Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Prayers for Nancy Beth

Greetings from America's very own gulag archipelago, the community college system, where I can only imagine the world outside that is rapidly passing me by. As I predicted last week, this chemistry course I'm protesting has kept me too busy to blog. However, I was dead wrong when I also predicted that my instructor would be a sensible liberal (in the mold Joe Lieberman or Mickey Kaus) whom I could tolerate. She is hell-bent on pushing her radical activist agenda on all of us, and wouldn't recognize academic Freedom if it strapped electrodes on her ladyparts and made her stand on a box. From here forward, she will be known as Lucifer's Harlot.

Ms. Harlot has repeatedly said that chemistry is at its core a form of algebra, which, as you are probably aware, is nothing more than Islamic numerology (I predict Madonna will champion it next year, once she tires of changing that little Malawian kid's shitty diapers). I have made repeated attempts to get an exemption from having to do all these equations on religious grounds, as I find cross-multiplying detrimental to Our Nation's moral character and a leading factor in teen promiscuity and miscegenation. "Sure, it may start out with solving for the mass of an imaginary tungsten rod," I warned Ms. Harlot, "but how soon until you're raising a mocha-skinned grandchild named Barack Hussein?" I also pointed out that the use of variables is nothing more than The Left's moral relativism quantified, and that it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from calculating the pressures of a gas to widespread euthanasia. But, like all liberals, she rejects any information that doesn't support her sheltered view of the world.

In other course-related news, the swarthy Jose either dropped the class or has been deported, meaning that my lab sessions will be free of his menacing latin sexuality and I can unclutch my pearls long enough to record the temperature of cooling water, in Celsius no less. I'm deeply troubled at how the European-style metric system is being imposed on us, and wonder if its prevalence in the "sciences" isn't somehow responsible for the widespread acceptance of homosexuality we're witnessing. Obviously that's a blog post for another time (as is the homosexual nature of atomic bonding), so as we say on the internets: Stay tuned (but not too closely, I've got a test tomorrow). Praise Him!

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5 Comments:

  • At June 30, 2008 5:39 AM, Blogger Gavin said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     
  • At June 30, 2008 5:42 AM, Blogger Gavin said…

    First it's Celsius, next it's queer "pride" parades, all leading to gang bangs with flocks of sheep. A slippery slope, indeed. Have we learned nothing from what happened to Europe in the absence of God?

    And isn't it just like a lazy Mexican to drop a course once the going gets tough? Or, perhaps the INS caught up with Jose out picking strawberries and sent his illegal ass packing. No doubt he was taking geography and physics, all paid for by our tax dollars thank you very much, so he'd have a better shot at overcoming our new fence to the south.

     
  • At July 11, 2008 11:08 AM, Blogger Lulu Maude said…

    Islamic numerology!

    You are God's little miracle, Sister Nancy!

     
  • At July 12, 2008 7:52 AM, Blogger zeppo said…

    Chemisty is just alchemy with a different name. And we all know where alchemy got us! It gave us... Uh... Wait a second.. Oh, yeah. Hitler! That's right! Hitler was big into all that weird crap. So, not only is your instructor a harlot, she's probably an appeaser as well!

     
  • At July 23, 2008 12:10 PM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    Our own Sister Chloe Elise will be running the gaunlet too, in the bastion of heathenry otherwise know as higher education ! She will be exposed to this heresy as well, we too have had little if any energy left to blog, just keeping the demons at bay ! Let us pray ! and Praise Him too !

    And by all means we can only support that liberal hunter whats his face in making sure all the intellectuals who don't need Jesus Praise him are purged from the Higher Education system..

    good on you Sister Nancy for your stepping into the Lions Den.

    We your faithflock are with YOU.

     

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