Edicts of Nancy

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Wigs in space

It's been awfully quiet on the Christian Cosmetology beat for the past few months, but that changed as soon as I saw that The Left was trying to use hairpieces in the commission of a felony in order to derail Our President's space program:
DISGUISED in a dark wig, glasses and a trench coat, US space shuttle astronaut Lisa Nowak waited in hiding for a woman she considered a rival for another astronaut's affections and tried to kidnap her, police in Orlando, Florida, have said.

Ms Nowak, 43, was arrested on charges including battery and attempted kidnapping, according to an Orlando police affidavit.

She told police she drove from Houston to the Orlando International Airport to confront Colleen Shipman, who Ms Nowak considered a rival for the attentions of fellow astronaut Bill Oefelein, the affidavit said.
I've been trying to find out more about this wig, such as its color, length, style, and whether its real hair or made from synthetic fibers, but MSM obviously is trying to downplay the cosmetology angle in this story... as is their wont. Anyway, abusing a wig in this manner strikes me as the sorts of special circumstances that warrant especially severe punishment; the law is pretty clear on this matter.

What's unclear is what ultimately drove this woman to act on these Hillary-like impulses: Feminism, global warming hysteria, and the terrorist-emboldening initiatives of the new Democratic congress no doubt instigated her life of attempted crime. But as more details come to light, I think we will find her fate was sealed, and indeed, the entire space program is threatened, by that irresistible Siren of contemporary leftism: MySpace. Scoff if you will, but one of my Prayer Warriors, Peter La Barbera, recently pointed out that homosexuals frequently use these social networking sites to weaken America. Consider the downfall of one Lance Bass: The former space enthusiast and presumed heterosexual even attempted to snag a spot on a trip to the International Space Station -- true, it was for the Reds, but we know how confused celebrities are in their loyalties to America. But then he joined MySpace, and quickly began smoking human pipe. Christians, MySpace presents a bigger threat to the American militarization of space than all the satellite-zapping missiles the heathen Chinee can produce. If it is allowed to continue poisoning the minds of America, the break-ups of gay celebutard couples and shenanigans of deranged lady astronauts will be the least of Our Nation's troubles. Praise Him!

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