Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sister Nancy Beth's fragrant sachet of Salvation

There's a lot of comment-worthy stuff out on the internets today, so for your edification, I have lovingly assembled this aromatic potpourri from bits of Christian-themed news stories:

MSM misses the point -- again. Usually the news that wayward hikers would never again risk freezing to death would be greeted with the jubilation it warrants... except for when it allows for the typical "global warming" bleating from The Left:
Mountain glaciers in equatorial Africa are on their way to disappearing within two decades, a team of British researchers reports.

Located in the Rwenzori Mountains on the border between Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, the glaciers will be gone within 20 years if current warming continues, the researchers report in this week's online edition of Geophysical Research Letters.

The researchers blamed an increase in air temperatures in recent decades for contributing to the decline of the ice fields.

"Recession of these tropical glaciers sends an unambiguous message of a changing climate in this region of the tropics," said lead researcher Richard Taylor of the University College of London, Department of Geography.
Yawn -- more moonbat hysterics. Smarter monkeys, please.

America lessens its reliance of foreign perfumeries. For too long, America's glamour trades have been held hostage to the whims of Old Europe, whose best interests frequently run in direct opposition to our own. Fortunately for us, you can now tell Jules et Jacques to take a hike with every tantalizing spritz of this new Freedom Fragrance:
It's one of the most unique smells around. And now you can wear it.

Hasbro is continuing its celebration of Play-Doh's 50th anniversary by releasing "Eau de Play-Doh," a perfume designed to smell just like the kids' modeling clay.
While I myself would have chosen a different aroma (Crawford brush, for instance) to kick off our new Boston Tea Party, I eagerly look forward to the full suite of Play-Doh beauty products, such as body lotion, dusting powder, and the free tote bag with any $35 or more purchase.

Republicans get serious about governing. Our Nation's leaders have spent the past few month's chasing their tails in response to every baseless accusation the Democrats can fabricate about Iraq, warrantless surveillance, corrupt lobbying, & inflated gas prices, but they're finally ready to do We the People's important business:
Next month, Congress is expected to address social conservatives' concerns with a vote on a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. An anti-flag-burning amendment also is on the calendar, along with bills that would ban or limit stem-cell research. Other issues important to social conservatives include banning Internet gambling and prohibiting the transfer of a minor across state lines to obtain an abortion unless her parents approve the trip.
A little talk about allowing prayer in school and declaring Ronald Reagan's birthday a national holiday wouldn't hurt either, fellas.

Karl 2.0. Loyal Nancy-Con Lulu Maude is a true patriot whose love for Our Nation's Children would put this adorable dolly in every family's* home. "My name's Talking Tina, and I'm going to disclose your NCO status."

And on a more personal note, that Mother's Day bloodbath I was predicting yesterday never happened, thank God. Instead of being disemboweled on Satan's bloody altar to the sounds of Heavy Metal music, my family had the usual conversations about movies we had recently protested, television shows we were monitoring for anti-Christian bias, persecution we were suffering at our respective jobsites, Jesus' grad school plans, my alluring patella strap (I kittenishly wore shorts, and they merely added to my dishiness), and the litter of kittens my brother's 9-month old cat just had -- personally, I blame Britney Spears. And if any of you reading this were in Glendora and heard someone making farting noises into a karaoke machine, that was my nephew. Praise Him!

*as Traditionally defined, of course.


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