Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Let go & let Sister Nancy Beth

I have to admit that the Los Angeles Times is the last place I'd go looking for Inspirational stories to blog about, but if this isn't cause for Rejoicing, nothing is:
Global Warming May Shrink Vineyards

Global warming could wither many premium vineyards in California and across the nation by the end of the century, according to a new computerized climate projection released Monday.

A predicted rise in the number of days hotter than 95 degrees during the growing season could sharply reduce the amount of areas suitable for vintage wine-grape production, an international team of scientists concluded in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Marginal vineyards nationwide might be eliminated and those capable of producing the most expensive premium wines may be reduced by half, the researchers reported. Although wine is produced in 48 states, California's $16.5-billion industry, with more than 500,000 acres of vineyards, accounts for almost 90% of the nation's wine grapes. ...

As growing seasons become hotter, winemaking areas would shift north and to higher elevations, the researchers said. Grape-growing areas in California would shrink to a narrow coastal band. In the Southwest and the Midwest, wine production would be almost completely eliminated.
Not only does global warming promise to turn your exurb into valuable beachfront property, but it may also cure America of the Moral failing of alcoholism! No wonder those chardonnay-sipping Deaniacs are always harping on "renewable energy" and "alternative fuels" -- it's just another desperate ruse for pushing away Our Savior. In order to sooner bring these sinners to Christ, I'm going to take a few extra laps around the block in the Praisemobile before I park her tonight. After all, Our Nation's temperance depends on it. My only fear in all of this is that Al Gore will subject us to a remake of Sideways, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. Praise Him!


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