Insuring their own destruction

While Scripture confers many blessings upon the Union of man and woman through the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, perhaps the most Blessed of all of these is employer-sponsored health insurance. "Ensureth thine conjugal mate through thine master's actuarial programme, lest The Lord smite you to the tenth generation with sixty percentage out of network costs," a Prophet beseeches us from the Good Book (though I can't remember exactly where; I think it was somewhere towards the front), and those words have never rung truer. Throughout the history of Western Civilization, employer-provided coverage has been the mortar that binds Freedom together with Heterosexuality, creating the Moral foundation upon which Our Nation rests. This goes a long way in explaining why Chairman Hillary and the rest of "her" red brigades are so hellbent on turning private healthcare into another state-run communist welfare program, like education, Social Security, and the forest service -- it's another projection of their deep hatred for Traditional Values. As if those Clinton years weren't dark enough, insurance must now withstand another onslaught -- this time from Maryland's radical homosexual activists:

Pro-family activist Matt Barber is warning Maryland taxpayers that they may soon be forced to support the homosexual lifestyle with their pocketbooks. Barber, policy director for cultural issues for Concerned Women for America, says Maryland appears on the fast track to becoming the 15th state to grant domestic partner benefits to homosexual state employees.

This boggles the mind: How many florists does the state of Maryland actually employ? That a state's government can be taken over by these flower-arranging footsoldiers of perversion indicates something is seriously wrong with their human resources policies. And this doesn't address the heart of the matter: Why are homosexuals even insured at all? Political correctness prevents a Concerned Woman for America like Mr. Barber from speaking these hard truths, but I make no such concessions to The Left's thought police: Baby Jesus weeps every time a homosexual presents his insurance card to see a doctor, and every submitted claim form is like a dagger thrust through His tiny, precious heart. Insuring homosexuals is a one-way ticket to Hell for Our Nation, and its practice is probably one of the many reasons God turned His back on us and allowed 9/11 to happen.

But If only that were the worst of it. Health insurance for "gay" "couples" threatens to lead to the widespread use of "counterfeit marriages," which means you (OR YOUR CHILDREN) will be able to go your local swap meet and buy one for a fraction of the retail cost that the rest of us have to pay. But don't take my word for it, take Mr. Barber's:

He contends that domestic partner benefits devalue traditional marriage much the same way introducing counterfeit money into commerce devalues the dollar. "[When] you water down something enough, eventually it becomes unrecognizable," he asserts, "and we have counterfeit marriage here; we have the government subsidizing counterfeit marriage."

Is that the only counterfeit operation homosexuals are involved in? Because given the natural America-hating affinities between this group and the heathen Chinee, it wouldn't surprise me to discover that the trunk of your average homosexual's Miata is stuffed with bootleg DVDs of Glitter and My Fair Lady to peddle at their local leather bar. I think the Justice Department would be wise to make investigating this a top priority.

Make an earnest declaration of Our Christian Faith, like saying that all homosexuals are diseased perverts, and The Left will distort this into their usual claims of hydrophobia. This time is no different, but fortunately for the people of Maryland who don't stick foreign objects up their anuses, Mr. Barber is onto these vectors of moral pestilence:

"The homosexual lobby has done a masterful job of convincing people that this is about discrimination," Barber said. "It is not. It is about benefits being conferred upon those who enter into marriage, which is beneficial to society. Homosexual relationships are not beneficial to society; in fact ... the homosexual lifestyle is a very dangerous lifestyle that oftentimes involves high medical costs."

Homosexual epidemics like AIDS and the Evian flu* have brought Our Nation's healthcare system to the brink of insolvency. Rather than renounce the sinful lifestyle that causes these afflictions, radical homosexual activists want the American taxpayer to pick up the tab for their treatment, which mostly consists of getting pedicures and sipping on mimosas at expensive day spas. Don't let them do this. Health coverage for "domestic" "partners" in Maryland may very well start a domino effect that leads to the collapse of healthcare -- nay, of capitalism -- as we know it, a calamitous event that only liberals would welcome. Fight the good fight, Christians, and praise Him!

*Credit goes to Varla Jean Merman for informing me of this looming health crisis.