Bill Clinton gave me these Chiclets for teeth.
As a member of the Party of Personal Responsibility, I couldn't be happier than to see Pat Robertson give his Blessing to the candidate who practices the most precious of our Our Christian Values: Blaming Bill Clinton for everything. Slick Willie's toxic legacy to America was single digit unemployment, an appalling 75% approval rate in Muslim countries, epidemic teenage masturbation, and a run-away stock market. In short, this country was in the shambles, and I for one am grateful I lived through those dark days to witness Our President restore some of our tarnished Honor.
Seeing Mr. Clinton finally being called to account for the dilapidated state he's left our military in inspired the Citizen Journalist in me: What other misfortunes are the Clintons responsible for, but MSM is too lazy to report on and it would take away from their negative reporting on Iraq? I glanced over this past week's stories and the fingerprints of Bill & Hill (or their minions) are all over them:
† Al Gore,* fat-assed serial killer:
An 18-year-old student opened fire in a Finnish high school Wednesday, killing seven students and the principal before turning the gun on himself, police said. ...If Al Gore hadn't parked his fat ass down in front of his TI-99/4A with a bag of Doritos and invented the Internets, there would be no YouTube to post to, and those Finnish kids would be alive and pearl-diving or whatever it is they do down Finland.
Finnish media said the shooter revealed his plans in a YouTube posting before the attack.
The video, titled "Jokela High School Massacre," showed a picture of a building by a lake that appeared to be the high school, along with two photos of a young man holding a handgun. The person who posted the video was identified in the user profile as an 18-year-old man from Finland. The posting was later removed.
† Hillary Clinton, Hell's file clerk:
The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library is unable to find or account for tens of thousands of valuable mementos of Reagan's White House years because a "near universal" security breakdown left the artifacts vulnerable to pilfering by insiders, an audit by the National Archives inspector general has concluded.What with all her illegal fundraising, pet-killing, and dining and dashing, I didn't think Chairman Hillary had the time to apply her shady record-keeping skills to another crime scene, but clearly I have understimated her. I'm only grateful The Gipper isn't alive to see what she's done to His memory.
Inspector General Paul Brachfeld said that his office was investigating allegations that a former employee stole Reagan memorabilia but that the probe had been hampered by the facility's sloppy record-keeping. ...
The audit found that the Reagan library was unable to properly account for more than 80,000 artifacts out of its collection of some 100,000 such items, and "may have experienced loss or pilferage the scope of which will likely never be known."
† Jimmy Carter, child abuser: Your very own Sister Nancy Beth cracked a molar this week, resulting in an emergency protest to the dentist's and a temporary crown. I don't know exactly when this tooth got filled,** but most of my fillings date back to the early years of the Reagan administration, which means this cavity probably started forming some time during the Carter years. If Jimmy Carter had been more interested in oral hygiene than capitulating to our Muslim enemies, I wouldn't have had to go through this ordeal.*** I wonder if that makes it into Hollywood's latest fawning documentary about this traitor, but I seriously doubt it. Praise Him!
* Meaning, course, that Al Gore is fat-assed, though I suppose the fact he's a serial killer of the fat-assed hasn't entirely been disproven yet, either.
** According to my dentist, teeth with fillings are weaker than those without. But then again, what does he know?
*** Check your spam filter for Sister Nancy Beth's Dental Defense Fund fundraising pleas!