Sister Nancy Beth's Health & Happiness Show

Actual liberal death panelist in action.

The Left loves to chortle about how conservatives are in disarray, but Barack Hussein Obama has unified Real Americans in opposition to his totalitarian power grab. Since The One announced his plans to force compulsory abortions on all heterosexual white women and euthanize elderly Republicans, many of Conservatism's keenest intellects -- Victoria Jackson, Sarah Palin, & Chuck Norris -- have weighed in. But we've yet to hear from the most important voice in this debate: mine. I am rectifying this horrible omission forthwith.

The Obama plan, in its un-Holy quest to cover as many Americans as possible, assaults Freedom in the most fiendish ways imaginable: by limiting copayments for preventive care and prohibiting rescissions and exclusions for pre-existing conditions -- JUST LIKE ADOLPH HITLER. I can only imagine that shredding the Constitution in this manner gives our "president" some perverse Islamic thrill. As an assistant adjunct member of the janitorial staff who often beat the chalk out of the erasers after constitutional law classes, surely he would know that the Freedom to go without health insurance is perhaps one of the most precious gifts the Founding Fathers gave to us. And Christians, this Freedom isn't free. Every year, approximately 101,000 Americans make the ultimate sacrifice of saying "Thanks, but no thanks" to the atheist commie homosexuals who want to force them into routine care. Don't let their patriotic efforts be in vain. Help keep Americans uninsured; otherwise, the terrorists will have won. Praise Him!