Obama Mia

Another great metaphor by the GOP

Given the threat socialized medicine presents to Our Nation's Values, I'm thrilled to see conservatives have finally taken the gloves off and are comparing Barack Hussein Obama's policy initiatives to Abba songs. After all, contrary to what those simpering liberals want you to believe, national health care is little more than a giant homosexual recruitment campaign, much like the catchy music of those porn-loving Swedes.

The public option's deeply un-Christian purposes become readily apparent when you look at the many industrialized (i.e. socialist!) countries mentioned as having a functioning national health insurance system: Great Britain, Canada, France. Great Britain, as you are well aware, has been a hotbed of radical homosexual activism for eons, and it was only a matter of time before the anti-family agenda of perverts like Oscar Wilde and King Edward II erupted like a dormant case of genital warts. Canada has enthusiastically embraced gay marriage and medical marijuana -- it's like San Francisco, only on the metric system. And I don't want to talk about France; it's too disgusting.

More alarming are the many "medical" procedures that Obama and his anally-fixated goons at ACORN will be inflicting on the American populace. Average Joes will soon have their rosy sphincters subject to constant violation as colonoscopies, once the playthings of the rich coastal homosexual elite, become commonplace as a way of "screening" out cancer. The dirty pillows of Christian womanhood -- not to mention modesty -- will face equally cruel onslaughts as the TSA union moves their angry lesbian baggage checkers into positions at Obama's mammogram clinics.

Soon the only way to keep Christian will be to avoid the doctor's altogether, an option that the 18% of our countrymen without insurance are currently enjoying. Why not promote greater Virtue in America by increasing that number, and sinking Obama's depraved health plan altogether? Praise Him!

Taking the high road?

Throughout his presidency, Barack Hussein Obama has made one foreign policy blunder after another, often disgracing himself, his office, and his country in the process. How, then, will he react to the latest communique from Al Qaeda?

An American who left the United States to join an Al Qaeda-linked group in Somalia is strongly condemning President Obama’s efforts to seek “a new beginning” with the Muslim world, mocking Obama's “magic of charisma” and warning of more attacks against U.S. interests.

The honorable response to this sort of mockery, of course, would to be to resign from office. After all, it's about country, and if the liberal media doesn't understand that, it's because they haven't spent enough time in America's small towns. However, given The One's deep hatred for Our Nation, as well as his "mysterious" fondness for the so-called "Religion of Peace," he'll probably continue to show his disregard for the presidency by continuing his term, rather than quitting, like a true leader would. Keep that in mind when 2012 rolls around, Christians. Praise Him!

Quitting is for winners!

The Martyrdom of Saint Sarah

Has The Left ever feared anyone as much as Sarah Palin? Feminists hate her because she disproves the old womynist canard that we need to compete with men on their own level to succeed, when all that we really need is a nice set of cans to shake at Bill Kristol -- I keep a halter top rolled up in my purse, just in case... Lezzies can't stand her because she managed to play basketball all the way through high school without turning into a mulleted box-muncher. And homos are insanely jealous of her because she possesses the real-deal ladyparts that allow her to bear children, even if most of her kids are retards. So the moonbats must be feeling pretty swell now that they've managed to run her out of the governor's office with their vicious photoshops and baseless ethics complaints. But guess again, libtards, because quitting's just another word for nothing else left to win:

Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out. And a problem in our country today is apathy. It would be apathetic to just hunker down and "go with the flow".

So it would take a quitter to tough in out and not quit... and someone who quits is a winner(!) angling for victory from a different direction:

In the words of General MacArthur said, "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."

Testify, Sarah! If I may employ a sports analogy of my own, when I was in sophomore P.E., I'd claim the Curse of Eve had my ladyparts tied in knots to get off the volleyball court, and then I'd go sit on the bleachers and copy my friend's homework for third period Algebra. And I got a C in both classes! I can't help but think this might be the plan at work here: fake an injury and then go copy somebody else's notes. If Team Sarah thinks this is the winning strategy for getting her back on the road to the White House, they must know they can count on the support of Conservatives like me. Praise Him!