Ancient Chinese Secret

Even though the malignant effects of "gay" marriage are widely known, Our Nation continues to struggle with this scourge. In a horrific updating of the domino theory, state after state continues to succumb to the Lavender Menace, with the good people of Washington State now joining the boys in the band (skin flute, first chair). So imagine my delight to learn via my Prayer Warriors at World Net Daily that one country had found a way to preserve the Sanctity of Marriage: by exerting crushing amounts of pressure on the cocksuckers to conform.

There may be as many as 16 million women on the Chinese mainland who are married to homosexual men, a leading expert has estimated.

Professor Zhang Bei-chuan at Qingdao University, an authority on AIDS and HIV, says that due to traditional family values in China, about 90 percent of homosexual men get married because of pressure to conform.

I'm typically hard-pressed to say anything favorable about our goldfish-tending friends from the Orient, but this willingness to do any job, no matter how personally distasteful they may find it, raises their standing in my eyes immeasurably. Maybe if The Left ever finds a few billion dollars for one of those high-speed railroads they're always threatening to sock us taxpayers with, we can import some Chinese homosexuals to build it! As a gesture of gratitude, we can let them marry some of our comely American daughters. If history is any guide, they will ascend the ranks of the Republican Party establishment and become our future mayors, senators, and God willing, maybe even president. This is exactly the sort of work ethic America needs. Praise Him!