Stop trimming Satan's beard
Take a bold stand on the hot-button issue of pubic waxing with my heavenly new thong, available exclusively at my Christian Crafts Mart outlet store. Emblazoned with the catchy new slogan, "What Would Jesus Wax?" in chastity-enhancing Verdana, this undergarment will shield your delicate ladyparts from all sorts of airborne sinfulness. Christian doctrine teaches us that waxing leaves us morally vulnerable (though a judicious pruning of the tierra del fuego is permissible if the moonbats are trying to have you designated as an old growth habitat), so keep Satan at bay in the height of Christian fashion in my stunningly elegant thong. Praise Him!
UPDATE (from comments): Blue Gal approved -- sweet!