The American Empire strikes back!

I had never encountered a more traitorous band of liberal academics than the "Gang of Four" that ruled Martinelli's Beauty College with a fastidiously manicured iron fist; I've learned since then that that's par for course at America's institutions of higher learning. So it was with sheer delight to read that my fellow conservatives are at last avenging me. I pored over the list of UCLA's Dirty Thirty, compiled by the presumably Christian Andrew Jones, to see how his experiences with totalitarianism in the classroom compared with my own. I was particularly struck by the sordid tale of English professor Robert Watson, a veritable trojan horse of campus radicalism:

Professor Robert Watson has been, for the majority of his academic career, a fairly indistinguishable part of the English department faculty. In fact, a bare-bones review of his academic record shows nothing questionable. In fact, Watson’s role as a long-term Shakespeare scholar makes him as an unfashionable retrograde in a field that increasingly disregards the Bard’s centrality.

But to paraphrase the movie title, there’s something about Bush. Specifically, President George W. Bush. In a brief two-year eruption from 2001-2002, Watson became one of UCLA’s most ardent Daily Bruin correspondents (counting both students and faculty) with hyperbolic attacks seemingly drawn straight from MoveOn.org’s anti-Bush talking points.

It's not just the temerity of doing something as legally questionable as writing a letter to the editor that I find so offensive, but writing a letter that's critical of our intrepid hero, Andrew Jones:

By the time he was unanimously vindicated by the U.S. Supreme Court, he was making his living as a college professor, which I suppose confirms Andrew Jones' claim that "those who couldn't get a real job" and "found the cold winds of reality in the wider world a little harsh ... retreated to the cozy cocoon of teaching" ("Campus suppresses 'right' education," Daily Bruin, Viewpoint, Oct. 31). ...

So there's something quaint about the spectacle of people writing from around the country to congratulate Jones – as he was already heartily congratulating himself – for being so extremely brave as to stand up on the side of the government, the army, the police, the church and all the big-money interests of the society. It must be a lonely if heroic place to stand, with only those forces and the entire political mainstream behind you. I mean, what if some professor asks you a question? Yikes!

Kudos to you, Andrew, for refusing to countenance such treasonous effrontery. I hope your shocking expose puts Doctor Watson and his comrades on notice. Praise Him!