Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I was a teenage Barbra Streisand

Liberals love to feign revulsion when terrorists exploit children as packmules for their explosives in the Middle East. The sad truth of the matter, though, is that these traitors are guilty of practically the same thing here in America. I extend my deepest thanks to Prayer warriors Citizenlink, who inform us that radical homosexual activists are regularly sneaking dynamite of a different sort into the offices of Our Nation's lawmakers:
Young People Lobby in Favor of Homosexual Issues

from staff reports

State capitols are the target.

Gay-activist groups are recruiting kids to be the new face of their lobbying campaigns in state houses around the country.

In many state capitols, self-identified gay young people are already working to influence legislators.
For all their bitching about Rove's "dirty tricks," liberals sure know how to land one below the belt. Barely pubescent teenagers are like kryptonite to the party of Family Values: The last time somebody dangled one of these little gamin temptresses in front of a legislator, the Republicans lost 23 seats. The thought of this playing out fifty times at the state level is more than I can bear. There ought to be a congressional inquiry into such bald-faced electoral manipulation.

What's so tragic about this situation is that these children aren't even gay -- at least not entirely, not yet:
But Dr. Bill Maier, psychologist in residence at Focus on the Family, said most of the kids are too young to state with confidence that they are gay.

“Several studies indicate that it’s not until at least the end of the teen years or the early 20s that a person really gets a handle on their sexual orientation,” he told Family News in Focus.

They are certainly confused, Maier said, and that makes them east to manipulate by gay activists.
There are many enticements that can seduce somebody into joining the homosexual lifestyle: Social networking sites, sexually explicit cartoons, and Pottery Barn catalogs are among the most common, at least in my experience. Fortunately, all is not yet lost. There are any number of ways to fortify a child's waning heterosexuality. Mothers can insist their daughters wear skirts; fathers can toss the old pigskin around with their sons or get naked and shower with them. Who's to say that these little hussies aren't really straight after all, they just haven't showered enough with their parents? A steady regimen of co-parental bathing will certainly undo any mental damage popular culture may have inflicted on them, so lather up, Christians. Praise Him!

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7 Comments:

  • At April 06, 2007 11:51 AM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    ok , off the floor now, absoulutely hilarious ! To save souls i must link your blog to my blog roll. Its a baby blog and totally "pro birth". It is my hope that those who pass through it,(with a hot covered dish, hopefully) will have their souls saved before its too late. Reading your edicts could only help.

    Though i am new at this blogging business and saving souls, its my duty to spread THE WORD, that rapture index is climbing daily.

    fondly, PP of http://somenotesonliving.blogspot.com

     
  • At April 07, 2007 11:13 AM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/koat/20070406/lo_koat/11538392

    My how the Lord doeseth chastiseth those He loves. Around here the Faithful are bountiful. They spring up like weeds! During Holy week end they're walking on an at least 50 mile trek, excercising for the Glory of the Lord. ( as noted in article above) to a Holy sanctuary in the mountainss.

    Well the Lord is giving them a pummeling with sleet and snow. I can feel the love ! As we know suffering is what its all about. Now me i am slacking horribly I confess Sister Nancy Beth, sitting here at my computer...i hope they say a few Novenas for me. I will do my Hail Marys too of course. Hail Marys seem to come so naturally to me. I was born to love her, but not to excerise apparently. I will however continue to strive to be a good example and keep those wicked homosexuals who want to take over the world at bay. Praise Him ! Your message entitled Fatal Beauty indeed shows us what we are up against..Sister hang in there. Yours in the Lord

    PP

     
  • At April 07, 2007 11:36 AM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At April 07, 2007 11:38 AM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    opps here i am linking for the Lord, our ONE true Savior and all i do is clutter things up. Sorry about that Sister Nancy. Not to worry though my faith will not be dampened (i am not out in that snow) nor will i quit in pure frustration in my quest for perfection (in the Lord of course) otherwise it would be vanity. Anyhow i wish you and your faithful flock, a most HOLY week end. I mean a really really Holy one. I comfort myself knowing the Lord is listening or reading. (or both)

     
  • At April 07, 2007 9:40 PM, Blogger Sister Nancy Beth Eczema said…

    Thank you, my esteemed sister in Christ. Consider yourself a Nancy-Con! May The Lord heap His blessings upon you as you prepare your coiffure this Easter season. Praise Him!

     
  • At April 08, 2007 2:19 PM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    Indeed blessings have been heaped! I can bearly stand up straight. May the Lord chastise me(hard) for this idolatry. Finding my Order,fills the soul. You understand.

    I have been so lost since The Churchlady left my tv screen.

    A lamb lost in this jungle of Satan worshipping heathens,but for the 700 club. Thanks to that club,i have learned to enjoy cat food pate burritos. I giveth and giveth until it hurts.(or at least tastes bad) Hoping for my place in heaven. Praise Him !

    Now that I found my Order, with the blogosphere's Most persecuted Christian;maybe i can start eating better !

    Confession : (it does cleanse like a high colonic for the soul)

    I DID give ALL my cosmetics away (i know i know at least 100 acts of contritions for that) It all went to a blessed cause Sister, poor youngsters seeking jobs,in faith based programs. And most of it had never been used ! They promised me prayers so its worth it. And who knew i would find this order of Beauty and Truth ???

    I will be a comtemplative in the Order. My shameful lack of mascara will not be seen by the world.

    Comparmising your work for the Lord is Just not an option.

     
  • At April 11, 2007 3:00 PM, Blogger The Truffle said…

    I have added you to my blogroll, Nancy, in the hopes of spreading Thee Word! I wonder if NAMBLA has a hand in this insidious plan you're describing.

     

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