The fable of O
The Left continues to tout the existence of the elusive female orgasm, despite all biological evidence to the contrary. As I have often said, if The Lord intended for us to have such things, He would have given us penises. But regardless of what the facts and common sense say, liberals continue to pursue their great white whale -- and I don't mean Michael Moore (Ha! That joke never gets old!). I've often wondered what motivates them to pursue this specious black-is-white reasoning. For the longest time, I assumed that it was merely another entitlement program created to pander to one of their key constituencies. Today I have my answer: Pure, unalloyed hatred of America. Evidently ladyquakes are the carrots moonbats are using to lead the women of Our Christian Nation over a moral cliff:
"Male-centered cultures where sexual behavior is more oriented toward procreation tend to discount the importance of sexual pleasure for women," he said.What's so wrong with that? I'd hate to see America follow Europe's lead and fall into a state of dhimmitude because our fertile women are awaiting a visit from The Perverted Left's version of tooth fairy, rather than grunting out freshly minted Christians. I say to my fellow Americans: Stay the course. One of our more Enlightened states has enacted legislation keeping Satan's prosthetic digits out of our ladyparts, and I am delighted to read that Our President is taking steps to secure Our Nation's Virtue. Praise Him!

13 Comments:
At April 26, 2006 11:29 AM,
Missy Vixen said…
You poor, poor pitiful child. Not only does my man ensure that I get as many O's I want, but I myself do a damn fine job of giving them to me as well. I'm more than willing to give you a few lessons.
Babe, you have NO idea what you've been missing.
At April 26, 2006 11:31 AM,
Missy Vixen said…
Dammit...this is a parody, isn't it?
At April 26, 2006 11:45 AM,
Sister Nancy Beth Eczema said…
Sure, Missy Vixen, and I've got the Loch Ness Monster in my bathtub.
At April 26, 2006 5:47 PM,
Dom said…
This must be a joke, if not pretty nutty, added to my favorites if only for the fun
At April 26, 2006 7:17 PM,
elendil said…
This must be a joke...
I think so. Um ..just in case, might I recommend something ever so cute and pink? I'm sure it's a parody, but the consequences of my being wrong are just too great for me not to hedge my bets :-)
At April 26, 2006 8:00 PM,
jitterfug said…
Thank God you're Christian. Scientologists aren't allowed to "grunt" out freshly minted Christians, even if they grunt them out into the be-gloved hands of their Scientologist overlords. In Scientology, no one can hear you grunt. Well, they could hear you, but they don't, because you won't.
Now: if God didn't want you to blog, He wouldn't have given you e-dicts, would He?
And furthermore: I have 1,000,000 different lipsticks, and none of them looks okay on me. Should I buy Lipstick No. 1,000,001, or should I get new lips?
At April 27, 2006 6:39 AM,
kac90b said…
This absolutely has to be a parody site. If so, it's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. If it's not a parody site, it's one of the dumbest damn things I've ever read.
At April 27, 2006 9:13 AM,
heterodox said…
hhaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahahhaah hjkfslahgfdlshgfdlshgfdls.
hoooooo. man. i needed a good laugh.
thanks.
At April 27, 2006 12:05 PM,
Demosthenes said…
Either this is a parody of a Wingnut, or this post sets a new high water mark for the hopeless ignorance of the Right.
And Jesus wept....
At April 27, 2006 8:19 PM,
jeffperado said…
demosthenes,
I am not sure about parody or not. I didn't laugh at all, but my girlfriend was roaring with laughter. In fact she was laughing so hard she came twice!
At April 28, 2006 6:52 AM,
I Heart Digits said…
"Satan's prosthetic digits"
Classic!
Now why didn't I think of that?!
(But, don't forget to pick up Satan's energy tubes. They'll keep you going and going and going.)
At April 28, 2006 9:03 PM,
Sister Nancy Beth Eczema said…
re: satan's digits - Since people actually seem to be reading this, it is necessary to acknowledge the vital importance the late great Sister Taffy (her corpse is preserved for the ages here), whose anti-tampon crusade ("pulling the plug on Satan") referred to tampons as Satan's cotton fingers, and has been an endless source of inspiration to me as a woman and a Christian. Sister Taffy, I praise your name!
At November 04, 2007 4:30 PM,
k said…
Sadly for you, the president is not God. Sex is not evil. My hint to you is that you should do more research on the aspects of sexuality rather than blindly follow a book written thousands of years ago.
Always ask why, don't just do as your told.
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