Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Wake up, America

Oh, if only we could return to those halcyon days when the financial services industry was under the dominion of the Jews and the worst thing we Christians had to worry about was the draining our blood for use in their satanic rituals. I don't think the Elders of Zion saw this one coming, but world banking has been taken over radical homosexual activists!
Your money could be funding more than your purchase. According to Stephen R. Bolt, president and co-founder of Faith Financial Planners, Inc., some of the most prominent endorsements of the homosexual and transgender agendas come from the financial services industry. ...

In a recent column for the American Family Association, Bolt gave an example of the problem in which he named major financial companies such as Wells Fargo, MetLife, JP Morgan Brown, John Hancock, Financial Services, and Washington Mutual as companies placing ads appealing to homosexuals or otherwise supporting the cultural lifestyle and lobbies.

"People for example, are unaware that when they get a mortgage from Washington Mutual, that [it[ is a huge supporter of the Human Rights Campaign, [which is[ by far the largest political lobbying organization on behalf of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equal rights, and everything that comes with it," says Bolt.

Washington Mutual and other companies such as Merrill Lynch, Citigroup and Prudential are also listed on HRC's website as proud sponsors of the political lobbying organization.
Evidently they weren't content with the stranglehold they had over Western Civilization with their domination of the entertainment industry, political lobbying, and the floral trade. Next thing you know, they'll be taking over the UN, and those formerly black helicopters will be painted glittery pink, blaring an extended remix of Kylie Minogue's "Come into My World" as they herd us into concentration camps and take control of the universe.

I can't tell which makes this tragedy worse: That it was only up until recently that the Jews even became of any use to us, or that Rapture came so tantalizingly close before being so cruelly snatched away from us. Either way, I'm so mad at these damn homos I can barely see straight, and will be fervently praying for their damnation doubletime. I'm going fight this latest betrayal the best way there is -- by loudly boycotting products I really didn't intend to buy anyways. Praise Him!

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

The evil that she-males do

Radical homosexual activists have enjoyed such remarkable successes in recruiting America's school children into their cross-dressing lifestyle that they've set their sights on a new target: alcoholics
Scottsdale bar owner Tom Anderson believes he was doing the right thing when he banned several transgender patrons from the club after women complained about cross-dressing men using the women's bathroom.

But one of the banned patrons, Michele deLaFreniere, has filed a discrimination complaint against Anderson's Fifth Estate.

The Arizona Attorney General's Office is investigating and a hearing is set for Aug. 7.

DeLaFreniere is chair of the Scottsdale Human Relations Commission and employed by the city, repairing bicycles through its Handlebar Helpers program.
Let's see -- transgendered and one of these alternative transportation enthusiasts? That's as dangerous a hybrid as being Muslim and belonging to a union, or being female and a Democrat. I do believe "Ms" DeLaFraniere tipped her hand with this one and revealed herself to be a card-carrying member of the Islezbofascist conspiracy, the same Fifth Column working overtime to bring you another 9/11 attack.

While these wreckers of Western Civilization claim that they're merely seeking the same level of protection under the law that Our Heavenly Father explicitly bequeathed to us straight white people in the Constitution, their actions show otherwise. These diabolical Tootsies are going after the Holy Grail of special rights: Ladies Night 2-for-1 drink coupons
"It looked like a man trying to get the ladies drink special," Anderson said of the cross-dressing patrons.
This more than anything threatens the extinction of the American race: The women of Our Nation won't be able to get drunk enough to perpetuate the species, and our men will be too drunk to tell the difference between biological females and their imposters. Increased competition for manly essence would surely have condemned borderline cases like Karen Hughes to a state of childlessness. And who's to say that it isn't already too late for Condi?

Christians, help preserve the bloodlines of Our Nation's royal families. We want our next generation of Republican leaders to wind up in prep school, not in a used condom in the back of a Camaro. Until trannies are banished from America's drinking establishments, the future of the country hangs in the balance. Praise Him!

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Don't hate him cuz he's beautiful

I've ignored the rash of stories about the Democrats' debasement of the Sacred arts of cosmetology for one simple reason: Their blatant attempts at passing themselves off as being well-groomed are as fraudulent as their masquerading as devout Christians, and I refuse to dignify their pathetic antics with a response. Both of these ploys stem from the desire of these dirty smelly hippies to seduce us Christians away from the Everlasting Arms of the Republican Party and into the voting booth with Satan. Does anyone seriously believe that, if elected, Barack Hussein Obama won't sprout a full head of dreadlocks for the inauguration and take his oath of office on the Koran, or that the Silky Pony won't sacrifice those luscious tresses to his pagan goat god, Pan, by using some horrible "all-natural" organic shampoo (and no conditioner)?

However, when I see Mitt Romney being subjected to the Persecution of The Left on account of his Faith (which is not quite Christianity, but at least he's a Republican), I feel compelled to speak out. In the world of our moonbat friends, it's quite the scandal that a Republican spent $2000 on makeup over the course of four years:
The perception that Mitt Romney is some sort of pretty-boy was burnished earlier this week when reports emerged that he spent $300 in campaign funds for makeup "consulting" this year.

It turns out Romney has maintained an expensive beauty regimen for years.

A RAW STORY analysis of Romney's campaign finance records during his time as Massachusetts governor shows he spent nearly $2,000 on makeup artists over four years. The personal-beautification spending was divided over six sessions to three separate companies. Individual makeup jobs ranged in price from $180 to $690.
For Pete's sake, people, I spend twice that on makeup every 6 months. Items like this only reinforce how out of touch The Left is with mainstream America if this qualifies as a big deal. If there's any story here, it's that Mormonism is so abstemious in its application of cosmetics that its relationship to Christianity is cast in a further suspect light. And while I don't think Mitt and his deviant band of sex cultists will ever find Salvation, I do believe makeup can show this lost tribe The Way. Praise Him!


Monday, July 16, 2007

HMS Sharia

England has traditionally relied upon the exportation of teabags, horrible pop acts, and crappy sports cars to keep its moribund economy afloat. Evidently those sorry offerings are no longer cutting it, so they've gone ahead and diversified. Thanks to their own activist judges, they can now add another disgraceful entry to that shameful bill of lading: slutty school girls
A British Deputy High Court judge ruled against a British school girl on Monday, saying that her wearing a purity ring was unacceptable at school.

The judge, Michael Supperstone QC, insisted that the ring is not a critical part of Lydia Playfoot’s Christian faith, and that it clearly violated her school’s dress code. Thus, she has no right to wear it. ...

Playfoot, along with eleven other girls at Millais School in Horsham, West Sussex, England, began the school year by sporting chastity rings as part of the “Silver Ring Thing” – an American-born Christian education project aimed at helping teenage girls value themselves and abstain from sex outside marriage.

Each ring has a carving that references to the biblical verse I Thessalonians 4:3-4, which reads, "God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honor."
Jewelry isn't a critical part of a Christian's faith? Even that satanic harlot, Hillary Clinton, has recognized the ceremonial importance of Christ-themed accessories. If someone as inherently Evil as Chairman Hillary has adopted Christian jewelry in her shameless attempts at passing herself off as something other than the baby-killing Communist shrew that she is, surely we can agree that baubles of Devotion on this wholesome Christian lass are as central to Christianity as attending church on Sundays, speaking in tongues, and voting Republican. This judge may as well have sold her into the white slavery.

Skeptics will try to point out that this miscarriage of justice happened in a different country with different laws and a different legal system, but they're trying to deflect attention away from one central fact: Muslims are scheming to take over America and force me and Debbie Schlussel to perform the Dance of the Thousand Veils for the pleasure of the sultan whose harem we're sold into:
The girls were asked to remove the rings, however, by school officials, citing that they were breaking the school’s dress code. But Playfoot refused, noting that other religious groups were able to wear faith-based items. Muslims can wear headscarves and Sikhs can wear Kara bracelets.
Coincidentally -- or perhaps not -- this travesty happened in England, the same country Fatso Moore applauded for its socialized medicine in his latest screed, Sicko. As a Christian and an American, I can't help but wonder how much of this anti-Christian, anti-American, pro-Sharia sentiment evident in this ruling isn't a product of the communism that has taken root in England. Will single-payer healthcare unleash a similar torrent of Christian persecution here in America, and finally establish the Caliphate Rosie O'Donnell has been plotting once and for all? I say one Massachusetts is enough. Call your congressman* and insist that he oppose national health insurance, and instead propose a national purity ring policy. It's what God Himself would want. Praise Him!

*if you've got a congresswoman, you're screwed.

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Diaper rash

The hypocrisy of The Left never ceases to amaze me. Ever since the phone number of Senator David Vitter appeared on the client records of the DC madam, moonbat bloggers have been making nonstop political hay out of the rumors that he may have donned a diaper and filled it with his homemade chocolat. In the twisted world of The Left, this somehow qualifies as "hypocrisy, " which is only a big deal if you're a white male Republican. You're not going to hear one word of judgment about it out of the mouths of our liberals friends, but America is just filled with people dying to shit their pants:
Sometimes, you can’t stop your weight-loss secrets from leaking out.

Dieters have been flocking to drugstores to pick up Alli, the first over-the-counter weight-loss pill to be approved by the Food and Drug Administration, despite the scary warning: Stray too far from your low-fat diet and you just might poop your pants.

The drug’s maker, GlaxoSmithKline, has been up front about the pill’s side effects, suggesting that first timers wear dark pants or bring a change of clothes to work until they get used to the diet pill’s potentially yucky consequences.
I'd like to point out that while this article goes to great lengths not to identify the gender of these incontinence enthusiasts (much in the same way MSM doesn't identify terrorists as Muslims), the two named Alli users are both women. That, plus the fact that more women go on diets than do men, leads me to believe that it is feminists(!!!) who are coordinating this attack on Senator Vitter, as well as orchestrating this campaign of silence about their own scatological predilections. The tragic consequences of this are twofold: Not only will another Christian white male be ritually sacrificed to the pagan gods of The Left, but the media hoopla will be unfairly focused on Mr. Vitter's alleged indiscretions, allowing feminists and their fellow conspirators to escape any scrutiny whatsoever and continue to brainwash our daughters into their pants-soiling ideology. These are dark days for us conservative bloggers, but rest assured I will continue to devote all my coffee breaks to fighting for the Righteous cause of Senator Vitter. Praise Him!

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Thursday, July 12, 2007


This is Outrageous. Just days after my Prayer Warriors warn us of the growing threat of lesbian gangs who've been savagely terrorizing the Christian citizenry, Christianpost.com, a purported "Christian" news site (and potential candidate for inclusion to the exalted rank of Prayer Warrior -- dream on, fellas), runs a story on inner-city gang violence and doesn't mention the L-word once. It's as if the limp yet invisible wrist of radical homosexual activists erased every reference to this gathering storm:
Teens from across the nation were brought to the doorsteps of Congress Thursday to speak out about increased gang violence in the United States and propose tactics to combat the problem from the perspective of people who have been personally affected by the nation’s growing gang and crime problems.
Like lesbian gangs who publicly shamed them for their patriarchal thinking or shook them down for their lunch money in order to buy Melissa Etheridge cds -- it's like crack cocaine to these people.
Ninety teens from metropolitan cities such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York as well as other cities from areas including rural Georgia and West Virginia were selected by the Christian humanitarian organization World Vision to meet with members of Congress to discuss gang violence prevention.
Yes, I understand that the lesbian gang problem is especially fierce in rural Georgia and West Virginia, where lesbian gang members are known to sport tattoos of the Indigo Girls and Robert Byrd, respectively.
Some of the young advocates have also suffered traumatic gang-related experiences such as one participant from Los Angeles who witnessed her brother’s murder due to gang violence, and another young woman from Chicago whose cousin was killed and whose house was recently shot at.
Far be it from me to belittle their suffering, but what about the scores of people gang-raped by lesbians brandishing dildos or strangled by their bolo ties? Don't these victims of gang violence warrant a mention? Or does political correctness banish their personal tragedies from the sphere of public discourse?
The prevailing concern among the youth leaders, which they emphasized during their meetings with congressmen, was over policy changes that address prevention. Teens agreed that in order to address the root cause of youth violence, the government needs to prevent kids from joining a gang or crime-related activities in the first place.
Yes, the government should prevent activities like lesbianism, or girl's PE. There's certainly no telling how many lesbian gang members were recruited into their lives of crime during Title IX-mandated volleyball, but if this pandemic I've been hearing about is any indication, it must number in the tens of thousands.
Suggestions for keeping kids away from gangs and off the streets include more after-school activities, providing more places where youths can feel safe and build friendships, and offering more mentoring programs.
And outlawing lesbianism. If you do that, America's gang problem will clear up overnight, although the countries where these lesbians are deported to will most likely experience a surge in gang-related lesbian activity.
In addition, the teen representatives strongly urged more employment opportunities for young adults to keep them away from relying on drug trade for money.
Or becoming lesbians. God knows that "womyn's" music these "ladies" are so fond of makes this Sinful lifestyle look irresistibly cool. In this subculture, depicted with appalling explicitness on MTV and VH1, lesbianism, unemployment, and lawlessness go hand in hand, contributing to a sense of nihilism and anomie that has caused the lesbian gang problem we are now experiencing to explode.

When I see reporting this shoddy, I am reminded of one dire fact: Not even "conservative" media outlets are free of the liberal bias and sinister meddling of radical homosexual activists. Christians, be certain you're getting your news from accurate and reliable sources like FoxNews and WorldNetDaily, or before you know it, you'll find that your own children have been inculcated into this criminal sex-cult. Praise Him!

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Nancy, get your gun

In the past, I've routinely dismissed criticism of the Department of Homeland Security's performance as the usual rantings of unhinged liberals and like-minded perverts who love Hillary and hate America. Then some of my Prayer Warriors got in on the act, which threw me for a while, and -- dare I say it? -- made even me question their patriotism. That sense of unease cleared up, though, when I deduced that it was because Ted Kennedy had wrested control of the department out of the hands of the Freedom-lovers, and had instructed border patrol officers to dress up like Good Humor men and give out Klondike Bars and road maps to the illegals they happened upon crossing the Sonoran Desert. However, when I learn that The Left has unleashed marauding gangs of lesbians to terrorize the streets of Our Nation without a concomitant rise in the threat level to red, I, too, must voice a note of distrust with this agency. Maybe DHS is playing politics with National Security -- for the benefit of the moonbats!!!

Needless to say, we're on tactical alert here at Sister Nancy Beth World Ministries International Headquarters, a 9-11(c)(e)* corporation, particularly since the the dossier of credible evidence about these jihadists in flannel continues to grow. This could very well be the spectacular terrorist attack on American soil that Al Qaeda has been plotting since 9/11, but something about the involvement of lesbians tells me that this will be a thousand times worse: An armada of pimped-out Subarus blasting Cris Williamson will roam our streets; afro-pics will dangle menacingly from their mullets; they'll terrorize man, woman, and child alike with their threats to have Rosie replace Bob Barker on The Price is Right -- or OMG! Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News! -- and they'll kick our collective asses in tennis, soccer, and softball. Oh, the humanity. Michael Chertoff and his spineless underlings may want us to keep our pretty little heads buried in the sand, but I've got the duct tape and plastic sheeting ready for the first blare of the civil defense sirens.

Unsurprisingly, these hirsute daughters of Bilitis have managed to mount a Fifth Column to assist them with their latest onslaught. I extend my deepest thanks to Prayer Warriors World Net Daily for tipping us off to these atrocities, effectively proving that these vicious lesbo gangs and the radical homosexual activists and uncivil liberal bloggers who have come to their aid are tapping the same deadly well of Islezbofascism:
Two news stories about hundreds of lesbian gangs attacking and raping young girls in schools and other public locations have prompted a backlash against the reporters by members of the homosexual community.

The broadcasts by Memphis television station WPTY and Fox News host Bill O'Reilly quoted law enforcement authorities, victims, and even some gang members to document the growing number of attacks on young girls by lesbian gang members. ...
But the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, which had tried to suppress the Memphis report before it aired, issued a statement charging the reporting was "without … one solid statistic or credible source."

Rashad Robinson, GLAAD's senior director of media programs, called the reporting "inaccurate tabloid journalism" and said it "perpetuates dangerous stereotypes about lesbians and feeds a climate of homophobia, anti-gay discrimination and violence."

Participants in several blogs simply ridiculed the reports. A writer who was identified as "Idaho Librul" told the "From the Left" website: "Thank goodness for Bill O'Reilly! I saw a group of rampaging lesbians just the other day going up and down my street. Oh wait a minute, come to think of it, they were Girl Scouts selling cookies. But I was terrified!"

On the After Ellen blog, another wrote, "Yes, it's true, we're just one cell short of being a full-fledged terrorist network. Don't bother asking us where bin Laden is – we'll never tell."
Absolutely chilling -- evil doesn't get distilled into a purer form than that.

Christians, Michelle Malkin has deputized all of us to be Jane Does, citizen warriors, and I do not take this responsibility lightly. I have already reported two women to the FBI for having suspiciously short hair and uncoordinated outfits, and I encourage all of you to be similarly vigilant. Praise Him!

*changed everything!

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technical difficulties

Sorry for the silence on this end, Christians. Jesus and I got a new computer a couple of weeks ago, and I am convinced Vista is a tool of Satan himself.* It was clearly devised with the explicit purpose of persecuting us Christians, and my recent experience with "error code 1714" while trying to update Adobe Reader leads me to believe that that may in fact be the true number of the Beast. Throw in the pop-up blocking monomania of the anti-spyware program (had it been around, it would have prevented the Resurrection itself), and hopefully you can understand why I haven't been especially eager to spend that much time behind a computer, as it's sapped the whole blogging enterprise of the joy I usually feel while bringing The Word to my flock. Jesus makes one hell of an IT guy, so any credit for the fact that I haven't thrown this piece of shit through our living room window goes directly to Him. Praise Him!

*I am not referring to Bill Clinton in this instance.


Thursday, July 05, 2007


President Bush has long advocated that we take the fight to the terrorists over there in order to avoid having to fight them over here, but thanks to the treasonous efforts of Rosie O'Donnell, the Dixie Chicks, MSM, et al., they're already here, and nestled deep within the bosom of West Hollywood's Sunni Triangle:
If President Bush or Vice President Dick Cheney were ever to be impeached, their foes could cite this Independence Day as a milestone — the day that the nation's first "impeachment headquarters" opened its doors in a storefront near the Beverly Center.

"This is an impeachment 4th of July," Byron De Lear, a Green Party activist, said Wednesday. He called removing Bush and Cheney "a patriotic duty to restore the integrity of the United States."

Those assembled cited various Bush actions or policies, including "lies that led the U.S. into war."

They also said that Bush--Cheney policies precipitated torture, illegal spying on American citizens, and the curtailment of privacy and civil rights in the name of fighting terrorism.
What incivility! I've never seen such unvarnished hatred for Freedom, and I monitor a lot of moonbat blogs. Had they bothered to read this Constitution they're always going on about (rather than doing their usual ranting and raving over at Democratic Underground and spamming the comments sections of conservative blogs), they'd realize that the only grounds for impeachment that can even pass Constitutional muster these days are getting your wang sucked by a rotund Jewess. If there's any consolation in this, it's is that their hippie rap sessions are most likely being infiltrated by FBI agents as we speak, and with a little luck, they'll all be shipped off to Gitmo. Praise Him!

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy Birthday, America

Our Nation turns 231 years old today, and boy, does she look great for her age! Lady Liberty, what's your secret? Have you been losing weight?

"I've finally managed to shed a few of those pesky civil rights I've been trying to lose for the past 200 years."

Well, you've never looked better. From every mountain top, let Freedom ring!
I've got my presidential pardon all lined up, so I'm going to share with you my top secret recipe. This one has made me the toast of all the potlucks, barbecues, picnics, and family gatherings I protest, and I'm confident it will do the same for you. It's so good you'll forget to say "Grace" before you dig in, so get ready to have your taste buds tantalized with Sister Nancy Beth's Freedom Salad:
one 12 oz. can of Three Bean Salad
salt & pepper, to taste
American Flag toothpicks

Open can and empty contents into serving bowl. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, as desired. Garnish liberally (this is the only time I like that word!) with flag toothpicks. Serve and enjoy.
Have a happy Fourth, everybody, and since The Left has banned firecrackers here in California, be sure to blow something up for me. Praise Him!

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Big surprise here

Somehow, while our scientists were toiling around the clock to devise the bomb that would turn enemy combatants into limp-wristed pickle-puffers, The Left managed to beat them to the punch, at least when it comes to the ladies. So what is this perfect weapon for turning previously straight, Christian housewives into raving lezbos? Why, it's femininism, naturally:
A 53-year-old university professor and campaigner for legalized same-sex marriage in the UK said she was once a married "happy heterosexual" who had no doubts about her sexual orientation, but political activity and involvement in feminist causes "changed" her into a lesbian.

Sue Wilkinson, professor of Feminist and Health Studies at Loughborough University, told the London Times that her 17-year marriage to her husband had been a good one. ...

"I was never unsure about my sexuality throughout my teens or 20s. I was a happy heterosexual and had no doubts," said Wilkinson.

"Then I changed, through political activity and feminism, spending time with women's organizations. It opened my mind to the possibility of a lesbian identity."
I dare say I've long suspected as much. Back in my days of higher education, I witnessed the hostile takeover of my beauty school by a cadre of truculent dykes who preached the unholy gospel of "natural beauty": short hair, thumb rings, flats, & minimal eye makeup. It was only a matter of time before the more weak-willed among us fell under the spell of the black arts of lesbianism.

The article doesn't address the risks associated with exposing males to feminism, but anecdotal evidence suggests that even minimal contact is as harmful to Our Nation's men as it is to women, resulting in seizures, sensitivity to light, higher incidence of dick-sucking, shrinking genitalia, enlargement of the breasts, and an aversion to voting Republican. As you can see, this presents a Homeland Security crisis of the highest order, so until feminism is assessed as high a threat to National Security as militant Islam, the future of Our Nation is in peril. Praise Him!

UPDATE from comments: Loyal Nancy-Con Corpus Callosum informs us of the following: "The Devil's work --feminism-- has many negative consequences. These are not limited to the pernicious effects on women. It also has increased alcoholism, low educational achievement, criminality, and suicide in men." So feminism not only presents a national security risk, it's a public health problem, as well. Would anyone be surprised to learn that feminism is the leading cause global warming (that really isn't happening, btw)?

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Sunday, July 01, 2007

A big fat pack of lies

Christians, although it will shock you to learn that I would even consider viewing pornography like this, I made it a point to protest a screening of Michael Moore's Sicko this weekend. Please don't judge me too harshly, I ask you, because I did it out of my sense of Devotion to the conservative movement. This shameless piece of trash will try to degrade political discourse even further by introducing many toxic ideas into the national conversation about health care, and in order to have an enlightened debate on the subject, we must know the talking points of the enemies of Freedom.

Among the arguments we can expect the moonbats to be making in the wake of this "film" are the likes of the following: That the mission of insurance companies has become to deliver exorbitant salaries to their CEOs and quarterly profits to their shareholders, rather than providing services that benefit their members; that countries like Canada, England, France, and Cuba have functioning nationalized health services that meet -- if not actually exceed -- the basic needs of their people; that the profit motive has so corrupted our system of care that hospitals are willing to throw out those who are unable to pay like so much human garbage.

There may be a kernel of truth buried somewhere deep within these arguments, possibly, but proponents of health care reform repeatedly insist on overlooking one quintessential fact: That Michael Moore is fat. Sure, maybe health insurance could follow the same paradigm for public ownership as the Postal Service, or public safety institutions like police and fire departments, but because Michael Moore's ass is so huge it has a seat on the UN Security Council, the hands of our policymakers are tied. And while it's heartbreaking that a catastrophic illness could force a family out of their home, compromising the American Dream, I'm not so sure that Michael Moore wants to insure every American so much as dip them in ranch dressing and devour them.

So until Michael Moore is ready to own up to his part in this mess he's helped create and drop at least fifty pounds, there's really no point in engaging in a dialog on the topic with these liberals,particularly when they're so unhinged on the topic. But I can't be the only one bringing the voice of reason to this debate. I strongly advise you all to bring a clothes pin for your nose and see this leftarded propaganda for yourself, just so you'll be better able to engage the enemy and show him the fallacy of his reasoning. Praise Him!

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More like this please

As a Christian, I find that the counsel I most usually give to those seeking it is for temperance, restraint, discipline, and self-denial -- except, of course, when it come to writing about me. No sooner do I dangle the tantalizing possibility of a Blog About Sister Nancy Beth Day at some time in the distant future (patience, children) than loyal Nancy-Con Proud Progressive delights our senses with this stunning paean to myself:
After all it is "she" who does the yeoman's work battling the Lavender Menace and leftie moonbats, despite obstacles that conspire against her. Living in West Hollywood,the opportunities to protest radical Homosexuals are endless and exhausting. Many are called, but few are chosen. Lucky for America, Sister Nancy Beth finds creative ways to protest and alert us to the ongoing threat to our Nation. At the gym,local gay bars,the green grocers and above all at Conchita's Unisex Beauty Palace,where you can just imagine the persecution she endures on a daily basis.
Excellent use of scare quotes around "she." I have taught you well.

Obviously Proud Progressive has set the bar pretty high for the rest of you when Blog About Sister Nancy Beth Day does finally come, so to ensure that the rest of you don't disappoint me, I'll give you a hint about what I'd like: a phalanx of ribbon dancers, a children's choir, commemorative poetry by someone of the caliber of Maya Angelou (only preferably not female, or black -- do you think Lee Greenwood is available?), a series of collectible plates from Franklin Mint, red white and blue bouquets (make sure there's none of that cheap baby's breath shit), a modest pyrotechnics display, and bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace" (retitled "Amazing Nancy Beth" for the occasion). And if someone could arrange to have Hugh Hewitt do a striptease (with tassels) to "Let the Eagle Soar," that would be pretty hot. Praise Him!