Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Couture of Death

I've often agonized over what the best course of action to take is when my favorite retailers pull up stakes due to market forces. Thanks to National Review, I see that my impulses have been right all along: You accuse them of being cogs in the blood-spattered Abortionist machine! Today, Prayer Warrior C. R. Hardy explains how the transition of her local GapKids into a GapBody is yet another move by The Left to turn Our Nation into one big polymorphously perverse daisy chain:
Harvard students are more interested in sex — or in feeling sexy — than in kids. Feeling sexy, however, often leads to sex, and sex often leads to kids. Ahem. Or at least to pregnancies. Which is why blue America sweepingly (and coercively) supports choice. They want the sex, but not the kids. The kids are much too costly. To the pocketbook, yes, but most of all to a particular lifestyle more interested in today’s consumption than tomorrow’s production.

Enter defense of illegal immigration (workers need to come from somewhere), abortion and the Pill (for the sexiness without the kids), and support for gay marriage (because what does sex have to do with kids, anyway?). I'm reminded of Walker Percy’s 1971 summary of what the left stands for: LEFTPAPASANE —- Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, The Pill, Atheism, Pot, Anti-Pollution, Sex, Abortion Now, Euthanasia. Think much has changed?

So it is poignant that GapBody has replaced GapKids in one of the most highly charged centers of left-wing idea-production. Another generation of Harvard students will be weaned into adulthood on a steady dose of feeling sexy (even during the day) and covering up the consequences of all that sexiness by whatever means necessary.
This is nearly identical to the letters I sent Cinnabon when they closed their Beverly Center branch. "It may make fiscal sense to cut and run from West Hollywood's Sunni Triangle," I cautioned them, "but it is an enormous blow to Freedom nevertheless. When the book is finally written on how Our Nation succumbed to Islezbofascism, your refusal to serve carb-heavy snacks will be seen as the act of appeasement truly was. The domino effect your withdrawal will have practically guarantees that this city remains a bastion of homosexuality, and that abortion will remain legal. And if I have to go to the Glendale Galleria to buy one of your cinnamon rolls, the terrorists have finally won."

Sadly, my letters went unanswered, just as I'm sure Mrs. Hardy's entreaties on behalf of Taste and Decency will go similarly ignored. However, the important thing to remember is that we lobbied retailers on behalf of Civic Virtue, and they often send 15% off coupons to sooth Freedom's ruffled feathers... so be sure to check your mail. Praise Him!

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