Habitat for carnality

Could there possibly be a worse human being on the face of the earth than Jimmy Carter? Not content with visually raping every woman he encounters, sharing his opera box with lard-ass of note Michael Moore, or reducing neighborhood property values with his vanity welfare housing project, this sworn enemy of Israel has now decided to take his wrecking ball to the moral undergirdings of Our Nation, the armed services, and turn their bases into giant gay bathhouses:

Former President Jimmy Carter issued a statement yesterday urging the United States military drop its “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy regarding homosexuals in the military.

"The nation’s commitment to human rights requires that lawmakers revisit ’Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ the current policy that prevents lesbians, gays and bisexuals from serving openly in our armed forces," Carter said in an exclusive statement to the homosexual activist group, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN).

Carter told the SLDN that the current prohibition “regulates a group of citizens then prohibits them from identifying themselves and speaking up on their own behalf.”

Carter also added, “The estimated 65,000 gay men and women who currently are serving our country honorably deserve respect” and mentioned that over 11,000 homosexual servicemen have been dismissed since “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Outrageous! As any Patriot can tell you, only the vigorous expulsion of homosexuals from the armed forces (and, of course, the spiritual guidance of Ronald Reagan) kept America from falling under the the domination of those godless communists. It's sad The Left has chosen to neglect the lessons of the Cold War so soon, particularly with the Global War on Terror raging on... but if you stop to consider that liberals never really wanted us to prevail against the Soviets to begin with, perhaps it's not that surprising that they would try to sabotage our military this way.

It's no coincidence that as social tolerance of homosexuality increases, America's military superiority diminishes. Do the math: Would America have had to flee from Vietnam had "Norman, Is That You" not introduced a generation of young American males to the illicit thrills of salt & pepper buttsex, thereby making them ineligible for duty ? Could Iran have held 52 Americans hostage if women's tennis in the 70's hadn't become synonymous with mulleted sapphism, luring hordes of American women down the sinful path of physical fitness and macrame instead of joining the WACs? Would the construction of Iraq 2.0, a bustling, newly Christian, free-market Utopia, already have been completed had "Miss" Melissa Etheridge not received an Oscar for her contributions to An Inconvenient Truth, a film prominently featuring vocal anti-war critic Al Gore, who is also fat? The answer, of course, is obvious.

To retain her position as the ruler of the Free World, America must wage war on many fronts, often simultaneously. Not only must she duke it out with our enemies abroad (Iran, Afghanistan, and until recently, France), but also with those that would threaten her here: homos, Democrats, environmentalists, ethnic minorities, vegetarians -- you name it. That these people would elect Jimmy Carter to be their president speaks volumes of the seriousness of the threat they pose. By keeping their lavender comrades out of the military, and eventually purging it even equally undesirable strains, can we hope to restore Our Nation to greatness and be a beacon of Freedom unto the world. Praise Him!