Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Prayers for Nancy Beth

Greetings from America's very own gulag archipelago, the community college system, where I can only imagine the world outside that is rapidly passing me by. As I predicted last week, this chemistry course I'm protesting has kept me too busy to blog. However, I was dead wrong when I also predicted that my instructor would be a sensible liberal (in the mold Joe Lieberman or Mickey Kaus) whom I could tolerate. She is hell-bent on pushing her radical activist agenda on all of us, and wouldn't recognize academic Freedom if it strapped electrodes on her ladyparts and made her stand on a box. From here forward, she will be known as Lucifer's Harlot.

Ms. Harlot has repeatedly said that chemistry is at its core a form of algebra, which, as you are probably aware, is nothing more than Islamic numerology (I predict Madonna will champion it next year, once she tires of changing that little Malawian kid's shitty diapers). I have made repeated attempts to get an exemption from having to do all these equations on religious grounds, as I find cross-multiplying detrimental to Our Nation's moral character and a leading factor in teen promiscuity and miscegenation. "Sure, it may start out with solving for the mass of an imaginary tungsten rod," I warned Ms. Harlot, "but how soon until you're raising a mocha-skinned grandchild named Barack Hussein?" I also pointed out that the use of variables is nothing more than The Left's moral relativism quantified, and that it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from calculating the pressures of a gas to widespread euthanasia. But, like all liberals, she rejects any information that doesn't support her sheltered view of the world.

In other course-related news, the swarthy Jose either dropped the class or has been deported, meaning that my lab sessions will be free of his menacing latin sexuality and I can unclutch my pearls long enough to record the temperature of cooling water, in Celsius no less. I'm deeply troubled at how the European-style metric system is being imposed on us, and wonder if its prevalence in the "sciences" isn't somehow responsible for the widespread acceptance of homosexuality we're witnessing. Obviously that's a blog post for another time (as is the homosexual nature of atomic bonding), so as we say on the internets: Stay tuned (but not too closely, I've got a test tomorrow). Praise Him!

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