Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Will MSM report this one?

Liberals may like to bury their heads in the sand about these sorts of terrifying threats, but Saddam's & Osama's bio-warfare programs have borne their insidious fruits yet again. I should know, because Jesus and I were the targets. We've been sneezing and coughing for days, and I'm sure it's just a matter of hours before entire organ systems go into failure. I've been all over Newsmax to see how widespread Al Qaeda's latest offensive was, but since they haven't reported anything on it -- yet -- I'll assume it was a selective strike. Well, Muslims, sorry to disappoint, but unlike Jill Carroll, I'm going down with both barrels blazing!

I think Saddam's agents got me Sunday night, when I went to a show at the Roxy. Despite my fondness for music, I'm loathe to go out to see it live -- something about "rock club" whispers "toilet paper optional." But after one and a half Bloody Nancies (essentially a Bloody Mary, but with a Slim Jim instead of a celery stalk), I had my date with destiny. I'm sure Courtney Love finds their stalls a most hospitable place to shoot up, but I would have preferred some cozies. There's no doubt that's where they made their hit.

To add insult to injury, the show was morally deplorable. One of the ladies at church raved about "Hedwig & the Angry Inch", and said it would be right up my alley, since it frankly addressed the important role cosmetics played in bringing down the Berlin Wall ("If only the Gipper were alive to see this," I naively thought to myself while waiting on the sidewalk out front). I suppose I could have done some research, but after that glowing recommendation, I assumed the Angry Inch was some quaint Eastern Bloc term analogous to our Moral Majority: those who toil quietly in the hopes of freedom, but whose efforts are repeatedly marginalized by the Jews & homosexuals who control MSM.

Needless to say, yesterday was pure hell, and today isn't shaping up much better. After Sunday night's humiliation of being forced to watch every perversion known to mankind (and perhaps a few that remain uncataloged), it's become evident that the conservative culture industry needs to think about making inroads into the musical theater genre. I'd like to see Mel Gibson direct a stage version of The Passion of the Christ, with bloody eruptions that put Gallagher's watermelons to shame. Now *that's* entertainment. Praise Him!


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