Queen Acres

Back in more innocent times, radical homosexual activists knew their place: Either they stayed deep in the closet, or they were ghettoized in decadent coastal enclaves, where they toiled away in their florist shops by day and buggered one another randily by night. As disgusting as their chosen lifestyle was, there was a certain comfort in knowing that those of us who subscribe to Heartland Values wouldn't have to worry about getting AIDS from riding the same buses as these perverts, so long as we stayed clear of New York City or the west coast. Sadly, things went horribly wrong, and now the scourge of homosexuality is spreading like wildfire throughout Our Nation. As the New York Times gleefully reports:

There has been a notable shift of gravity from the Castro, with young gay men and lesbians fanning out into less-expensive neighborhoods like Mission Dolores and the Outer Sunset, and farther away to Marin and Alameda Counties, “mirroring national trends where you are seeing same-sex couples becoming less urban, even as the population become slightly more urban,” said Gary J. Gates, a demographer and senior research fellow at the University of California, Los Angeles.

At the same time, cities not widely considered gay meccas have seen a sharp increase in same-sex couples. Among them: Fort Worth; El Paso; Albuquerque; Louisville, Ky.; and Virginia Beach, according to census figures and extrapolations by Dr. Gates for The New York Times. “Twenty years ago, if you were gay and lived in rural Kansas, you went to San Francisco or New York,” he said. “Now you can just go to Kansas City.”

This is an Outrage of the highest magnitude. When radical homosexual activists invade a community, they bring their violent crime, loud music, and annoying toy dogs along with them, resulting in a decreased quality of life for those of who are in this country legally. It's only a matter of time before the nancies have colonized all of America's backbone and squeeze us Christians out altogether. In fact, the more I think about it, it seems like they're trying to make life so unbearable for us people of Faith that we'll have no choice but to illegally cross the border into Mexico, where we'll be enslaved in Chairman Hillary's maquiladoras and spend the rest of our lives stringing plastic beads for gay pride festivals. Christians, join me in calling for and end to this prairie homo invasion, before it's too late. Praise Him!