Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

America's next top menace

I'm sure if that raving nancy Andy Warhol were alive today, he'd muse how on the internets, everyone will be History's Greatest Monster for fifteen minutes. Last week we saw that honor bequeathed upon Deb Frisch, who found that making threats against a two year old child could catapult her from total obscurity to the poster child of What's Wrong With The Left and topic number one amongst the blogging glitterati.* The fact that this honor was available to a nobody like Frisch shows how extensively blogging has leveled the playing field: it's made the possibility of receiving a frigate's worth of scorn from third tier right-wing pundits available to anyone. Could anything be more small-d democratic?

That got me thinking: Who will be the next person to be named History's Greatest Monster? We'll let the BLOGOSPHERE decide! Read over the list of nominees who embody this newly opened frontier and cast your vote. Ballot integrity is guaranteed by Diebold -- Praise Them!

John Cougar Mellencamp: My Prayer Warriors at Newsmax have tipped us off to the latest Hollywood Celebrity to come come Unhinged:

Former Vice President Dan Quayle walked out of a John Mellencamp concert in Nevada this weekend after the performer took a verbal shot at President George W. Bush.

Quayle, who served as vice president from 1989-93 with Bush’s father, President George H.W. Bush, left the concert after Mellencamp dedicated his rendition of "Walking Tall” to "everyone hurt by the policies of the current Bush administration,” according to the San Jose Mercury News.

Quayle immediately left the concert. He later said through a publicist, "Well, I think Mellencamp’s performance was not very good to begin with, and the comment put it over the top.”
Unmentioned in this piece is the dustup that occurred between the two over the correct spelling of the song "R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A."

Angela Merkel: What is it with these frigid European man-haters? The Honor of having the Leader of the Free World lovingly caress your shoulders is rivaled only by having Jeff Goldstein slap you in the face with his masterful cock. You swoon and and melt into his arms and go all Molly Bloom on his ass; you don't grimace like Condi Rice just walked by and cut one. Show some appreciation, sister, 'cause you've just given the moonbats half-megaton warhead for their anti-Bush jihad.

Valerie Plame: [h/t: loyal Nancy-Cons Needlenose] Evidently her menial desk job of sorting binder clips at the CIA didn't give this publicity-hungry whore enough time to bask in the limelight, so now she's dragging the good names of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove through the mud in order to get more of the attention she so desperately craves:

The suit filed last week by Plame and her husband, former Ambassador Joe Wilson, against Bush biggies -- Veep Dick Cheney, Cheney's former chief of staff Scooter Libby and Bush guru Karl Rove -- is equally nonsensical. As CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin put it, "I think this lawsuit ranks somewhere between an actual lawsuit and a publicity stunt."

"She wasn't fired," noted attorney Victoria Toensing, who served in the Reagan administration. "She worked for two and a half years (at the CIA) after the revelation. Nobody fired her. She's got a book deal she would not have had."

And, I'll add, Plame's deal to write her memoirs for Simon & Schuster -- after a $2.5 million deal with Crown Publishing fell through -- is not stopping the Wilsons from making online solicitations to bankroll "counseling them for their potential witness testimony" in Libby's trial and/or their dubious lawsuit. They need counseling to testify?

Pathetic. I can't recall seeing anyone this desperate to make herself a household name since Courtney Love... which certainly could explain a lot. Has anyone bothered to check her or her husband's arms for needle tracks? You don't need to be Bill Frist, MD to diagnose such an obvious case of heroin-exacerbated Bush Derangement Syndrome.

Glenn Greenwald: Mr. Greenwald threatens to singlehandedly undo the great strides in civil discourse made in the blogosphere by holding that conservatives be held to the same standard as liberals. Have you ever heard of such nonsense?

Anyway, vote, and make your voice heard. Praise Him!

Who is presently History's Greatest Monster?
John Cougar Mellencamp
Angela Merkel
Valerie Plame
Glenn Greenwald
Free polls from Pollhost.com

*though in all fairness to Ms. Frisch, had I known that this was all it took, I may possibly have done the same.


Post a Comment

<< Home