Choke on Dick, Hippies

May Freedom's lantern light the land!

While The Left has been busy writing and rewriting Real America's obituary, Conservatism has undergone something of a renaissance, but without all that faggoty maypole dancing and scientific inquiry and stuff. A bumper crop of viable, charismatic candidates like Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, and Glenn Beck have shown that they have the policy chops to run Our Nation. But the best news is that there's a movement afoot to draft the finest statesman ever to serve in America's Golden Age, Dick Cheney:

Dick Cheney in 2012? One new political group, led by a prominent former Log Cabin Republican, thinks it could -- and should -- happen.

Despite the former vice-president's low approval ratings among the American public, the organizers of Draft Cheney 2012 believe he's the right man to take on President Barack Obama in the next election -- and, they say, he may be the only person left in the Republican Party who has what it takes to run the country.

Glory! Not only could he reinstill a healthy respect for the Rule of Law by pardoning himself from war crimes charges, but he could also shoot the many critics of future Vice President Palin in the face. Christians, we can only Pray that Dick Cheney will be the one to liberate us from the caliphate of Barack Hussein Obama and usher us into a renewed era of Freedom. Praise Him!