Why doesn't Wal-Mart start a church?

My beloved Catholic Church consistently hits the right notes when it comes to Satan's twin scourges of homosexuality and contraception (though this is a troubling development), but they're consistently wrong when it comes to matters of economics.

When they groveled before LA's striking janitors -- janitors, for Christ's sake!-- I assumed they were yet again shamelessly pandering to their pews full of illegals. Make no bones about it: I wholeheartedly disapprove of their stance on illegal immigration. In fact, during Father Joe's more long-winded sermons, I often fantasize that if Uncle Sam grew a set of stones and deported some of the more dubiously naturalized among my fellow parishioners, I wouldn't have to park three blocks away from church every Sunday morning. But, as I heard a wise man quip, you go to mass with the congregation you have, not the congregation you want.

However, when I saw the same sort of toadying going on in France, it became evident that this immigrant-coddling I witnessed in LA comes from the Church's being completely mired in the Old European ideals of unionization and trade barriers, which are un-American, and consequently anti-Christian. This socialist streak is on bold display with their recent excommunication of four Chinese bishops:

The Vatican says it has excommunicated two Chinese bishops consecrated earlier this week to China's government-approved Catholic church, which is not recognized by the Holy See.

The statement from Vatican spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls on Thursday called the unapproved ordination of bishops Giuseppe Ma Yinglin and Giuseppe Liu Xinhong "a severe wound to the unity of the Church" and said Pope Benedict XVI was disappointed.

"The Holy Father learned of the news with profound sorrow, because such a relevant act for the life of the Church, as is an Episcopal ordination, was carried out in both cases without respecting the need of communion with the pope," the statement said.

The Vatican also warned against any future ordinations carried out without its approval.

The Chinese Patriotic Catholic Association said the appointments were intended to fill shortages and were not intended to offend the Vatican.

Ties between the Vatican and China were severed after the 1949 Communist revolution.

A big stumbling block remains the Vatican's official recognition of Taiwan, branded by China as a renegade province.

Nonsense. Despite the benefits it would bring to the worldwide economy, the outsourcing of the Papacy to a more efficient workforce is the greatest fear of those unrepentant Marxists in Rome. Why are they so afraid of a little economic competition, unless they knew they would lose their cushy retirement and benefits packages? Maybe they'd even issue us $100 rebate checks! It's time for the Vatican to practice what they preach, or preach what they practice, or something, so I'm definitely on board with this Chinese clergy business if it can save me a few bucks. Praise Him!