Jeremiah Wright. If -- Heaven help us -- he should he win, Ayatollah Obama would subject America to a negroid theocracy in which us poor white people become the sacrificial lambs offered up to their angry black deities. Our fair-minded jurists like Antonin Scalia, Samuel Alito, and Clarence Thomas would be cannibalized and replaced by tribal elders who rule in favor of whoever can provide them with the most livestock, and our airwaves would be filled with the strident rhetoric of America-haters like Malcolm X and Oprah Winfrey.

Mr. Obama's "church" not only advocates the violent extermination of the white race, but it also willfully misrepresents the Gospel of the Christian Church in its message of social uplift -- for black people! If that weren't alarming enough, liberal apologists try to explain away this grave menace to Freedom by saying that this is just the tip of the iceberg and most black churches hate America just as much, or even more so.

The Left may think that it can avoid the horrors an Obama caliphate would bring by voting for his opponent, Chairman Hillary. However, a recently unearthed photograph shows that even Bill Clinton has fallen under the spell of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, around the time he shot his DNA on Monica Lewinsky. Was it in fact the pernicious influence of Rev. Wright that led Bill Clinton to conduct himself in such a sinful manner? And can we safely assume that Mrs. Clinton herself has not been corrupted by this treacherous "preacher," even though she may have fallen under his penetrating negro gaze? It would certainly explain her endless string of murders and lesbian trysts.

This past week has forced me to reevaluate the role Faith should have in America. Our Nation was founded upon Christian Values, and church attendance should be compulsory, except for black people, whom we should actively try to keep out of our houses of Worship. Recent events have shown that rather than spreading the Word of Family Values, honoring Our Nation through deregulation, and making sure firearms are cheap and plentiful in their local communities, they'd rather hijack the message of the Gospel to their own Communistic ends. Let us hope common sense prevails and a Republican is returned to the White House, so that the nightmare of theocracy can be avoided. Praise Him!

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Lynndie 500

Christians, check out my salute to budding conservative media critic(!)Lynndie England(!) over at American Street. Praise Him!

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Monday, March 17, 2008

More like this, please

The Left has been working overtime to discredit Conservatism, even going so far as to claim that Our President's bold and decisive leadership "killed the Republican brand." Their propaganda has been so effective that we're looking at the strong probability our next president will either be an angry, America-hating Black Panther or the lezbo who ran their legal defense. But leave it to MSM to only tell you half the story. There are some places where conservatism is still in its ascendancy -- like Iran:
Conservatives win Iran election

Conservative candidates in Iran's general election have kept control of parliament, in line with expectations.

They did particularly well in the capital, Tehran, which is seen as the key to parliamentary power.
This is excellent news for conservatives! Iran has been a steadfast spiritual ally in The Global War on Dick-sucking, and with this vote, they're one step closer to coming to theirs senses and actually bombing themselves. So sorry, liberal media, you can spin the present Republican setbacks all you want, but this just proves that old adage that when one door closes, another gets napalmed open. Praise Him!

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Friday, March 14, 2008

Un-American Pi

If working towards my GED has taught me nothing else (and it probably hasn't), the entire public school curriculum is riddled with anti-Christian & anti-American bias. You're most familiar with The Left's attempts to undermine Biblical Morality and brainwash your child into the gay Muslim lifestyle through sex "education," the theory of evolution, and English literature courses, but that's merely the tip of the iceberg. Geometry is often portrayed as an objective form of mathematics, despite its origins in the radical homosexual underworld of ancient Greece, yet today one of its most sinful constants is being celebrated in all its perversity:
If this is 3/14, it must be Pi Day. In fact, it’s the 20th anniversary of the first Pi Day, a feast that began at the San Francisco Exploratorium and has been rightfully spreading in a great circle around the world.
What MSM doesn't want to tell you is that Pi is a blasphemous occult symbol that represents two broken Crucifixes joined together in unholy fornication. It is featured prominently in the iconography of teenage goth culture, that intermediate stage between homosexuality and/or mass murder, as Pi necklaces are as de rigeur as black eyeliner and self-mutilation with this crowd. But that's only half geometry's twisted story. In further denunciation of the Holy Trinity, and as a reminder of its origins in polytheism and male group sex, it allows for multiple sided polyhedrons that seek to lead your child into a dangerous lifestyle of anything-goes immorality. Sadly, this isn't the only form of math that has been tainted by The Left's multicultural agenda. Algebra, as its Arabic sounding name indicates, was derived from the Koran, and all of the 9/11 hijackers had studied it in their madrasas. In my correspondence course, when I said the answer to "x4 - 9x2 + 8" was Prayer, my teacher flunked me right on the spot, in direct violation of the Freedom of religion guaranteed by the First Amendment. This whole experience has shown me that it is essential that we homeschool our young Christians to prevent them from being exposed to this sort of liberal filth. It also explains why liberals are so keen on keeping your child in their indoctrination camps. Praise Him!

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Geraldine Fibbers

As my Prayer Warriors can attest, caucasians are routinely denied entry to the upper corridors of power so that ethnic minorities can benefit from this "leveling" of the playing field. Their disproportionate representation has given them a huge advantage at the expense of us white people, and I don't know how many children have had to cry themselves to sleep after learning that being white will keep them from achieving the pinnacle of success in janitorial services, meat processing, or prison, and that they will instead have to settle for jobs in banking, law, and middle management. Those who speak out against this injustice are branded "bigots," but finally someone with even impeccable liberal credentials is speaking out against this injustice we have suffered far too long -- and is being pilloried for it, naturally:
Geraldine Ferraro says her comments on Barack Obama's race being the primary reason for his success in the presidential campaign are being "spun" as racist, and she says he should be thanking her for the comments.

Rather than retreat from her seemingly foot-in-mouth comments, the former New York City lawmaker has decided to go on offense. Ferraro has claimed her words were taken out of context and has decried being painted as racist by some.

"The spin on the words has been that somehow I was addressing the his qualifications. I was not," Ferraro said Wednesday on ABC's Good Morning America. "I was celebrating the fact that the black community in this country came out with a pride in a historic candidacy, and has shown itself at the polls. You'd think he'd say, 'Yeah thank you for doing that. ... we want to say thank you to the community.' Instead I'm charged with being a racist."
What can you expect from these ungrateful negroes? Their idea of a celebration usually involves dancing and having a good time, so saying that "If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position" clearly wouldn't measure up to the standards of jubilation they unfairly impose on the rest of us. Geraldine, for what little difference it makes, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

What if the overreaction by the Obama camp is really just a means of deflecting attention away from all the other opportunities their candidate has robbed white people of? His cultists like to point to his resume as showing his qualifications, but how many more qualified white people did he elbow out of his way to work as a community organizer in those public housing projects? How many lawyers had to settle for humiliating jobs as lowly associates in AmLaw top 10 firms so Obama could be president of the Harvard Law Review? How many white legislators were told to go legislate elsewhere so Obama could lord over Chicago's tony South Side? These are questions that need to be asked, and by the looks of it, Hillary Clinton's campaign may actually provide a rare public service by finally addressing them. I certainly hope so. Praise Him!

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Streetwalkin cheaters

Check out my entry over at American Street, where I take the high road and advocate for a compassionate Conservative response to the Spitzer crisis. Praise Him!

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Little red schoolhouse

Despite MSM's assertion that World Communism expelled its last breath in 1989, the Red Menace remains a constant threat to Our Nation. It lurks, much like Bill Clinton at a bat mitzvah, waiting to pounce on us when we least expect it. Fastidious scholarship by Ann Coulter and Jonah Goldberg has revealed the depths of The Left's unbridled love for Josef Stalin, and the only thing keeping people who love their country from being shipped off to Chairman Hillary's gulag archipelago has been the vigilance of Freedom-lovers like myself.

While I've managed, if you'll pardon the unpleasant imagery, to keep my fingers in the dike and prevent the reds from gaining a toehold here in California (with the minor exceptions of Berkeley, San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Long Beach, Santa Monica, and Los Angeles), the mighty levees of Freedom threaten to spring yet another leak. America's public schools, already lavishing the decadent fruits of socialism like free lunch programs and immunizations upon your child, will soon be forcing them to read Das Kapital in its original French. Prayer Warriors World Net Daily tell us how:
A new plan by a California lawmaker would allow schools to be used to promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, and let teachers in public district classrooms "inculcate in the mind of any pupil a preference for communism," according to a traditional values advocacy organization. ...

Now comes the plan, SB 1322, from state Sen. Alan Lowenthal, a Democrat ... [truncated, but what more needs to be said?]

"This bill would actually allow the promotion of communism in public schools," CRI said.

That's because the state's Civic Center Act already requires a school district to grant the use of school property, when an alternative isn't available, to nonprofit groups, clubs or associations set up for youth and school activities.

"But the law also states that the property may not be used by anyone intent on overthrowing the government," CRI said. Now, the group said, "SB 1322 would delete the requirement that an individual or organization wanting to use the school property is not a Communist action organization or Communist front organization.

"This bill would also strike the law that a public school or community college employee may be fired if he or she is a member of the Communist Party," the group said.
California's anti-Communist provisions have preserved the thin blue line keeping teachers from North Korea, Cuba, and Laos from descending upon our schools like a plague of locusts and changing part of the curriculum to standing in line for toilet paper. But now that this bill is on the table, all bets are off. Already the minds of our children are being poisoned with evil liberal dogma of evolution, homosexuality, and Spanish. If they are taught that America even has enough room for its communists, then truly the terrorists will have won. Praise Him!

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Tuesday, March 04, 2008

St. Elsewhere

Over at American Street, to be specific, where I'm kicking liberal ass and taking names as I expose Barack Hussein Obama's radical homosexual agenda. Praise Him!

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Sunday, March 02, 2008

Kiss of death

Daytime television is enemy territory for those of us who adhere to Traditional Values. Whether it's Oprah X. Winfrey's racist diatribes against America or Judge Judy's refusal to cede her authority to the men in her courtroom, Christianity is always on the receiving end of The Left's abuse. As if the airwaves weren't hostile enough to us people of Faith, liberals are now trying to ensure that daytime viewers are bombarded with the most graphic images of homosexuality conceivable:
The love affair between two young men on the venerable CBS soap opera "As the World Turns" has triggered a protest campaign by angry viewers.

It's just not the sort of protest you'd expect.

Fans of the fictional romance between Luke Snyder and Noah Mayer are baffled about why the two characters haven't kissed on-screen since September, wondering whether it's a sign of squeamishness by CBS or show sponsors Procter & Gamble Co.
That such an argument could even be advanced is nothing short of appalling. Two men kissing is not only deeply offensive on a moral level, it's also a well known hazard to public health. Man-on-man kissing is an amply documented route for transmitting MRSA, syphilis, bubonic plague, schizophrenia, dropsy, beriberi, and most forms of cancer. "Kissing" also serves as foreplay prior to engaging in even more deviant forms of sexual behavior, like sadomasochism, kleptophilia, and figure skating. Imagine if your impressionable son were to see two men going at it while watching his soap operas. How soon would it be before he starts frenching other boys in his scout troop or on his Little League team?

America's broadcasters are playing with fire, and I implore them to make the responsible choice by depicting homosexuality as the grim, miserable death sentence we know it to be. The only time it's not gay for one man to kiss another is when one of them is President Bush and the other is a visiting Arab dignitary, since he's puckering up for American military superiority. If Hollywood were more interested in presenting an even-handed portrait of American life rather than advancing the radical homosexual agenda, America's daytime dramas would be filled with conservative men slipping each other the tongue, all for the good of God and Country. Praise Him!

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The remaindered table is the Nazi book-burning of liberal fascism

I've never bought any of the books written by my Prayer Warriors, mostly because I didn't want to part with the dough, and, frankly, walking down to the library seemed like a lot of work. Besides, when Hillary's lesbian stormtroopers come barreling through my door in January '09, I don't want to hand them any more evidence than what they've already got.

Usually by the time one of these books has been released, whosever it is has been on MSNBC to gin up some controversy around it, prompting a slew of newspaper columns, and then blog posts about those newspaper columns in which they discuss what a bunch of homosexuals liberals are. The lengthy gestation period for Jonah Goldberg's epic history Liberal Fascism: Transmitting Venereal Disease from Parent to Child has allowed for so much speculation about its contents that I felt that I had read it and turned in my book report to my GED teacher two weeks late before it even came out. I have to say it is the finest work of scholarly research I never plan to read, which makes me all the more sorry I won't be buying a copy when I learn of the Persecution poor Jonah Goldberg is facing. The genitalia-pierced vegetarian fascists he identifies in his book are the same thugs who aren't displaying his seminal (which I mean in a non-sticky sort of way, of course) tome prominently enough:
From Within The Belly of the Beast

From a reader:
Mr. Goldberg:

I've been enjoying my role as the black sheep, working part-time at a large Barnes and Noble in the Midwest while going to school. It really is great "working around all those books," but other perks include the many opportunities to throw my wrench into typical B&N chatter and other bouts of contrarianism. ...

- Since then, the five shortlisted copies [of Liberal Fascism] have been in two promotional "displays" when not hidden or exhausted; the current placement is in an octagon fixture in the aisle, not facing the entrance and practically on the floor. In other words, nearly impossible to find. (Chris Hedges' book on the other hand...) I quite enjoy telling the customer where the "thought squad" has placed his book and then
hashing over it afterwards.
This reminds me all too much of that time my late Prayer Warrior Cathy Seipp relayed a similarly harrowing tale of Persecution at the hands of one of these bookstore huns. The clerk was a suspected radical homosexual activist, which makes their treachery all the more obvious when you consider they're actively conspiring with Muslims to turn Our Nation into an authoritarian homosexualist monarchy headed by Rosie O'Donnel and Elton John. They clearly understand what a barricade to their unholy campaign Jonah's book is, and are resorting to predictably Gestapo-like tactics to squelch it. Semper Fi, Jonah, Semper Fi. Praise Him!

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