Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Sunday, March 02, 2008

The remaindered table is the Nazi book-burning of liberal fascism

I've never bought any of the books written by my Prayer Warriors, mostly because I didn't want to part with the dough, and, frankly, walking down to the library seemed like a lot of work. Besides, when Hillary's lesbian stormtroopers come barreling through my door in January '09, I don't want to hand them any more evidence than what they've already got.

Usually by the time one of these books has been released, whosever it is has been on MSNBC to gin up some controversy around it, prompting a slew of newspaper columns, and then blog posts about those newspaper columns in which they discuss what a bunch of homosexuals liberals are. The lengthy gestation period for Jonah Goldberg's epic history Liberal Fascism: Transmitting Venereal Disease from Parent to Child has allowed for so much speculation about its contents that I felt that I had read it and turned in my book report to my GED teacher two weeks late before it even came out. I have to say it is the finest work of scholarly research I never plan to read, which makes me all the more sorry I won't be buying a copy when I learn of the Persecution poor Jonah Goldberg is facing. The genitalia-pierced vegetarian fascists he identifies in his book are the same thugs who aren't displaying his seminal (which I mean in a non-sticky sort of way, of course) tome prominently enough:
From Within The Belly of the Beast

From a reader:
Mr. Goldberg:

I've been enjoying my role as the black sheep, working part-time at a large Barnes and Noble in the Midwest while going to school. It really is great "working around all those books," but other perks include the many opportunities to throw my wrench into typical B&N chatter and other bouts of contrarianism. ...

- Since then, the five shortlisted copies [of Liberal Fascism] have been in two promotional "displays" when not hidden or exhausted; the current placement is in an octagon fixture in the aisle, not facing the entrance and practically on the floor. In other words, nearly impossible to find. (Chris Hedges' book on the other hand...) I quite enjoy telling the customer where the "thought squad" has placed his book and then
hashing over it afterwards.
This reminds me all too much of that time my late Prayer Warrior Cathy Seipp relayed a similarly harrowing tale of Persecution at the hands of one of these bookstore huns. The clerk was a suspected radical homosexual activist, which makes their treachery all the more obvious when you consider they're actively conspiring with Muslims to turn Our Nation into an authoritarian homosexualist monarchy headed by Rosie O'Donnel and Elton John. They clearly understand what a barricade to their unholy campaign Jonah's book is, and are resorting to predictably Gestapo-like tactics to squelch it. Semper Fi, Jonah, Semper Fi. Praise Him!

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