Edicts of Nancy

The blogosphere's most persecuted Christian!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Lessons in The Lord's Infinite Bounty

Father Joe's sermon at mass yesterday was about the abundance of the The Lord's gifts. We certainly got to see this principle in action, as seating was especially plentiful on account of some televised sporting event (the best thing about which I can say is that it was apparently nipple-free). Had they bothered to show up, these armchair Christians would have learned not to hoard what we perceive as our own finite resources, but rather to give of them freely and let The Lord replenish them. I've often felt decorum has required that I hold my tongue, but I've taken Father Joe's words to heart and will be more generous in sharing my "intolerance", as The Left is so fond of calling it, even at things that I would normally have kept silent about. And indeed, why shouldn't I speak up? After all, anyone who's afraid to voice unpopular opinions in a country so deeply rooted in Christianity is probably going to Hell anyway. This is what's outraged me over the weekend:

Agape Press directs us towards a new government site geared towards helping parents talk to their teens about the joys of chastity. That's all well and good, except for one thing:
While condoms aren't perfect, they are the only method of contraception that can help reduce the risk of STDs. Other methods of contraception like birth control pills, shots and patches do not reduce the risk of STDs. Tell your son or daughter that the best way to avoid getting an STD is for them not to have vaginal, oral, or anal sex until they are in a mutually faithful, monogamous relationship, preferably marriage.
"Preferably marriage"? Why is the federal government equivocating on the bedrock institution of Western Civilization, and why won't they state that people should abstain from all this dirty sexual business until they're MARRIED? And more importantly, why is the government of a country founded on Christian principles condoning oral and anal sex, even among married people? They obviously know something we don't. My guess is that another homosexualist cabal is running this organization, and what we are witnessing is the groundwork for that day when radical gay activists criminalize heterosexual marriage altogether. Outrageous!

There's no magnetic sticker I won't put on the Praisemobile to show my committment to our men in uniform, but this item, about how the military is trying to counsel its soldiers on marriage, infuriated me like nobody's business:
It teaches the lovestruck to pace themselves with a R.A.M. chart the Relationship Attachment Model which basically says don't let your sexual involvement exceed your level of commitment or level of knowledge about the other person.
Perhaps I have a defective missal, but the version of "Onward, Christian Soldiers" I'm familiar with doesn't include any verses about fornicating with the cheap floozies that congregate outside foreign military bases. Why is the military condoning extra-marital sex? This is just another example of the moral rot that started with Clinton's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. Vile.

My final outrage for now is the death of anti-homosexual crusader Jacob Robida, whose only entry on an otherwise pristine rapsheet is taking an ax to a couple of nancies at a gay bar in Massachusetts. Evidently, Janet Reno has assumed the reins of power of the Arkansas State Police, as her jack-booted minions (in spirit, anyways) have once again trampled all over the liberties of God-Fearing Americans to promote their liberal agenda:
The teenager involved in a bloody attack on three men in a Massachusetts gay bar died early on Sunday morning from wounds sustained in a gun battle with Arkansas police, a police spokesman said. ...

The 18-year-old, who had become the subject of a nationwide manhunt after he was accused of wounding three people with a gun and a hatchet in a New Bedford, Massachusetts, gay bar last week, shot and killed a police officer in Gassville, Arkansas on Saturday after the officer pulled the Pontiac over for a routine traffic stop, police said.
Had they bothered to ask him rather than taking him out, I'm sure Robida would have said he was merely acting in self-defense and trying to neutralize a few homosexualists before they gave him AIDS or threw him in jail for heterosexual marriage in the first degree, soon to be a felony. Put yourself in his situation and ask yourself: Would I not do the same? I want my country back!

As Prayer Warrior Michelle Malkin so amply demonstrates, Outrage is a an endlessly flowing river, and it is the duty of every Christian to immerse himself in its cleansing waters*. Praise Him!

* Just don't pee in it.

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