Bridging the gap

Like all Americans, I find our neighbors to the north utterly baffling. Culturally, Canadians seem to be just like us, but when you look at, say, their pop music charts, you'll see vestigial traces of misshapen national autonomy in the form of wtf? acts like "Melissa O'neill" or "Crazy Frog's Crazy Hits." These serve as loud & clear reminders that, despite whatever similarities we may share with them, these people truly warrant our suspicions. Fortunately, though, while protesting my gym & watching CNN on the close-captioned monitors this morning, I had an epiphany of sorts:

REP. PETER KING (R), NEW YORK: Americans should be very concerned because Canada is our northern neighbor and there is a large al Qaeda presence in Canada. I think there's a disproportionate number of al Qaeda in Canada because of their very liberal immigration laws, because of how political asylum is granted so easily and, also, the previous government, quite frankly, in Canada, I don't think was tough enough, as far as going after terrorism.

So this is what it feels like when doves cry! Here in America, blaming prior administrations has achieved a nearly Sacramental level of importance when it comes to absolving conservatives of guilt. I am delighted to see that it has the potential to cross over to other national markets, regardless of whether your president/prime minister has been fellated by a plump Jewess or not. Welcome to the big leagues, Canada -- I knew there wasn't a reason we hadn't nuked you yet! Praise Him!