Blessed are the merchandisers

Not even the liberal Los Angeles Times can ignore the the hottest trend in Christendom: shopping your way to the Pearly Gates. In a rare instance of not committing treason, they introduce us to the must-have products every Christian gal needs in her shopping cart in order to secure her one-way ticket to Salvation:

Virtuous Woman perfume comes packaged with a passage from Proverbs. But what makes the floral fragrance distinctly Christian, Hobbs said, is that it's supposed to be a tool for evangelism.

"It should be enticing enough to provoke questions: 'What's that you're wearing?' " Hobbs said. "Then you take that opportunity to speak of your faith. They've opened the door, and now they're going to get it." ...

How gratifying that in an age when The Left is routinely using perfume to promote its agenda of hermaphroditism (c.f. CK One, Charlie), somebody is taking a stand for the traditional gender roles laid out in The Bible. And I sure could have used a bottle of Virtuous Woman today after that second can of Hormel Cheezy Mac N Beef for lunch, which I explained to my aggrieved coworkers was the smell of Sin wafting in from the video store across the parking lot.

Fortunately, it's not only we ladies who are the beneficiaries of this marketing trend. Your husband can even be reminded of his God-given Dominance every time he shoots and kills one of God's creations:

Christian Outdoorsman was taking orders for a camouflage baseball cap with a red cross. In Booth 235, Revelation Products of St. Louis was pitching golf balls and flip-flops. Follow the Son flip-flops have patterned soles that leave the message "Follow Jesus" in the sand.

Gospel Golf Balls are touted as "a great golf ball with a greater purpose." Manufactured by Top-Flite, the golf balls are printed with well-known verses from the Bible, such as John 3:16 ("For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…. "). Dave Kruse, president of Revelation, said they were meant as "conversation starters," to help men share their faith while teeing up.

I myself have vowed to never again play golf again (credit a horrifying misunderstanding at Dinah Shore Weekend that I'd really rather forget about), but if I did, I would have loved having my golf balls emblazoned with Matthew 27:25 ("Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children."). Far more Inspirational and much more to the point* if you ask me.

Unfortunately, since this is the LA Times, they had to find some way of mocking Our Faith. The obligatory Christian-bashing comes via their quoted "expert":

The effect of such products, according to political scientist Alan Wolfe, is to create almost a parallel universe, one that allows Christians to withdraw from the world instead of engaging it as Christ commanded.

"It's as if they're saying the task of bringing people to Jesus is too hard, so let's retreat into a fortress," said Wolfe, who directs the Boisi Center for Religion and American Public Life at Boston College.

"Evangelism is about reaching out and converting the unsaved," Wolfe said. "This is about putting a fence around people who are already saved. It strikes me as if they're giving up."

Whatever, Heather. We're not saying it's too hard, we're just saying they're not worth it. Praise Him!

*But I staunchly support Israel, right or wrong! [UPDATE: Wrong? What was I thinking?]