Sister Nancy Beth: Truthsayer

I don't know about the rest of you Christians, but the allegations that the Republican leadership of the House disregarded reports of Congressman Foley's attempts to sexually exploit minors had me in a state of moral Outrage all weekend long. As a member of the Party of Personal Responsibility, I feel I have a Sacred duty to Our Nation to ensure that the guilty receive their proper chastisement. Therefore, I hereby give a verbal flogging with Sister Nancy Beth's cat-o'-nine-tails to those parties who brought us this sordid affair:

† Democrats: Evidently Capitol Hill insiders have known about these allegations for nearly a year now, so why did the Demoncrats wait until five weeks before the mid-term elections before condemning Foley and the Republican leadership? The only reason I can think of is because they hate Democracy. The radical extremists on The Left have so defiled the concept of an opposition party that they're willing to exploit tawdry events like this for their own partisan gain, regardless of the cost that their Politics of Personal Destruction has on Our Nation's rightful Republican hegemony. They care as much about the effects of their cynical spinning and manipulation as the 9/11 hijackers cared about the World Trade Center workers; in fact, I dare say they may even care less. Disgraceful!

† The National Education Association: If there were ever a time for widespread cultural soul-searching about the decrepit state of public education, this is it. What are they teaching Our Nation's youth to turn them into such savory morsels of jailbait? Not even Republican congressmen are able to resist their siren's song, for Pete's sake. When Students Go Wild, Freedom pays the price, as Mr. Foley can attest. It's time to return to the days of the little red schoolhouse instead of the little red whorehouse. Let's start by mandating that Intelligent Design be added to the curriculum, along with generous helpings of privatization, Prayer, and segregation.

† Hollywood: Once upon a time, vulgarity of the sort seen in Congressman Foley's IM session was the exclusive province of adult bookstore patrons and public school teachers. Then Al Gore came along and invented the Internets, and before you knew it, Hollywood was ferociously waging its digital jihad against Our Nation's Virtue, degrading our morals to the point that even a skank like Elton John could have a career. Nowadays, everyone with a computer can log on and join the national debate on what constitutes a Dirty Sanchez -- everyone except Republican lawmakers, that is. Talk about your double standards and the boundless hypocrisy of The Left!

† The unnamed former page: While it is still unclear is whether this 16 year old jezebeau is really a Democratic operative groomed by the Pelosi-Jugend to throw the 2006 elections in favor of the Islezbofascists, one thing is certain: This little House-wrecker has a brilliant career ahead of him in the Democratic Party, where sexual depravity assures a 100% approval rating from the NARAL & MoveOn goons. Hell, they may have even found Hillary's future running mate. Congratulations, kid, you've finally made it.

Since the investigation into this matter has yet to begin in earnest, there are most assuredly more bad actors whose misdeeds are waiting be uncovered. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to see the following rogues gallery taking the Fifth before Congress: Jimmy Carter, Jack Murtha, Susan Sarandon, and Michael Moore (if only for being fat). Let's hope America rights Itself and abandons the present course of political thuggery the Democrats are leading us on so that Freedom can once again prevail. Praise Him!