Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

In Memoriam

Oops, sorry about that unplanned sabbatical, Christians. My schedule is overflowing with the workaday Persecution I suffer here at the Beauty Palace M-F, and when you figure in my early morning protests at the gym, my Sunday dose of Outrage at Our Lady of the Denunciation, the obligatory brunchtime protest with the girls afterwards, and my weekly Persecution at guitar lessons (plus trying to practice 3-4 times a week for it), there hasn't a lot of time for blogging.

I've also had to tend more than usual to the needs of Jesus, who is being Persecuted by His medical program with a severity not even that noted theologian and chronicler of contemporary martyrdom, Chuck Norris, could fathom. Part of this quarter's curriculum is "organic" chemistry, whose name should be a dead giveaway to the depths of the anti-Christian & anti-American bias contained therein, as organic anything is just a thinly veiled attempt by The Left to promote neighborhood recycling programs while turning us into homosexuals. "Fuck this! I'm calling in The Rapture," He's remarked on more than one occasion, usually after spending far too many hours staring at the diagram for methylethylpolysomething-or-other.

"Now Jesus," I've sternly intoned, "If you let Armageddon start before Republican majorities can be restored to Congress and Democrats get credit for bringing on The Rapture, you know I'll never forgive you. I won't say one word to you in the Hereafter. I mean it." Which seems to work, for now, but it'll be touch and go until finals with this one, I can tell.

But if anything could jolt me out of my quasi-semi-non-official hiatus, it would be the death of Prayer Warrior Jerry Falwell, a great spiritual teacher who taught me, as well as millions like me, that behind even the most innocent facade, radical homosexual activists are poised, like crouching tigers (or hidden dragons, or something), ready and waiting to violate our rosy trapdoors the second Our Nation lets its unsuspecting guard down. While it grieves me to know that he died before he could fully expunge the American airwaves of the menace of homosexual cartoon characters, thereby preventing another 9/11 attack, at least his croaking inspired me to blog again: Brother Jerry, it was not in vain. Praise Him!

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