The elements of treason

Not an honorable one in the batch

Sorry for the gap in blogging, Christians, but your dear Sister Nancy Beth has entered the belly of The Beast by enrolling in a chemistry course four nights a week at her local community college. It is, as you would expect, a perversion of everything good and Holy in Our Nation, an open invitation to God to smite us mightily once again. While I had previously thought that biology represented the nadir of Christian-bashing in academia, the past three days have truly opened my eyes. At least in biology you have opposing schools of thought, what with the Intelligent Design and Global Cooling movements and all, but in Chemistry they're all unabashed Stalinists, marching in lockstep to sharia-compliant World Communism.

The ivory tower elistists running this show have gone to every conceivable length to denigrate America's Judeo*-Christian Heritage, starting with the "periodic" table of the elements. Just its name is offensive, as it serves up the same sort of vulgar, in-your-face feminism embodied by the [Ladyparts] Monologues, and in many ways should be considered its spiritual lesbian foremother. The elements themselves reflect the liberal bias of higher education: One is named after France, another is named after an intimate part of the female anatomy, there's one named after a dead female Mexican singer as a sop to the open-borders/multiculturalism crowd, plus a whole bunch named after bisexual Greek deities. Not surprisingly, Code Pink was given the choice of selecting which places in America would be represented: Berkeley and California. Clearly there's no room in chemistry for God or Country, as only one is named after America (and it could be that dreadful Latin America, for all we know), and Our Lord and Savior Jesus doesn't even rate a single mention.

Despite being my sworn spiritual enemy, the instructor maintains at least a facade of civility in the classroom. That is not the case with the TA for the lab component, "Omar," from Cuba -- need I say more? When I questioned the wisdom of freely distributing potentially fissile chemical compounds like H₂0 and small aluminum cubes without first running NSA background checks on my fellow students, and told him that certain Middle Eastern countries had been invaded for less, he dismissed these concerns out of hand while launching into talking points he presumably cribbed from the ACLU's website about safety goggles and keeping our workspace clean. And they wonder why we question their patriotism?

My classmates are a fairly unremarkable lot, with two exceptions: An older woman whom I call "Hillary," who wants to argue over everything (attendance policy, the syllabus, the wording for test questions that haven't even been written yet), and the swarthy, hirsute, and presumably undocumented Jose, whose chest hair poking up from beneath the collar of his t-shirt is endlessly distracting and a Siren's call to illicit fornication. No wonder venereal disease is so rampant on today's campuses -- not everyone has the same capacity for abstinence and self-denial as Sister Nancy Beth. And with these tempting little cupcakes like Jose sauntering around in their cargo shorts and flip-flops, today's Christian student certainly has a hard road ahead of her. I pray that I can show how my sisters in Christ how to find the inner Light that temperance provides, probably by making an anonymous phone call to the INS.

I'm not quite sure how this will affect blogging over the next eight weeks, aside from taking away more time from it. I've asked Kevin over at American Street to see if he'd consider moving my slot from Tuesday to either Saturday or Sunday, since the only thing happening Monday through Thursday is a whole lotta Christian Persecution. In the meantime, I'm going to try to offer brief, koan-like moments of zen when studying eases up or I need to take a break from all that shemaleum sulfide reacting with oxygen to form lesbianic acid. So if you check back here and see nothing's been posted, think of me and say a Prayer, and hopefully something will show up soon. Praise Him!

* Go Israel!

What a friend we have in Nancy Beth

Loyal Nancy-Cons ThePoliticalCat & Ayn Clouter have found that out. Many thanks for the link, Christians.

Today Jesus & I are headed to San Diego, where we will enlist the support of His brother, who's temporarily stationed there as part of teh Global War on Terror, in our protests. I predict a fresh batch of Outrage tomorrow once I resume my normal Persecution at the Beauty Palace. Praise Him!

Time sure flies when you're being Persecuted

Nutritious and delicious -- have a slice.

Holy smokes, has it been two years already since I first set out to slay the blogosphere? I haven't quite accomplished that particular goal, but I'm confident I've made myself a thorn in The Left's side. As Our President would say, "Mission Accomplished!"

I'm not inclined to draw attention to myself (which kinda explains the general lack of pimping this site in the comments section at MichelleMalkin.com), but seeing as I did absolutely nothing to note this occasion last year, I might as well. After all, who's to say Hillary won't have me rubbed out by this time next September? As for the process of blogging, I'm at a loss for any words of wisdom (they'll hit me, tomorrow, when anyone has ceased caring), but for now, thanks to everyone for reading this, except those perverts who only come here looking for porn. Praise Him!

Wednesday excuses-for-not-blogging-for-the-past-week blogging

Hopefully this won't turn into a regular feature. Sorry to be so quiet on this end, Christians, but my sister passed away after a two year struggle with cancer last week. Given my state, it was probably best I didn't write anything, because the sentiments I was expressing to friends -- that Christianity offers precious little in the way of spiritual comfort, that terminally ill people shouldn't have to fight with their insurance companies, that life isn't so precious and death isn't so fearsome -- would have probably made you think Sister Nancy Beth had become a raving lesbian and was auditioning for a spot as a diarist on DailyKos. Needless to say, I I'm back to my old self, and I'm more than ready to fight the good fight against The Left. I hope you don't mind, but I'm turning off comments for this one. I've had two solid days of people expressing their condolences, and while I appreciate the generosity of spirit it represents, there are more pressing matters at hand -- like blaming the woes of Our Nation on Muslims and homosexuals. They've had a free ride long enough, so it's high time they once again feel the sting of my lash. Praise Him!

Sister Nancy Beth bares all

Rather than going through the usual junior high posturing about how "uncool" these blog meme thingies are, and fretting that I'll forever blow my chances of being asked to join The Corner if I respond to one, I'll just thank loyal Nancy-Con Rain Storm for the opportunity to blog about myself. After all, I find myself endlessly fascinating, and I'm sure most of you do as well. The real reason memes have developed a bad reputation isn't that they commandeer your limited writing time while interrupting the flow of your blog, but that they rarely invite the tagged party to write about me, Sister Nancy Beth. After all, who wants to read about some puny blogger's gray little life when you could be reading about how often I trim my toenails? So until Blog About Sister Nancy Beth Day comes (oh yes, you know it's coming), sit back and bask in the warm glow of me, me, me.

1. All right, here are the rules. 2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts. 3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves. 4. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. 5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I have amassed a modest collection of musical instruments since my teen years (mandolin, Appalachian dulcimer, dvoyanka, harmonium, tamboura -- which I spell with a b because when I say tampura people think I'm talking about batter-fried Japanese food), but I have only recently made a concerted effort to learn to play one of them, the guitar.

2. The first record I ever owned was Heart's Little Queen, a Christmas gift from one of my older brothers.

3. The first record I ever bought was Double Platinum by Kiss.

4. In my previous life as a selfish hedonist (prior to my finding God, taking Jesus into my heart, and getting kicked out of beauty school), I was an uncivil liberal blogger. The remnants of my shameful past are here.

5. I have a nervous habit of biting the skin off my bottom lip. Gross, huh?

6. I studied Russian for three years and Czech for two, but barely remember a word of either.

7. I love cats, but find moderate to large sized dogs intimidating (something to do with bad formative experiences with our neighbor's pit bull).

8. I also love squirrels, and would devote an entire blog to random squirrel attacks if I hadn't already killed one blog with neglect and treated this one here with stretches of appalling indifference.

And now the fun part. The following loyal Nancy-Cons are hereby summoned to appear at the blogging equivalent of jury duty: responding to this meme.

1. Space Cadet
2. Why Oh Why
3. Proud Progressive at Some Notes on Living
4. Take Your Medicine
5. LiquidDaddy at Zippidy Do Da
6. Reality Cubed
7. I Make No Promises
8. Occasional commenter ExMoWeHomo (Busted! Just because you don't have a blog doesn't mean you can't share in the suffering. Feel free to answer in comments section)

Have fun. And remember, blame this guy. Praise Him!