Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Prayers for Nancy Beth, Week 6

Greetings once again from the Bataan Death March of Christian Persecution better known as Introductory College Chemistry. I have two weeks left until Our Lord releases me from this spiritual bondage, and I can only hope that I live through this ordeal so I can continue to spread The Word about these modern-day death camps, America's junior colleges, where just being a Christian marks you for punitive actions by the instructors and ostracism from your classmates.

As I have said in the past, my foray into the underbelly of contemporary higher education has been shocking, to say the least. Bias against people of Faith is overt and seemingly encouraged by the administration (response I received back from the chair of the Chemistry department: "Have you considered transferring?"), and Christian Values are routinely trampled on in the promotion of the God-less secularism of "science" and "objectivity." This past week, I again found myself in the middle of The Left's assault against Our Nation's Virtue, this time coming face to face with the dreaded "Hook-Up Culture."

For those of you who don't read Townhall, "hooking up" is Feminism's primary curriculum for today's female college student, in which she is encouraged to have as much casual sex with as many unsuspecting boys she can seduce before she graduates and becomes a lesbian. Christian Womanhood has paid dearly for this, naturally, as the rampant preying upon our formally honorable gentlemen scholars has turned these men into a generation of perverts who spend their days downloading internet porn and volunteering for the Obama campaign rather than marrying and getting us pregnant. I've been on the radar screen of one such lothario ever since class began, and on Wednesday he made his move: "Hey, can I borrow your calculator?"

"No, I will not perform oral sex on you," I responded.

"What?" he asked, perhaps unaccustomed to somebody actually rebuffing his lecherous advances.

"Don't play dumb with me, you heard perfectly well what I said. Just because I'm taking chemistry doesn't mean I'm one of those horny female scientists feminism is always championing." And with that, he sulked off. I'm tempted to report him to the administration for sexual harassment, but the dean's no longer taking my calls. Plus, from what I've read, I probably brought this on myself, and I need to dress more modestly or something.

In related news, I got my second midterm back this week, and I am pleased to say that I scored a major victory for women in the sciences by getting a C -- barely. Sure, I could have done better (ahem... maybe), but contrary to what those angry feminists will have you believe, the road to true equality for women will come by compromising our full potential and avoiding conflict until men are ready to cede to us what we want, not by doing better than them and challenging discriminatory policies. So, Christians, know that even though this blog is largely silent, I am still in the trenches, fighting for a better, brighter, whiter, and Holier America. Praise Him!

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