Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Witness to history

I'm usually not one to weigh in on celebrity gossip, since most movie stars are either homosexuals, liberals, criminals, or drug addicts (or all of the above). But given the constant droning of news choppers over Paris Hilton's safehouse (well within earshot of mine & Jesus' pad) for the past two days, I figured I'd engage in some of that citizen journalism that has MSM lying sleepless at night. Here's the view from outside our front door:

This happy little fellow was there when I got home last night and left some time around 7:30, when it became evident that Ms. Hilton was no longer going to have any more cheeseburgers delivered. A few more helicopters came and went before I called it a day, so I figured that was the end of the story. Wrong. As I was leaving to protest the gym a little before 5:00 this morning, the first one came buzzing by, presumably to catch any surreptitious pastry drop-offs for an early morning newscast. There were two helicopters by the time I got home at 6:30, which made me think that the cupcake beat must really be heating up. Jesus said He wishes she goes back to jail so He can get some sleep.

While I may have my judgments about Miss Hilton, it would be negligent of me to ignore the political dimensions of this story. True, she is a drunk whore who has routinely displayed a shocking lack of regard for the law. But on the other hand, she is rich, and white, and if anyone deserves leniency from the horrors of the penal system, it's this disenfranchised group. Unless we Republicans want to relegate ourselves to permanent minority status in the years to come, it's important that we begin reaching out to rich white people, to show them that the Party is big enough for all of us. Demanding justice for Paris -- for Scooter, for all of the martyrs of the judicial system -- is a small gesture of solidarity for our oppressed brethren that will reap enormous dividends.

As a pointless aside, I should note that isn't my first encounter with the media convoy that celebrity felons drag behind them like the train of a wedding gown. In 1994, I was living off Veteran in Westwood and got to watch the armada of police vehicles following O.J. Simpson up the 405. As I'm overcome with nostalgia, I can't help but wonder how many more convicted superstars will touch my life.
Since I'm blathering on about nothing in particular, what better time to resume doing Friday random-ten iPod lists? Here's what you'd be stuck listening to if you were at mine & Jesus' place:

Mojave - Ikue Mori With Robert Quine And Marc Ribot
Vacant Night Sky - Mecca Normal
Star Ruby - Movietone
Joshua - Dolly Parton
Make It Go Away - Barbara Manning
Camp Orange - Cornershop
New Flash - Kissyfur
Dream By Dream - The Chills
Dimming Of The Day/Dargai - Richard & Linda Thompson
Artificial Sound Disc - K-Group

Damn, I've got some old records. I've also begun the arduous process of tranfering my vinyl lps to my computer using this handly little contraption Jesus gave me for Christmas. Here's the state of the art recording studio, which looks suspiciously like our dining room, where all this audio alchemy (It's in Nancyphonic!) is happening:

It's pretty straightforward, but I've had one big hurdle that I'm strill trying to work around. The pre-amp in my crappy little Aiwa turntable doesn't give enough signal to record at an optimal level, but when I plug it into a receiver, it makes everything I try to record sound like outtakes from Metal Machine Music. Jesus is encouraging me to get one of these because it has its own pre-amp and would solve this whole problem, and I think He really wants me to get this project finished so I can clear off the dining room table. So I'll look into that and probably make little updates when I've got nothing else to write about. Praise Him!

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  • At June 08, 2007 1:23 PM, Blogger Y | O | Y said…

    Sister, I'm happy this post provided your flock with an unexpected bonus...the chance to see the very electronic pulpit from which you preach your cherished words of Christian faith and single handedly investigate the venomous porn industry.

    As for Paris, perhaps she can put her wealth to good use and have high speed Internet installed in the jail so she can monitor your sight. Your posts could start her on the righteous path of Our Saviour, with you leading the parade straight to heaven.

    And Sheriff Baca...there are reports that he is a Scientologist! Another one succumbing to the call of celebrity. At least Scientologists don't suffer from any mental disorders (just ask Tom Cruise) so we won't be hearing about any namby-pamby nervous breakdown out of him. Baca chatted me up at a fundraiser years ago. Maybe he was trying to recruit me? Who knows? I had other things on my mind, like monitoring the illicit behavior of the homosexuals at the garden party. Some even caugh me staring.

  • At June 08, 2007 2:00 PM, Blogger proudprogressive said…

    Goodness, watching from afar on CNN the most trusted name in the news. I could not help but feel Paris was being subjected to an Extroidinary Rendition ! Kicking and Screaming all the way to the pokey. Lets hope she remembered to bring her Bible,seems she was caught a bit off guard this time. She forgot herself too, crying out for her mother..when indeed she should have been crying out for Jesus, Praise Him !.

    Who knows maybe she will have a jail house conversion and become an activist for the Lord. If they let her keep her make up,of course.

    Your point Sister is well taken(as usual) rich white folks are the truly oppressed, this case makes that plain for all to see.

    Hail Mary !

  • At June 09, 2007 9:58 PM, Blogger Blueheart2 said…


    I was going to suggest a cheap little preamp for your records, but I changed my mind. The Ion looks great and I should buy one, too! Why put off until tomorrow...you never know what could happen to us rich white Christians. What will happen to my Mitch Miller vinyl?

    Hail Mary!

  • At June 12, 2007 4:10 PM, Blogger Sister Nancy Beth Eczema said…

    YOY: "... and single handedly investigate the venomous porn industry."


    PP: A Sister Paris jailhouse conversion to Christian cosmetology would be beyond Heavenly! This evening's vespers (aka taking out my contacts) are devoted to making that happen.

    BH2: Jesus & I came across the Ion turntable at Best Buy this weekend. It's tempting, but I've got a growing list of tech demands, making for quite a moral dilemma. I am seeking The Lord's counsel.


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