Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Choke on Dick, Hippies

May Freedom's lantern light the land!

While The Left has been busy writing and rewriting Real America's obituary, Conservatism has undergone something of a renaissance, but without all that faggoty maypole dancing and scientific inquiry and stuff. A bumper crop of viable, charismatic candidates like Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, and Glenn Beck have shown that they have the policy chops to run Our Nation. But the best news is that there's a movement afoot to draft the finest statesman ever to serve in America's Golden Age, Dick Cheney:
Dick Cheney in 2012? One new political group, led by a prominent former Log Cabin Republican, thinks it could -- and should -- happen.

Despite the former vice-president's low approval ratings among the American public, the organizers of Draft Cheney 2012 believe he's the right man to take on President Barack Obama in the next election -- and, they say, he may be the only person left in the Republican Party who has what it takes to run the country.
Glory! Not only could he reinstill a healthy respect for the Rule of Law by pardoning himself from war crimes charges, but he could also shoot the many critics of future Vice President Palin in the face. Christians, we can only Pray that Dick Cheney will be the one to liberate us from the caliphate of Barack Hussein Obama and usher us into a renewed era of Freedom. Praise Him!

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Currying disfavor

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish those of you who happen across this blog while looking for porn a Happy Thanksgiving, only thanks to our "president," that's something of an impossibility. In the greatest assault to the sovereignty of Our Nation since Barack Hussein Obama put mustard on a hamburger, The One has ruined this most Sacred of American holidays and set back the cause of canned yams in marshmallow glaze at least a decade, by serving the Prime Minister of India an Indian-themed State dinner two days before Thanksgiving:
The dinner takes place in a huge tent on the South Lawn, and guest will dine on Indian influenced dishes with choices for vegetarians and vegans. The menu includes a salad of arugula grown in the White House garden, potato and eggplant salad, red lentil soup with fresh cheese, and potato dumplings with tomato chutney. Entrees are a choice of chick peas and okra or green curry prawns, served with caramelized salsify, smoke collard greens and coconut aged basmati.
Outrageous! First bowing to Tojo, and now this. Is it any wonder America's friends and enemies alike are snickering behind our backs?

Christians, if there were ever any reason to put Sarah Palin in the White House, this is it. We need someone who shares our Values as well as our American tastes. In a Palin administration, First Dude Todd would be cooking up hamburgers on the grill while Mama Grizzly whipped up a sumptuous batch of her world famous moose chili. If any dot-headed foreigners balked at eating meat on "religious" grounds, she could just set them straight: "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?" Suck. On. That., you dirty hippies. Praise Him!

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Sunday, November 01, 2009

Tears in our beers

Ever since Barack Hussein Obama was "elected" as the grand Caliph of Our Nation, Americans have had to find new ways to cope with the loss of our most precious Freedoms. While some Christians might find solace from Obama's despotism by boning a stripper in a South Carolina graveyard, sadly, one of the more prevalent methods has become problem drinking:
In a setting a tad less formal, with no president or national press on hand, the Harvard professor and the Cambridge cop at the heart of last summer’s White House “beer summit” met for a second round - this time, at a local pub.

Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley met for drinks Wednesday at River Gods, a popular River Street bar outside Central Square, not far from where their lives first intersected.
Sister Nancy Beth shares their despair, and while she doesn't approve of abusing alcohol to lessen the pain of living under the tyrannical regime of The One, it certainly does explain a lot, doesn't it?

Tragically, I can't help but think that this is part of The Left's master plan. Not only are they driving us to drink, but now they're making even more powerful consciousness-altering substances available. In a recent speech to America's school children, "President" Obama announced that "medical" marijuana would soon be dispensed from campus vending machines; he signed off his address by saying "Far out, man."

It is my fervent Prayer that America will once again embrace its Christian heritage and elect white people whose Values are uncompromised by the stain of drugs and alcohol, like George Bush & Dick Cheney. Only then can we hope to return to a position of preeminent Moral leadership in the world. Praise Him!

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