Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Sunday, May 25, 2008


Your beloved Sister Nancy Beth has had an Epiphany of sorts lately, readers: Blogging kind of sucks, which explains the lack of posts in these parts. Also, one of the clients at the Beauty Palace turned me on to a home permanent survivors group, and that's kept me occupied the past few weekends. It's ok, nothing a hearty dollop of Christianity wouldn't fix, and I've made it a point to tell them as much a few times. Unfortunately, the secretary is so into the power trip of running her little meeting that she's completely closed off to hearing The Word: "Nancy Beth, that's an outside issue," "Nancy Beth, please keep the focus on our program," "Nancy Beth, we have no religious affiliation here." Fucking bitch. No wonder The Lord cursed her with that tragic hairdo.

Also, after a long sabbatical, I've finally sprung for a full-scale graphics application on my new(ish) computer. Because the cosmetology department, like every other bureacracy in this state, is run by radical homosexual activists who wouldn't issue a Christian so much as a dog license, I've had to resort to Photoshop (actually, PaintShop Pro) to keep up my hairdressing chops. Here's my tribute to Our Nation's future First Lady:

That's about it from me. I'm looking over candidates for this week's HANDJOB award, so stay tuned. Praise Him!

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Maine event

Sorry, moonbats, but not even your tampon-based terrorism can keep me from blogging about the latest shenanigans of Maine's radical homosexual activists. Read about it over at American Street. Praise Him!

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Friday, May 16, 2008

The four bridesmaids of the Apocalypse

While I've found denial to be an effective strategy for dealing with most of the challenges Our Nation faces ("global" "warming," the Israeli-Palestinian "conflict," the Iraq "war," "etc."), there is one area where it has actually been counterproductive: "gay" "marriage." The Belief that America's judges would consider anal sex as revolting as the majority of the citizens they allegedly serve do and ship the whole lot of those perverts off to some desert island like Massachusetts seems to have been, in hindsight, a bit foolhardy, and we are now paying the price for our naivete (like that word? It was in a crossword puzzle this week). While we slept, Americans found one of their most cherished Freedoms, the Freedom to deny radical homosexual activists the right to marry, stolen from us by those terrorists in black, and the results promise to be utterly catastrophic:
Christian attorney Steve Crampton says the California Supreme Court abandoned the rule of law and common sense with its decision today that re-defined marriage. ...
"This opinion, in many respects, is like a legal tsunami -- and it's not going to stop at the borders of the state of California," warns Crampton. "It's going to affect the rest of us whether we want it to or not ... and we better be ready and we better be ready for a fight."
Tsunamis, as we well now, are what God unleashes upon a sinful people who have displeased Him for being wicked, or Buddhist. And while California's sins are grave and many, I find it hard to believe that there are that many Buddhists in this state to warrant this kind of punishment. Fortunately, as in Myanmar, an army has already mobilized to keep this destructive force out of its boundaries and guard its precious sovereignty:
Pro-family forces in the state have been preparing for the decision. More than one million signatures have been collected for a ballot initiative that would place a state constitutional marriage amendment on the November ballot. Crampton says Liberty Counsel will file a motion in the next few days in an effort to have today's ruling put on hold until after November.
I can only Pray their plan will come to fruition, and soon. This morning, as I took my seat at the reception desk, I had the misfortune of hearing the tail-end of the male hairdressers' conversation. "Julio will make me an honest woman yet," said my archnemesis Chris, before he and the other hens erupted into peals of girlish laughter. It is simply unconscionable that level of cruelty can be inflicted on America's Christians. With any luck, it will be directed where truly it belongs, back on the homos. Praise Him!

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sister Nancy Beth has a dream

Read about it over at American Street. Praise Him!

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Sunday, May 11, 2008

Deep red belles

When the dust finally settles on the 2008 presidential election, we'll look back upon it as the time when a ruthless, power-hungry bitch exploited every political asset her popular husband had in her craven quest for the White House, and permanently fractured her party in the process. I am speaking, of course, about Michelle Obama:
Michelle Vetoes Hillary
By Robert Novak

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Close-in supporters of Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign are convinced he never will offer the vice presidential nomination to Sen. Hillary Clinton for one overriding reason: Michelle Obama.

The Democratic front-runner's wife did not comment on other rival candidates for the party's nomination, but she has been sniping at Clinton since last summer. According to Obama sources, those public utterances do not reveal the extent of her hostility.
I'm getting the strongest sense of deja-vu. What is it with the Dems and their power-tripping wives? For the past 40+ years, they've been giving us nothing but rabid hyenas, rather than the sort of First Lady America would like to have a Xanax with. Talk about out of touch!

when I initiated my recognition of the finest HANDJOBs (Honest Americans Neutralizing the Deceptions that the Jihadist Obama Broadcasts) in the right blogosphere last week, it never crossed my mind that the Obama in question would be Michelle. However, diligent research on reliable websites has shown her to be a nasty piece of work who'd be more at home in some tyrannical country like France or Cuba than in a Freedom-loving democracy such as ours. Robert Novak's ace reportage only adds to that picture, so Mr. Novak, thank you for a HANDJOB well done. Praise Him!

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Myanmar shadow

Like many conservatives, I'm troubled by the increasing pull of foreign governments on Our Nation's sovereignty. The assertion that it's legal in Europe -- lots of filthy things usually are --bolsters many of The Left's arguments in the legal and policy spheres, and the results have been nearly apocalyptic: Men are now staying home and practically breastfeeding their newborns, thanks to "progressive" family & medical leave laws popular in countries like Sweden and other places where pornography is a major part of their GDP. So you can imagine my delight to see what one country has the stones to say "No!" to all this castrating interference by "concerned" outsiders:

The military government in Burma (Myanmar) is receiving an outpouring of emergency aid offers from the international community, as the death toll from Saturday's cyclone continues to soar. While some foreign aid workers were told they could enter the country to assess needs and distribute supplies, as of Tuesday – three days after the disaster hit – they were still awaiting visas. The delay raises questions as to how willing the hermit regime is to facilitate relief in the crucial, early stages of this humanitarian emergency.
Kudos to the rulers of Myanmar for standing up to those nanny-state relief workers. This is the sort of uncompromising leadership America needs! Rather than mollycoddling their citizens and creating a victim mentality, countries need to tell their people, in the immortal words of Prayer Warrior Michelle Malkin, to "Suck. It. Up." Once these aid workers get a foothold, it's only a matter of time before they began imposing their liberal fascist programs like electricity and sanitation on the country. America could learn a thing or two about how to handle a natural disaster from these people. I only wish that our own country could take such a character-building stance during a "natural" "disaster." Praise Him!

UPDATE: We did!


Ferry tales

Please enjoy my latest contribution over at American Street, or, if you prefer, over at Air America(!). Praise Him!


Saturday, May 03, 2008

A HANDJOB well done

I've been struggling with blogging lately, which leads me to think that I might need to initiate some sort of regularly appearing feature to take the guesswork out of what I'm posting about. As it is, I depend on my Prayer Warriors to Inspire me with their tales of victimhood by The Left. While I've gotten plenty of mileage out of secondhand (and firsthand!) Persecution, I'm afraid I may be getting jaded about how hard our lot in life as America's Christians truly is and really haven't been moved enough to write about it... which is probably just what those liberal traitors want. But fret not, Christians, because there's no way those moonbats are going to shut me down.

One thing that has invigorated me is the gusto with which my Prayer Warriors are going after Barack Hussein Obama. It's positively infectious, and fortunately not in that horrible liberal way that requires you to go to the free clinic for a shot afterwards. So it is with great fanfare that I am pleased to unveil my newest blogging initiative, Honest Americans Neutralizing the Deceptions that the Jihadist Obama Broadcasts, or HANDJOB for short, to recognize the excellent work conservatives are doing to keep Our Nation from following this pied piper into a state of Islezbofascist tyranny.

The best HANDJOB given to the conservative blogosphere this week comes from WorldNetDaily, who introduces us to yet another red who inculcated young Barack Hussein into the ways of World Communism, through the black art of poetry:
The man who heavily influenced U.S. Sen. Barack Obama during his growing years wrote poetry praising the aggression of communism, criticizing "Sweet Jesus" and mocking the traditional hymn "Onward Christian Soldiers," according to an advocate for media accuracy.

WND reported earlier when Cliff Kincaid wrote at Accuracy in Media about the link between Frank Marshall Davis, a member of the old Moscow-controlled Communist Party USA, and Obama, who cited a mysterious "Frank" in his book. ...

Kincaid, in a statement on his USA Survival organization website, said a full report will be released May 22 on how communist and socialist forces have influenced Obama.

"Herbert Romerstein, a former investigator for the House Committee on Un-American Activities, will present a detailed report on Obama's years in Hawaii, when he came into contact with and under the influence of a member of the Communist Party, Frank Marshall Davis," Kincaid said.
I was able to locate some of Comrade Davis' "poetry" on the internets, and I am appalled at its outward hostility to Freedom. First of all, it doesn't even rhyme, and secondly, not a single one of the three poems I glanced at begins with "There once was a man from [Red State locale]." This blatant disregard for America's great literary traditions reminds of another America-hater who made his living spewing vile words of calumny against Our Nation, Robert Frost. Frost's work embodies the most egregious excesses of the radical environmental movement, often lauding the hostile forces of nature over the benevolent forces of patriotism, and naturally The Left reveres him for it, even going so far as to have him let loose with one of his filthy rants at a presidential inauguration. I shudder at what we can expect on Obama's inauguration day.

Being a conservative blogger requires me to wear many hats -- military strategist, campaign consultant, forensics expert, economist, and now literary scholar. While there are times when I find all this work to be wearying, the satisfaction I get from knowing that I am helping restore America to her former greatness by calling Democrats traitors and fags makes it all worthwhile. Praise Him!

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