I'm going down swinging

I'm sure the rest of you are feeling the same way, but it's become hard to advance the cause of Freedom through blogging lately. My Prayer Warriors are in open defiance of Our President, an unfortunate event that seems to be replaying itself throughout the blogosphere. The effect has been more traumatizing than watching your alcoholic grandparents argue over who's responsible for cleaning up the latest turd in the dishwasher. The bottom line is that I'm having tremendous difficulty reconciling the moral clarity of my Prayer Warriors with the bold policy initiatives of Our President; perhaps I am but the latest blogger on the Right to be afflicted with PTSD. I wonder to myself, Can't things be how they used to? O Brothers! Let's go back to fighting the real enemy in the Global War on Terror: Democrats.

How did it all come to this? What could turn a Christian Nation against its President like this? Was there some diabolical scheme to discredit Conservatism while destroying America through six years of Republican incompetence? I think we all know the answer to this, and I don't see how that Hillary Clinton can even sleep at night.

Despite my pessimism, all is not lost. A source of tremendous solace throughout this whole ordeal is the knowledge that the Democrats will fail to connect with voters by refusing to run candidates with the message of common sense and competency. I also find strength in Family -- the Cheney family, to be exact. Dick & Lynne's tortured acceptance of their daughter's perverted lifestyle is matched only by Mary's willingness to earn their qualified and conditional love by selling her lesbo friends up the river. I can't think of a more healing model for Our fractured Party to follow than this, so let's all give thanks to The Lord for Mary's recent book deal which Illuminated all of this.

In appreciation for this valuable example of the power of Compassionate Conservatism, I present this beautiful untouched proof from the photo session that produced the cover of Mary's book:

I dedicate it to the newest Nancy-Cons, those Freedom Lovers who have answered Valour's call and added me to their blogrolls, even during this turbulent time.

• Categorical Apertif
• Wagon Tongues

History will look kindly upon you. Fight proud, Christians. Praise Him!

[Saturday a.m. tinkering, for those of you who care about such matters.]