Edicts of Nancy: Sister Nancy Beth's week that wasn't + HANDJOBs across America

My blogger's block has been particularly fierce lately -- I blame fluoridation -- manifesting itself in the form of having nothing to say but with no desire to say it, a distinction that separates me from about 99% of my conservative blogging peers. In the meantime, while I've been out of commission, a week's worth of events have gone by unmarked, a situation in immediate need of rectifying.

Over at Michelle Malkin's blog, I see that Billy Joel has taken a break from his busy schedule of wrecking small cars and dating barely pubescent girls long enough to enrage one of her co-bloggers, a feat that, upon reflection, probably isn't that hard. Since Billy seems to be making the rounds in conservative blogosphere (and let's face it, I couldn't afford a Toto reunion on my dismal Blogads revenue), let's have him summarize this past week or so of Memeorandum highpoints and bring us back up to speed. Take it away, Billy:

Obama's got another Wright, except this time the guy is white,
Clinton's staying in the game in case they lynch Barack Hussein,
Scott McClellan Judas-kissed our president, now Dole is pissed,
I'm afraid of Rachael's scarf, that Starbucks harlot makes me barf.

We didn't sta-

Thank you, Billy, that will be all. The check is in the mail.

Before I went off track with this blogging business, I was honoring those Honest Americans Neutralizing the Deceptions that the Jihadist Obama Broadcasts, or HANDJOBs for short. As any red-blooded American can tell you, the only thing keeping Barack Hussein Obama from achieving electoral victory and establishing the Islezbofascist caliphate are the numerous HANDJOBs you find across the conservative blogosphere. Perhaps the most startling revelation about his diabolical plans comes from my Prayer Warriors CNSNews, who reveal that Obama wants people to have interracial gay sex in church:

In an Apr. 10 interview with The Advocate magazine, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) said "homophobic" messages are coming from the pulpits of black churches because "most African-American churches are still fairly traditional in their interpretations of Scripture." In the same interview, Obama praised the controversial Rev. Jeremiah Wright, his former pastor and long-time spiritual adviser, for being on the right side of the homosexual debate. ...

"I mean, ironically, my biggest ... the biggest political news surrounding me over the last three weeks has been Reverend Wright, who offended a whole huge constituency with some of his statements but has been very good on gay and lesbian issues," Obama said. "I mean he's one of the leaders in the African-American community of embracing, speaking out against homophobia, and talking about the importance of AIDS."

I for one find it very telling that Obama's "spiritual" mentor hates America, loathes white people, yet loves homos. If I'm reading those signs correctly, that aligns him politically with the black homosexual supremacy movement. It does explain those tribal prints that make Rev. Wright look like Miriam Makeba, but it also invites a further, and more terrifying, question: Will President Obama mandate salt & pepper love between Americans of the same gender? Or will he sell us white people to Africa to serve as their homosexual sex slaves? MSM is so clearly in the pocket of the Obama campaign that they're going to pretend this issue doesn't exist, so it's up to us conservative bloggers to get the word out.

As a special treat to those of you sticking with me through this rough patch, I offer you this moment of Moral clarity from Varla Jean Merman: "Lesbians are sick. God says all gay people are, or why would he make anal so painful and smelly?" Praise Him!