The Academy in Pearls

First they beat you up, then they violate your cornholes.

While I tend to think of myself, with good reason, as the most Persecuted Christian in America, a string of news stories leads me to believe that I need to share my sash & pageant crown with Our Nation's Christian Youth, or at least start a junior division. Not only have the tiniest Treasures of His Kingdom been seduced by Barack Hussein Obama into disrespecting their elders, having plenty of sex, and learning Arabic, but now I learn from my Prayer Warriors at OneNewsNow that The Left plans to subject them to a homosexual recruitment drive ten times more powerful than all three High School Musical movies combined:

The Illinois Family Institute is raising concern over a "safe schools" amendment in the U.S. Congress.

The Safe Schools Improvement Act (H.R. 2262) would ammend the Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act to include bullying and harrasment prevention programs. Laurie Higgins of the Illinois Family Institute says this is one of the central ways to get pro-homosexual information and resources into public schools....

Higgins notes that Kevin Jennings, founder of the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), is currently head of the Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools in the U.S. Department of Education and supports the bill. GLSEN has been described by one pro-family leader as a "child corruption" organization that consistently promotes books that legitimize sexual encounters between adults and minors.

This is an Outrage! Preventing kids from calling other kids "fags" is an abridgement of their rights under the First, and probably Second and Third, Amendments. It also neglects the many important character-building aspects bullying has to offer, like enhancing the self-esteem of the bully. After all, it's what made America great! Just imagine where we'd be if Nancy Pelosi or some other castrating shrew from The Sisterhood said Uncle Sam couldn't pick on gay little countries like Cuba or Guam anymore. Well, I'll tell you where: Canada ... and you know what that means. Christians, please contact your legislators to preserve the right of all children (except white ones) to be subjected to schoolplace violence. Praise Him!

Notes from the underground

Speech after long silence; it is right, or so wrote some radical homosexual activist, presumably between leaving bitchy comments about why a Christian isn't fit to be Miss America on his homo friends' blogs. Greetings from the newest captive nation, Christians, and please forgive my lack of posting. It seems the nation I once loved since I last posted has been turned into a ruthless police state, one held in line by the truncheons of ACORN, Big Arugula, and Katie Couric.

The speed at which Obama's tyranny has become so omnipresent is truly startling. I took the mighty Praisemobile in for an oil change and they wanted to rotate the tires. Socialism! Worse is the subliminal, pro-Obama messages ADP is printing on my paystubs: Run "your taxable income for this period is $2246.37" through an Enigma machine and you'll get "Teach your child his anus is the eighth Wonder of the World."

But possibly the worst of all was the incessant homosexual indoctrination I received while protesting a botany class this spring. It was one insult against Taste and Decency after another, but the final straw for me came during the lecture on monocots (I have no idea either), when the instructor said, "That white stuff that's stuck in your teeth after you eat corn on the cob? That's endosperm."

Well, something in me just snapped: "Good God! Who does your lesson planning, Barney Frank?" And I stormed out, never to return. I've been living a life of quiet desperation ever since, eking out a meager existence back at Conchita's Unisex Beauty Palace, and wondering when, if ever, I would return to political activism for movement conservatism. Christians, I believe that day has come.

One of the ways The Left is destroying Our Nation is through their everyone's a winner/nobody's a loser mollycoddling of delinquents and retards in our public schools. The results of this disastrous approach are evident in the higher incidences of venereal disease and voter identification with the Democrat Party. Now it's compromising the election results in Iran:

Iran's interior ministry said Saturday President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was far ahead with nearly 80 percent of all votes counted, but his pro-reform rival countered that he was the clear victor and warned of possible fraud in the election.

If you ask me, this demonstrates the close working relationship between The Left and Islamic terrorists more than your average Hollywood awards ceremony. What do you want to bet the teachers' union engineered this whole thing? Christians, if we don't want the same thing to happen here, it's imperative that you homeschool your children, before they're converted into gay Iranians. Praise Him!

Educating Nancy Beth

More so than the ACLU or the Girl Scouts of America, if there were any organization that is singlehandedly responsible for turning our once proud country into a loose confederation of sex maniacs, it's the teachers' unions. The vacuum created by their relentless jihad against teaching Christian Values in public schools has instead been filled by the occult studies of Evolution, sex education, and geometry. While public schools may use the carrots of homosexuality and birth control to lure your children into their death camps, they also have one especially effective stick: forcing Christians to pay out of pocket to educate their children in the ways of Our Lord, rather than allowing them to use public funds. The children of Our Nation suffer terribly from The Left's penuriousness, to be sure, but they are hardly the only ones. As you can see, the financial hardship caused by denying vouchers to Christian schools has driven one poor educator into a shameful life of harlotry:

The principal at a Kentucky Catholic school is taking personal leave from his job after police in Louisville allegedly found him dressed as a woman and wearing bondage gear inside his car in a seedy part of town.

Paul A. Schum, 50, was cited for loitering for the purpose of prostitution late Tuesday by Louisville Metro police. Officers allege that they came across the educator inside his parked car when patrolling the neighborhood known for prostitution and narcotics.

Upon approaching the vehicle, police discovered Schum, principal at Bethlehem High School, in full costume, according to Officer Phil Russell, a spokesman for the Louisville Metro Police Department.

"He was wearing an all-black, leather, woman's outfit, fishnet stockings and women's black plastic breasts," Russell said, describing the part of town where Schum was found as "a problem area" for prostitution and drugs.

I point my finger in the face of every liberal and say, "You made this happen." Their intransigence over the imaginary line between Church and State is undoubtedly what drove this man over the edge and into netherworld of the sex trade. While the optimist in me prays that this is an isolated incident, the larger question remains: How many more Catholic school principals will be forced to walk the streets as transvestite hookers because The Left doesn't want your child to learn the Ten Commandments? This is a question we're ultimately going to have to answer in our national conversation about education, and avoiding it only prolongs the problem. If issuing vouchers for Christian schools increases access to Values-based instruction AND keeps tranny hookers off the street, then we are risking God's wrath not to try. Mr. President, tear down that imaginary wall, and Praise Him!