Freedom's fall palette

While it can never be said often enough that 9/11 is the Day that Changed Everything, today's Christian woman will forever mourn 8/10: the day we could no longer bring liquid eyeliner aboard commercial aircraft. Moonbats have spent the last five years blubbering about the loss of their precious "rights," but when my sisters can't so much as freshen their makeup on a domestic flight, I'd tell them to take their phoney-baloney grievances up with Saddam. (And, quite frankly, I'd be more than happy if the G-Men took an interest in the usual topic of my telephone conversations with friends and family: the anti-Christian persecution I must constantly endure at Conchita's Unisex Beauty Gulag. I'm sure they'd be a lot more effective than my constant entreaties to the California Labor Commissioner in this matter.)

Anyway, the last time we heard from Al Jazeera's American division, USA Today, they were happily divulging important state secrets in an effort to advance Islezbofascism. Perhaps the horrifying thought of a Nation without cosmetics finally got to them, because Jesus found this article about TSA-safe beauty aids that will have you preaching the Gospel of Glamour at 30,000 feet:

New carry-on regulations have left female fliers in a cosmetics conundrum. With common products banned, USA TODAY's Colleen Clark went in search of liquid-free alternatives, from foundation to face wash. A sampling:

La Femme Leave it: Liquid mascara

Pack it: La Femme cake mascara

Why it flies: Harking back to a more glamorous time for makeup — and travel — the '40s-style cake mascara is still a favorite of pros. Glide a moistened brush across the compact, and it'll go on just like your tube version.

I like to think of it as MSM's Act of Contrition, but they've got a long way to go. But if USA Today keeps giving us stories like this, we might be able to take them seriously again as a newspaper. Praise Him!