Incontinental Breakfast

The rustic accomodations of bed & breakfasts have had an exalted spot in the hearts of Christians ever since Our Heavenly King was born at the inn in Bethlehem. The unconscious touches of Americana found at your typical B&B -- the quilts, the cozies, the salt & pepper shakers in the likeness of John Quincy Adams -- emphasize how deeply a Christian nation America is. Striking a blow against these veritable Temples of Wholesomeness is something only someone who despises America would want to do, so it comes as no surprise to learn that radical homosexual activists are trying to do just that:

A bed and breakfast in Illinois that is currently under attack by a homosexual couple is now getting aid from Alliance Defense Fund.

Complaints were lodged with the state Human Rights Commission by two men who objected to the owners of the TimberCreek Bed and Breakfast refusing to allow their property to be used for same-gender civil union ceremonies, which are now legal in Illinois.

ADF attorney Bryan Beauman says about the owners of the bed and breakfast, “They're willing to host weddings for marriages, but they decline to host any civil union ceremonies for both same-sex or opposite-sex couples. But we just believe this discrimination charge is baseless.”

Having dealt with my share of hysterical queens and their knee-jerk accusations of hydrophobia over the years, I find the ADF's sangfroid to be the best way to respond to The Left's tantrums. Baseless indeed:

An e-mail reply from [TimberCreek owner] Jim Walder stated: “We will never host same-sex civil unions. We will never host same-sex weddings even if they become legal in Illinois. We believe homosexuality is wrong and unnatural based on what the Bible says about it. If that is discrimination, I guess we unfortunately discriminate.”

When informed by Todd Wathen of the new law, Walder replied in an e-mail, “The Bible does not state opinions, but facts. It contains the highest laws pertinent to man. It trumps Illinois law, United States law, and global law should there ever be any.”

In a later e-mail, Wathen wrote, “Hi Todd, I know you may not want to hear this, but I thought I would send along a couple of verses in Romans 1 detailing how the creator of the universe looks at the gay lifestyle. It’s not to late to change your behavior.”

We should all strive to strike such a moderate and dispassionate tone. By conducting ourselves evenhandedly and with restraint, we can show that our actions are motivated by Christian Love, and not by animosity towards those perverted dick suckers. Praise Him!