Charleston Babylon

Perhaps the most onerous task I perform as a conservative blogger is monitoring The Left's frequent attempts to use makeup to debase Our Nation's Glory. Sadly, another instance of their inveterate depravity has shown up on my radar screen:

A state senator said he is evaluating whether to continue his bid for a second term after a Charleston television station aired revealing pictures of him last week.

"My family has urged me not to withdraw from the election and I will work with them to make a decision in the immediate future," State Sen. Randy White, a Webster County Democrat, said in a letter to newspapers in his district.

An apologetic White also wrote that he was "shocked" and "horribly embarrassed" after WCHS-TV aired photos depicting him and at least two other men wearing only body paint.

While body paint lacks the ceremonial imprimatur of Maybelline (and has been taken hostage by face-painting hippies and mimes), it does reflect humanity's primordial yearning to connect with the Divine through the application of cosmetics, a strain of theology that has reached its apotheosis in my ministry of Christian cosmetology. Covering a Democrat's naughty bits with it is an act of blasphemy on par with submerging a Crucifix in urine.

MSM, in their usual mendacity, is trying to portray this as some sort of blackmail attempt, but Christians, do not be fooled. This is a courageous act of resistance to expose the latest treacheries of The Left:

The pictures were taken approximately two years ago in private and were stolen from my personal computer," said White, 51, a married father of three. "I am not sure why they were given to the media, but I must assume for obvious political reasons."

WCHS said it received the photos anonymously on a compact disc. The various photos, censored by the station, were shown for about 80 seconds during a 5-minute news segment alleging White was the apparent victim of a blackmail plot. The station aired the segment during several newscasts last week.

White did not mention extortion during a brief Monday interview with The Associated Press or in Tuesday's letter. White wrote that he had been working with his family to overcome a "personal identification situation" and to overcome depression for which he has been treated through medication for over a year.

"I am a religious person and have been for some months praying to God to help my family and me through this tragic and troubling episode in my life," the letter said.

Senator White obviously recognizes the Sacramental importance of cosmetology, but his attempts at Redemption are bound to fail so long as that -D is appended to his name. I encourage him to immerse himself in the infinite love of Christ found only in the Republican Party, where even the gravest transgressions are met with forgiveness. Praise Him!