Glamour to the rescue

What a relief it is to see that Our President is finally getting serious about the war against Islezbofascism. Get ready to hear The Left howl about trivial concerns like collateral damage and head wounds, because he's unleashing the mightiest weapon in our arsenal -- beauty queens!

Jessica Gaulke is trading in her sash as a Minnesota beauty queen for Army fatigues—and Iraq.

Gaulke, who was chosen Minneapolis Aquatennial Queen of the Lakes in July, is giving up her title because her National Guard unit has been activated for duty. The 22-year-old Augsburg College sociology student will be going to the Mideast as a diesel generator mechanic.

"It really wasn't a decision that was mine to be made," said Gaulke. "My unit's going. I've accepted it. It's part of the whole scope of why I joined; I'll be there for all of us over here."

Gaulke said being Queen of the Lakes, Minnesota's best-known festival royalty, is "a huge honor," but she said she is simply honoring the agreement she made when she committed to the Guard before her senior year in high school.

This blog has advocated the use of American military superiority to further Christ-based cosmetology in the Arab world practically from its inception, so it's gratifying to see that President Bush is paying attention to the net roots, although not in time to save the Republicans in Congress. Better late than never, I suppose, and this definitely paves the way for a comeback in 2008.

There's no indication how many of the 20,000 additional troops being considered for Iraq are beauty pageant winners, but no doubt their exemplary personal grooming skills are pivotal for quelling the incipient civil war. As a battle-scarred veteran of the Iraqi campaign's blogging division myself, I wish Ms. Gaulke and her sisters the safest of deployments and the speediest of returns. More importantly, I pray that the Democrats' toxic defeatism doesn't turn any of these former beauty queens into unshorn, microphone-hogging Cindy Sheehan clones, and that any beauty schools they repaint will not go summarily ignored by MSM. Lastly -- girls, please listen up -- should they ever feel compelled to put a chem-light up a detainee's ass in the name of Freedom, may it be far, far away from the camera's lense. Praise Him!