Backdoor Mountain*

Jesus and I decided today would be a good day to protest Brokeback Mountain, Hollywood's latest effront against Christian values, so off to The Grove we went. The movie doesn't offer much in terms of plot: Two perverts penetrate one another out in the wilderness over the course of two hours and twenty minutes. No one gets possessed or resurrected, but at least somebody dies. Since nothing really happens, the only message I came away with is that nature's austere beauty could turn even the most rugged man into a raving nancy. It's little wonder there's so much common cause between the gay rights & environmental movements. They're probably planning on turning ANWR into another gay resort destination, like Guerneville or Provincetown.

Few things propagate homosexuality like its sensitive depiction by popular young actors on film, so this movie clearly presents a grave threat to Our Nation's Families. It also abuses cosmetics in a way I find morally objectionable, by not putting any on one of the central female characters. One bit of moral truth, however, did makes its way into the film, namely that God slaughters a baby lamb each time homosexuals fornicate. So, all in all, another effective recruitment tool for the homosexual/environmental/anti-cosmetics movement.

*I could have done Bareback Mountain, but that's too easy.