Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Abstinence-only cosmetology

Abstinence-only education has not only been remarkably effective in keeping the young ladies of Our Nation from turning into pole-dancing harlots, but its message of temperance and self-denial is nearly identical to the tenets of Christian Cosmetology. As Prayer Warriors Newsmax note, passing that cherished tube of Pink Frost around like a doobie at a YearlyKos conference and just might leave you with a disfiguring social disease:
Also, sharing lipsticks is another way that makeup can cause health problems. Sharing lipsticks, lip glosses or lip balms with someone who may have a strain of the herpes virus could leave you with cold sores of your own. Remember, people can harbor this particular virus on their lips without having an active cold sore so it will not always be visible.
For too long, proponents of "safe" makeup have let their disinformation campaigns and mantra of "If it feels good, do it" lead our daughters astray, and at a terrible price: The promiscuous application of makeup can lead to any number of heartrending outcomes, be it pink eye, unexpected pregnancy, or even AIDS. Until our public schools are free to implement a silver ring thing-type cosmetology program without fear of spurious lawsuits from The Left, you should advise your daughter to keep her makeup bag and legs firmly closed. Praise Him!

Labels:

3 Comments:

  • At August 09, 2007 12:35 PM, Blogger liquiddaddy said…

    Nancy Dear,

    Lip sticks can become substitute phallus ready for the harlots. Those who know not their proper use and function are damned.

    That's why it is so important that Christian Cosmetologists such as yourself minister to lost souls.

    "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness." Matthew (ch. XXIII, v. 27)

    LD

     
  • At August 09, 2007 6:46 PM, Blogger Gavin said…

    Sister, I just can't understand why I don't hear more about your endeavours. The MSM mentions nothing of all the valuable Christian Cosmetology lessons you teach. And we're all the poorer for it.

    Their silence only serves to corrupt our nation. First these young female mall rats in heat are exchanging lipsticks, and the next thing you know, they're passing around a marijuana cigarette or husband or something.

    The shame of it all makes me wince.

     
  • At August 10, 2007 12:22 PM, Blogger Lulu Maude said…

    I praise God for the Silver Ring Thing, which advocates that young gentlemen place a silver ring on their things before a date.

    The exact effects have yet to be discovered, but I think it sounds very promising. Youg men should remember that their gentleman-parts are sacred, just as ladyparts are.

    Praise Him!

     

Post a Comment

<< Home