Kiss of the spider woman

By now, you are probably aware that South Carolina's governor, Mark Sanford, has admitted to having an affair with a woman from Argentina. While the lion's share of the blame for this belongs to homosexuals for devaluing the Sacred Institution of Marriage, we shouldn't be afraid to point a finger at the two women at the center of this scandal, Mrs. Sanford and the Argentinean mistress. After all, that is how the healing begins.

Mrs. Sanford has released a heart-rending statement that shows exactly where she went wrong - by acting too much like a man (my emphasis):

I personally believe that the greatest legacy I will leave behind in this world is not the job I held on Wall Street, or the campaigns I managed for Mark, or the work I have done as First Lady or even the philanthropic activities in which I have been routinely engaged.

No wonder the man sought his comfort elsewhere. He probably thought he was going to bed each night with Karl Rove. It's a Miracle he didn't turn gay.

Even more at fault is Governor Sanford's mystery lover. What we know so far is that she is from Argentina, which Wikipedia tells me is in South America. Before Hollywood was taken over by Communists and began grinding out Jane Fonda movies, its accurate portrayals of life depicted what Latin women really are: fiery temptresses Hell-bent on bedding as many white men as their ladyparts could handle. Latin America, I understand, is also primarily Catholic. If "Maria" couldn't use the teachings of her Faith to resist her adulterous impulses, she is as much to blame for this tragedy as Mrs. Sanford.

This brings us to the elephant in the living room that we defenders of family need to bring up, for the good of Our Nation: Sonia Sotomayor

Who is to say that once she's seated on the Supreme Court, Señorita Sotomayor won't begin using her feminine wiles on her fellow justices and ruin their marriages, too? Given her membership in a radical lesbian separatist organization, she'd probably set her sights on Justice Ginsburg, just for the sport of it. I fervently hope one of our conscientious Republican senators asks her about this and gets to the bottom of this sordid affair.

Hopefully the menace Judge Sotomayor poses to Traditional Marriage will galvanize the flagging campaign against her and prevent her from being confirmed. If we hope to preserve Our Nation's Values, it is essential that the Supreme Court have only strong guardians of Morality, like Justices Scalia and Thomas. Praise Him!