Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Looking for glamour in the Muslim world

Blogging's greatest benefit is that it allows us Christians to share our expertise in a forum that the MSM & ivory tower elites had previously denied us. Citizen journalism has allowed some of America's finest thinkers -- such as renowned historian Michelle Malkin and honorary Christian Jonah Goldberg -- to come to the fore and take their rightful place as leaders in Our Nation's political discourse. Well, Christians, consider me among their ranks, as I seem to have become the blogosphere's point person for theological matters concerning cosmetology... an honor I will soon commemorate with my "What Would Jesus Wax?" thong over at my merchandising emporium.

Few things warm my heart as much as knowing that I'm helping spread the Gospel of Glamour to my fellow Christian ladies, but I didn't realize that I had the possibility of reaching out to the women of the so-called Religion of Peace until I saw the following at Sitemeter:

I hadn't considered Islamic cosmetology my bailiwick, but if I've learned nothing else from my Prayer Warriors, it's that right-wing partisan bloggers know best when it comes to all things Islam. So in answer to the above query, "Are Muslims allowed to wear waterproof mascara and pray?" my answer is an emphatic yes. Or if not, they should be. My reasoning is as follows: Cosmetics allow Christian women to regain the state of Holy Grace we lost when we were expelled from the Garden of Eden, and Christendom's holiest women apply makeup the most heavily. In short: Cosmetics = Godliness. It only stands to reason that heavy applications of mascara remain the most viable means for Muslim women to leave their satanic death cult and enter the loving embrace of the One True Faith. Hopefully this advice won't trigger an international incident and you won't see your beloved Sister Nancy Beth getting her head sawed off on Al Jazeera. Praise Him!


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